Posts

• Category: 2008 Year in Review
  • 2008 Year in Review, #1: Furious Palin demands recount after learning about "Golden State" while watching NBA January 1st, 2009
  • 2008 Year in Review, #2: Bob Costas is so fucking stoked right now that you have no idea December 31st, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #3: Petty to just play Guitar Hero III for Super Bowl halftime December 31st, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #4: Woods returns from vacation to find 423 voicemails from PGA commissioner December 31st, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #5: Pearl to open jewelry store December 31st, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #6: Woman misinterprets husband-to-be’s cries of "we’re going dancing!" December 30th, 2008
  • 2007 Top 20, #7: Brady missing Pro Bowl with unexpected bout of soreloseritus December 30th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #8: Citing failures in New Orleans, NBA moving ‘09 All-Star to Jakarta December 30th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #9: Rodgers offers to not play for only $15 million December 30th, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #10: Olympic swimmer Phelps has water in ear, ends quest for history December 29th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #11: CBS announcer goes to ER after Tebowner lasts for more than four hours December 29th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #12: Local economic development professional boldly predicts 40-homer softball season December 29th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #13: Zambrano skipping spring training until he gets a MacBook Air December 29th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #14: Phillies extend Hamels with an 28-year, $937 million contract December 28th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #15: Andre Johnson surprised, happy to be recognized at Gap December 28th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #16: Entire KU team declares for NBA draft December 28th, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #17: Announcer carefully studying what he can say about female gymnasts without seeming like a total pervert December 28th, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #18: Favre apologizes for behavior, shares Packers playbook with everyone December 27th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #19: Family dog furious after NFL Network left on all day Friday December 27th, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #20: Mayor of New Orleans didn’t know Hornets were in playoffs December 27th, 2008
• Category: Actual communications involving actual athletes
  • Dominican baseballer A-Rod responds to charges — "No hablo Ingles." February 9th, 2009
  • Lebron James furious about all these damn emails from David Plouffe and Barack Obama December 16th, 2008
  • Special to SSNN: Letter to the Editor from God regarding Kurt Warner-love November 12th, 2008
  • Transcript of an audio recording capturing an exchange between Ken Whisenhunt and Kurt Warner of the Arizona Cardinals September 2nd, 2008
  • Actual email from President Bush regarding the commution of Marion "Pacman" Jones’ prison sentence August 6th, 2008
  • Twins prepare Liriano defenses July 31st, 2008
  • Email from George Bodenheimer to Roger Federer regarding proposed Wimbledon coverage July 3rd, 2008
  • Written statement prepared by Brett Favre regarding "un-retirement" rumors July 3rd, 2008
• Category: Archives
  • God tells Warner he’s rooting for Steelers January 21st, 2009
  • First unanimous vote elects steroids to Hall December 12th, 2008
  • Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv November 23rd, 2008
  • Andre Johnson surprised, happy to be recognized at Gap November 23rd, 2008
  • Use Twitter to expand the reach of your site and increase participation November 22nd, 2008
  • Residents of Ohio town refusing to bathe in Michigan water November 22nd, 2008
  • ARCHIVES: Sports Guy’s wife hasn’t read his column in years November 22nd, 2008
  • ARCHIVES — KG: "Facebook would be more fun if I had gone to college" November 21st, 2008
  • ARCHIVES: Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes November 20th, 2008
  • ARCHIVES: Elementary school librarian way too into NASCAR November 19th, 2008
  • ARCHIVE: Man’s wife spends fantasy winnings in single trip to grocery store November 16th, 2008
  • ARCHIVES: Brady Quinn receiving special protection from Joe Thomas November 16th, 2008
  • Revisiting the Athens Olympics: A Retrospective July 1st, 2004
• Category: EmailPub
  • Phelps declares he’s going to win 15 gold medals in London to make up February 3rd, 2009
• Category: Featured News
  • Where will Donovan McNabb end up? May 10th, 2011
  • Could Ingram fall in the draft? April 6th, 2011
  • Local man gets slightly carried away in defense of Tom Brady’s haircut September 26th, 2010
  • Andy Reid to start Kevin Kolb on fantasy team September 26th, 2010
  • Boras demands contract extension for Strasburg August 30th, 2010
  • Manhattan social services rescues infant child from incompetent fantasy owner father April 28th, 2010
  • Crowd wondering who that white dude next to Michael Jordan is September 11th, 2009
  • “Experts” unable to clarify exactly what Vick would do with Pats August 9th, 2009
  • Ozzie Guillen throws perfect temper tantrum July 23rd, 2009
  • Kobe Bryant using ‘Send this story to a friend’ feature to inform Shaq of Lakers off-season moves July 21st, 2009
  • Tim Lincecum skips post-game interviews to see “Harry Potter” July 14th, 2009
  • Sosa: “See, that corked bat thing doesn’t look so bad now, does it?” June 17th, 2009
  • Crosby complains that Stanley Cup is too heavy June 16th, 2009
  • Sidney Crosby removes wax beard June 16th, 2009
  • Detroit to commit suicide if Red Wings don’t win Stanley Cup June 12th, 2009
  • Local 12-year-olds disappointed by lack of Kobe-LeBron Final June 3rd, 2009
  • Favre: no plans to retire from being mental pain in the ass every spring May 8th, 2009
  • Manny Ramirez busted for juicing May 7th, 2009
  • Sidney Crosby upset because all the hats on the ice hurt his vagina May 5th, 2009
  • Matthew Stafford flees to Canada to avoid playing for Detroit Lions May 1st, 2009
  • Mel Kiper, Jr. goes into hibernation for the summer April 30th, 2009
  • Obama thinking about having Zach Duke killed April 15th, 2009
  • After Obama selects North Carolina to win national championship, team goes to Senate for confirmation April 8th, 2009
  • Hal Steinbrenner thinks Derek Jeter may get a lot of chicks April 4th, 2009
  • Obama chooses fifth starter for Detroit Tigers March 30th, 2009
  • Curt Schilling’s blog inducted into baseball Hall of Fame March 25th, 2009
  • Collective Yawn Goes Unheard March 22nd, 2009
  • Cutler, McDaniels to Schedule Slapfight March 19th, 2009
  • Cornell fan devises diabolical plan to get Big Red past Mizzou in NCAAs March 17th, 2009
  • Albert Pujols tearfully admits cheating March 14th, 2009
  • Milton Bradley speaking solely in Internet meme March 12th, 2009
  • Sports reporter would rather be covering economy instead of a basketball game March 12th, 2009
  • Belichick trades heart-less Cassel for almost nothing March 3rd, 2009
  • Manny Ramirez emphasizes to Dodgers he plans to sell his private jet and begin investing in alternative energy March 1st, 2009
  • Jose Rijo denies allegations; says he’s very careful about ages of minors February 27th, 2009
  • Reporter develops new "on steroids" game for A-Rod, kind of like "in bed" with fortune cookies February 27th, 2009
  • Furious Elin Nordegren divorces Tiger Woods following loss to Tim Clarke February 27th, 2009
  • Las Vegas declared ice hockey capital of North America February 25th, 2009
  • Hockey to remove fighting from game; replace it with Rock, Paper, Scissors February 25th, 2009
  • Hoffman to participate in sausage race instead of pitch February 19th, 2009
  • Roger Goodell frantically searching for Ashton Kutcher February 18th, 2009
  • American public still under impression baseball players of old wouldn’t have used steroids February 12th, 2009
  • Brett Favre preemptively retires from remaining 30 NFL teams February 11th, 2009
  • Man furious with co-workers for skipping his Pro Bowl party February 9th, 2009
  • In preseason douche poll, Lane Kiffin wins biggest douche in the SEC award, stunning the field February 9th, 2009
  • Tiger Woods son granted tour card February 9th, 2009
  • NFL season to climax today with Pro Bowl February 8th, 2009
  • Michael Crabtree looking forward to being selected by Lions February 7th, 2009
  • Phelps robs bank, kills man; USOC accepts apology February 6th, 2009
  • Rodgers-Cromartie to coaches: "We should have quadruple-covered Holmes at the end there." February 5th, 2009
  • Kurt Warner orders Whopper, declares faith to drive through attendant February 4th, 2009
  • Kordell Stewart still waiting for people to show up at Super Bowl party February 4th, 2009
  • Manny Ramirez can’t stop talking about “difficult economic times” February 4th, 2009
  • Phil Mickelson dealing with some serious post-Groundhog Day gloomies February 3rd, 2009
  • Phelps declares he’s going to win 15 gold medals in London to make up for recent misstep February 3rd, 2009
  • American viewers becoming disturbed with growing trend of exciting Super Bowls February 2nd, 2009
  • Bruce Springsteen eaten by CC Sabathia during meeting February 1st, 2009
  • UPDATE: Sabathia secures meeting with Springsteen at Super Bowl February 1st, 2009
  • CC Sabathia "so freakin’ pumped" for Springsteen halftime show January 31st, 2009
  • Obama bets stimulus plan on Super Bowl January 30th, 2009
  • God to smite prayers at Super Bowl January 29th, 2009
  • Sheets using Rosetta Stone to learn Spanish in hopes of being signed by Minaya January 28th, 2009
  • Arenas forced to drop "Black President" nickname January 28th, 2009
  • Boston man spends two-thirds of date talking about John Smoltz January 27th, 2009
  • Kurt Warner regularly thanks God for Matt Leinart sucking January 27th, 2009
  • Canseco ready to beat up more Hollywood stars (maybe) January 27th, 2009
  • Carroll actually angry at Sanchez over QB’s intent to "stick it to my daughter" January 26th, 2009
  • After dropping from Senate contention, Kennedy wants New York job where you get paid $20 million a year to do nothing January 26th, 2009
  • Cardinals move up to seventh in ESPN’s latest power rankings January 25th, 2009
  • George W. Bush no longer feeling guilty about managing his fantasy baseball team for 8-10 hours a day January 24th, 2009
  • Cardinals receiver says Bernoulli Effect to blame for sideline spat January 24th, 2009
  • Tell-all book reveals McGwire took steroids, had facial hair, played for Cardinals January 24th, 2009
  • CBS decision to ring in Obama presidency with "One Shining Moment" montage proves controversial January 23rd, 2009
  • Yankees assign Mark Teixeira to wake up CC Sabathia from hibernation January 23rd, 2009
  • Local fantasy league commish draws first pick in the draft for fourth year in a row January 22nd, 2009
  • Nets expected to sign sack of rocks for $2.3 million to facilitate Hughes-Simmons trade January 22nd, 2009
  • Local man has to recalculate entire draft plan upon hearing of Kent’s retirement January 22nd, 2009
  • Obama signs executive order shutting down Detroit Lions January 22nd, 2009
  • Giants surprisingly unsympathetic to lower-seed teams January 22nd, 2009
  • Jacksonville Jaguars blogger can’t figure out uncharacteristically low traffic from Tuesday January 22nd, 2009
  • Kent retires, much to nobody’s dismay January 22nd, 2009
  • Anquan Boldin only Cardinal to not watch inauguration; shunned by teammates January 21st, 2009
  • Typo caused Furcal to sign three-year, $30 deal January 20th, 2009
  • God tells Warner he’s rooting for Steelers January 20th, 2009
  • Utley to write inauguration speech for Obama; will be full of hope, optimism, profanity January 20th, 2009
  • Steelers still not sure who they’ll face in Super Bowl XLIII January 19th, 2009
  • Furious Archie Manning sends loser sons to bed without dinner January 19th, 2009
  • Cuban uses blog to challenge J.R. Smith to steel cage match January 18th, 2009
  • UPDATE: Kurt Warner actually not giving a full $500 per player to charity this year January 17th, 2009
  • Kaká considering name change for English-speaking fans January 17th, 2009
  • Schwartz hoping NFL adds regular season games for shot at loss record January 17th, 2009
  • Gruden to Bucs: "I’m taking QBs with me" January 16th, 2009
  • Kurt Warner makes donations in his teammates name as a thank you for getting him to the Pro Bowl January 16th, 2009
  • Baltimore mayor to change name to "Steelerssuckballsxon" January 16th, 2009
  • Vick threatening to become a vet if he can’t play in NFL January 15th, 2009
  • Zambrano irate about CTA fare increase January 15th, 2009
  • Pacman Jones’ off-season workout to consist of "get[ting] my smoke on." January 15th, 2009
  • 1,000,000th American man masturbates while thinking about Erin Andrews January 14th, 2009
  • Barkley jumps to Verizon: "Surely someone in The Network can give me a blowjob." January 14th, 2009
  • Myron Rolle’s teammates believe he was drafted by Oxford January 14th, 2009
  • Local man not really interested in trading places with Donovan McNabb January 14th, 2009
  • Conservatives concerned about unpopularity of proposed bowl games January 13th, 2009
  • Peter Gammons still talking about baseball right now January 13th, 2009
  • Obama wears Bernard King jersey to White House; has to turn it inside out January 13th, 2009
  • Dungy calls Phil Jackson, asks for advice on tell-all book trashing star player January 13th, 2009
  • Reports from the Kornheiser family indicate that watching a game with Tony Kornheiser on the couch is as or more annoying than watching it with him commentating on TV January 12th, 2009
  • Two dudes in Tampa pretty nervous about getting stabbed by Ray Lewis’s entourage three weeks from tonight January 12th, 2009
  • Favre resumes taking painkillers January 10th, 2009
  • Trail Blazers to League: Pick up Miles and we’re telling on you January 10th, 2009
  • Suddenly feeling very poor, Jeter mails in gold gloves to be melted down for extra cash January 9th, 2009
  • Brett Favre has (probably) played his last NFL game (we think) January 8th, 2009
  • Jay Mariotti embraces new media by choosing oldest dot-com in existence January 7th, 2009
  • Pennington to be benched for 2009 season, hopes to be first three-time Comeback Player January 7th, 2009
  • France declares war on Detroit Lions, ends 120-year losing streak January 7th, 2009
  • Devastated Phillip Rivers likely out for game against Steelers after Perry-McCoy breakup January 6th, 2009
  • Big Ben recites alphabet up to F; doctors pronounce condition "excellent" January 6th, 2009
  • Peyton Manning blows New Year’s Resolution not to get smoked by an inferior team in the playoffs January 6th, 2009
  • Vikings blame weather for playoff loss January 5th, 2009
  • Pennington to Reed "the new Marino to Clayton" January 5th, 2009
  • Jets seeking an older, more mature and experienced quarterback January 5th, 2009
  • Utah victory over Alabama proves once and for all that marrying multiple people is better than marrying only one person who is your cousin January 4th, 2009
  • Furious Manning blames MVP award for playoff loss January 4th, 2009
  • 2008 Year in Review, #1: Furious Palin demands recount after learning about "Golden State" while watching NBA January 1st, 2009
  • 2008 Year in Review, #2: Bob Costas is so fucking stoked right now that you have no idea December 31st, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #3: Petty to just play Guitar Hero III for Super Bowl halftime December 31st, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #4: Woods returns from vacation to find 423 voicemails from PGA commissioner December 31st, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #5: Pearl to open jewelry store December 31st, 2008
  • Donovan McNabb religiously abides by $10 limit in family gift exchange December 31st, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #6: Woman misinterprets husband-to-be’s cries of "we’re going dancing!" December 30th, 2008
  • 2007 Top 20, #7: Brady missing Pro Bowl with unexpected bout of soreloseritus December 30th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #8: Citing failures in New Orleans, NBA moving ‘09 All-Star to Jakarta December 30th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #9: Rodgers offers to not play for only $15 million December 30th, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #10: Olympic swimmer Phelps has water in ear, ends quest for history December 29th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #11: CBS announcer goes to ER after Tebowner lasts for more than four hours December 29th, 2008
  • Shanahan goes to NFL.com for first time ever Sunday night; discovers Broncos almost made playoffs December 29th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #12: Local economic development professional boldly predicts 40-homer softball season December 29th, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #12.5: Big Brown to race Belmont Stakes backwards December 29th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #13: Zambrano skipping spring training until he gets a MacBook Air December 29th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #14: Phillies extend Hamels with an 28-year, $937 million contract December 28th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #15: Andre Johnson surprised, happy to be recognized at Gap December 28th, 2008
  • Local man promises nephew that the Chicago Bears will make the playoffs December 28th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #16: Entire KU team declares for NBA draft December 28th, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #17: Announcer carefully studying what he can say about female gymnasts without seeming like a total pervert December 28th, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #18: Favre apologizes for behavior, shares Packers playbook with everyone December 27th, 2008
  • 2008 Top 20, #19: Family dog furious after NFL Network left on all day Friday December 27th, 2008
  • 2008 Year in Review, #20: Mayor of New Orleans didn’t know Hornets were in playoffs December 27th, 2008
  • Holyfield inks deal to fight "damn kids that won’t get off my lawn" December 26th, 2008
  • Justin Morneau all pissed off at teammates over lack of Boxing Day well-wishes December 26th, 2008
  • Zambrano shoveling snow to make some "fun money" during winter December 26th, 2008
  • Red Sox fans “didn’t want that Teixeira douche anyway” December 26th, 2008
  • Obama to throw out first pitch at Sox opener; Cubs get Sarah Palin December 25th, 2008
  • Matt Cassel not making any friends with "updog" jokes in locker room December 25th, 2008
  • Yankees sign Santa Claus to a 10-year, $210M deal; still get no presents December 25th, 2008
  • Obama doesn’t really have an issue with the way the Yankees spend money December 24th, 2008
  • Korhnheiser makes MNF execs wistful for halcyon days of Dennis Miller December 23rd, 2008
  • Cutler misses crucial practice when stuck in line buying fleece throws at Old Navy (for only $3!) December 23rd, 2008
  • Beckham looking forward to front row seat for better soccer December 23rd, 2008
  • Aaron Rodgers attempting to celebtrate both Christmas and Hannukah December 23rd, 2008
  • Millen Claims 0-16 Lions Season will be his Magnum Opus December 22nd, 2008
  • Youkilis storms out of spinning class at local gym in protest over lack of Hannukah music December 22nd, 2008
  • FOX trades NFL Robot for BCS Championship December 21st, 2008
  • TO mad that people aren’t including him in stuff anymore December 21st, 2008
  • Family dog furious after NFL Network left on all day Friday December 20th, 2008
  • Playboy Playmate named guest offensive coordinator for Philadelphia Eagles December 20th, 2008
  • Johnson proposes 24/7 of himself preparing to battle his own demons December 20th, 2008
  • Entire Jaguars offense misses bus (barely) December 19th, 2008
  • Pavano to Yankees: "Be careful with long-term, high-dollar contracts for generally-unproven, injury-prone free agent pitchers December 19th, 2008
  • 76ers’ Brand to miss 3-4 weeks with torn labia December 18th, 2008
  • Peyton Manning goes "off register" on Ashley’s Christmas gift December 18th, 2008
  • Teammates: Fred Taylor’s text messaging "out of control" December 18th, 2008
  • Lions see potential in winless season December 17th, 2008
  • Marc Bulger has decided to go on J-Date December 17th, 2008
  • Hamilton wins best season by dude who once had a heroin addiction December 17th, 2008
  • Ashley Manning furious with Peyton over Iron Gym pull-up bar purchase December 17th, 2008
  • (Jim) Rome sacked by barbarians December 17th, 2008
  • Florida State Rhodes Scholar stymies local sports satire staff December 16th, 2008
  • McCain throws red challenge flag on election December 16th, 2008
  • Brett Favre ruining Jets’ gift exchange with "buy American" obsession December 16th, 2008
  • Announcement of canceled Arena Football League season is accidentally covered December 16th, 2008
  • Fred Taylor "finally going to sit down and write" this offseason December 16th, 2008
  • Former college journalism major furious with fantasy football leaguemates due to lack of appreciation of weekly newsletter December 15th, 2008
  • "Plaxico" facing serious decline as a baby name December 13th, 2008
  • Tebow wins Wilson award for third year in a row December 12th, 2008
  • Yankees make a play for another big-named pitcher December 12th, 2008
  • Nats offer to $160 million to Teixeira LOL!! LMAO! December 11th, 2008
  • Sabathia to eat old Yankee Stadium December 10th, 2008
  • Colt McCoy worried Palin has "gone rogue" on Heisman campaign December 10th, 2008
  • Braves’ Wren: Trade for Vazquez the "move of the year" December 9th, 2008
  • De La Hoya blocks punch from Pacquiao on Monday afternoon December 8th, 2008
  • CBS announcer goes to ER after Tebowner lasts for more than four hours December 7th, 2008
  • A-Rod to play for Israel in World Baseball Classic? December 7th, 2008
  • Before Pacquiao-De La Hoya fight, super-excited Jim Lampley spends two hours shadowboxing in front of mirror December 6th, 2008
  • Sean Avery calls Bettman a "stinkypants crapface" December 5th, 2008
  • Longhorns face difficult road to national championship December 5th, 2008
  • Kiffin "amazingly lame" for such a young coach December 4th, 2008
  • BCS chief: We’ll try and have a national champ in place by April at the latest December 4th, 2008
  • Man in danger of losing family after 23rd straight fantasy loss December 3rd, 2008
  • Texans-Jaguars game was actually played Monday, contrary to reports December 2nd, 2008
  • Kiffin to quit as Vols coach: "My work here is almost done" December 2nd, 2008
  • Man spends entire afternoon figuring out how Andre Johnson can score 37.4 points in fantasy December 1st, 2008
  • Hampton injures himself while signing contract December 1st, 2008
  • Plaxico attempts "shot therapy" to get back into lineup December 1st, 2008
  • Pacman to Ditka: "From my cold, dead hands!" December 1st, 2008
  • Kornheiser spends most Sunday nights sleeping in a Dumpster December 1st, 2008
  • Roger Goodell Pardons Culpepper November 30th, 2008
  • Tony Romo declares he’s "really into ginger ale" November 29th, 2008
  • Vick pleads guilty, sentenced to four years as Lions QB November 27th, 2008
  • A-Rod and Madonna schedule Xmas party for the night before Jeter’s November 27th, 2008
  • Allen Iverson’s music tastes causing problems in Pistons locker room November 26th, 2008
  • Lions thinking about drafting a receiver with the first pick in the draft November 26th, 2008
  • Newly carbon-neutral Dolphins to use Joey Porter’s hot air to power stadium November 26th, 2008
  • Kobe Bryant and Vanessa Bryant accidentally have a date arranged for them by AshleyMadison.com November 25th, 2008
  • Obama hopes to bring an NBA team to Washington DC November 25th, 2008
  • Feds plan Tiger Woods bailout following cancellation of GM deal November 25th, 2008
  • Siragusa’s neck found in New Jersey strip club November 25th, 2008
  • Entire Texas Tech football team kidnapped, being held for ransom November 24th, 2008
  • Ocho Cinco says willingness to be deactivated shows he’s a team player November 24th, 2008
  • Man buys wife $179.99 Cole Hamels replica jersey for birthday November 24th, 2008
  • After studying rule book for entire second half, McNabb an expert on "free kicks" November 24th, 2008
  • Lions sign Fox NFL Robot to shore up defense November 23rd, 2008
  • Jeff Garcia not thrilled about being player’s association gay rep November 23rd, 2008
  • Following tie, Andy Reid seen making out with sister November 23rd, 2008
  • Former Vick dog busted for public urination November 23rd, 2008
  • After embarrassing loss to Syracuse, furious Notre Dame demotes Charlie Weis to be head coach of Syracuse November 22nd, 2008
  • Michigan’s Rodriguez: "You were serious about how much you want to beat Ohio State?" November 22nd, 2008
  • Man basically staring at Cole Hamels’ Wikipedia page all day November 22nd, 2008
  • Ryan Howard is nailing chicks as if he won the MVP November 21st, 2008
  • 2012 London Olympics to be made in China November 21st, 2008
  • Obama to spend entire day Friday giving sports advice to others November 21st, 2008
  • Madsen seen checking out a Playboy magazine at Los Angeles Public Library November 20th, 2008
  • Obama proposes playoff to determine Secretary of State; Hillary Clinton slated for the play-in game November 20th, 2008
  • Brady Quinn voted NFL’s "prettiest player" for tenth week in a row November 20th, 2008
  • Syracuse thinking about signing Matt Millen as football coach November 20th, 2008
  • Pedroia making Youkilis carry his MVP award around November 19th, 2008
  • Stern attributes dress code to increase in quality of crime November 19th, 2008
  • SEC decides Cuban’s punishment: he must purchase the Chicago Cubs November 19th, 2008
  • McNabb also didn’t know what to do with weird brown thingamajig November 19th, 2008
  • Confused voters mistakenly choose Pedroia as MVP November 19th, 2008
  • Pujols told he’s MVP — responds, "Of the Cardinals?" November 18th, 2008
  • Cuban confused NBA with real-life, lawyers assert November 18th, 2008
  • Yankees fax offer to Sabathia who promptly eats it November 18th, 2008
  • McNabb makes startling admission, then announces candidacy for President of the United States in 2012 November 18th, 2008
  • Scientists use carbon dating to determine Oden’s age November 17th, 2008
  • Melrose fired by Lightning; mullet to coach team for rest of year November 15th, 2008
  • Father of four asks Danny Fortson for autograph in T.G.I.Friday’s November 15th, 2008
  • Lane Kiffin takes HR job with Santa Clara dot-com November 14th, 2008
  • Dolphins petition Supreme Court to end NFL season early so they finish with a winning record November 13th, 2008
  • D’Antoni calls Obama to thank him for Marbury’s sudden change in attitude November 13th, 2008
  • Gilbert Arenas renting out his house on Craigslist during Inauguration Week November 13th, 2008
  • 6-1 Hawks move up in Atlanta basketball power rankings November 13th, 2008
  • Favre and Belichick to create douchebag magnet Sunday; expected to lure thousands to Foxboro November 12th, 2008
  • Lebron James taking Thursday off to get out the vote November 12th, 2008
  • Cy Young winner Lincecum anticipating severe dehydration and flulike symptoms tomorrow November 12th, 2008
  • Jaws totally drank from Kornheiser’s soda last night; "Act of War," says Kornheiser November 11th, 2008
  • God actually went to bed before Kurt Warner thanked him in post-game interview November 11th, 2008
  • Bush tells Obama which channel ESPN is at the White House November 11th, 2008
  • Chase Utley erupts in profanity during charity bingo night at retirement home November 10th, 2008
  • Texas Tech fan totally fakes out God and jinxes Penn State November 8th, 2008
  • Furious Palin demands recount after learning about "Golden State" while watching NBA November 8th, 2008
  • Vinny del Negro basically plagiarizing Obama’s victory speech at halftime of every game November 8th, 2008
  • Penn State drops to tenth in the BCS standings after crappy practice November 6th, 2008
  • McCain’s shuffleboard superstition proves unsuccessful November 6th, 2008
  • Tim Duncan writes-in Ron Paul November 4th, 2008
  • Favre calls McCain, tells him how to beat Obama November 4th, 2008
  • Bowden puts out a hit on JoePa November 1st, 2008
  • Rich Rodriguez thought he could bring his old team with him to Michigan, was wrong October 31st, 2008
  • Philly fans ready to be extra spiteful toward Donovan McNabb on Sunday October 31st, 2008
  • Oden to dress up as NBA player for Halloween October 31st, 2008
  • Association with Daly may ruin family-friendly image, Hooters’ managers fear October 30th, 2008
  • Browns players suffering as groupies refuse sexual favors due to locker room conditions October 30th, 2008
  • Joe Buck arrested outside of B.J. Upton’s hotel room holding a boombox over his head blaring Peter Gabriel’s "In Your Eyes" October 30th, 2008
  • Obama uses entire half-hour infomercial to talk about Cole Hamels October 29th, 2008
  • Poll conducted by Zambrano shows Zambrano as NL MVP October 29th, 2008
  • Rays ask MLB to refund costs of non-refundable plane tickets October 29th, 2008
  • Londoners have absolutely no clue what happened in last 20 seconds of NFL game October 29th, 2008
  • Without irony, McCarver refers to Buck as ‘pompous’ October 28th, 2008
  • BJ Upton plans on stealing 900 bases next year October 28th, 2008
  • Selig formally thanks Hamels for not stopping the rain October 28th, 2008
  • Joe Biden out 7-10 days with high ankle sprain October 27th, 2008
  • Evan Longoria afraid of spiders, snakes, and World Series October 27th, 2008
  • Singletary looks up "interim," is shocked October 27th, 2008
  • Local patent attorney flips out over Anderson Silva comments by coworker October 27th, 2008
  • Isiah Thomas clears up cover-up controversy: "It was actually Barack Obama" October 26th, 2008
  • B.J. Upton steals three bases and Joe Buck’s heart October 26th, 2008
  • Rays ask ump if they can pay invoice in installments because of tough economy October 25th, 2008
  • Evan Royster preparing to be a horrible, god-awful, embarrassment as a pro October 24th, 2008
  • Palin’s clothing spree includes $84,000 worth of Chad Johnson jerseys October 24th, 2008
  • LT admits he can find London on a map, is derided by teammates October 23rd, 2008
  • Local man goes "slumpbusting" to end bad streak at work; wife is furious October 22nd, 2008
  • Tampa sports fans in a tizzy about the start of the Lightning season October 22nd, 2008
  • Paris Hilton keeps asking boyfriend Benji Madden for tickets to World Series October 22nd, 2008
  • Rays forfeit first game of World Series October 20th, 2008
  • Favre apologizes for behavior, shares Packers playbook with everyone October 20th, 2008
  • Petulant Favre writes his name on all of his groceries in family fridge October 20th, 2008
  • Local man catches self accidentally rooting for Red Sox; pukes on new couch October 17th, 2008
  • Rays heading to Tampa for game one of World Series anyway October 17th, 2008
  • Joe Torre abandons Chad Billingsley in Nebraska October 16th, 2008
  • Phillies extend Hamels with an 28-year, $937 million contract October 16th, 2008
  • Derek Anderson settles vendetta against fan, will resume being a good quarterback October 16th, 2008
  • TO: "Roy Williams and I will be the perfect couple" October 15th, 2008
  • Cowboys desperately trying to hire Roy Williams as coach October 15th, 2008
  • Red Sox hoping to trade for a big bat for the rest of the postseason, like Manny Ramirez October 15th, 2008
  • INS raids ESPN Deportes October 15th, 2008
  • Adam Jones actually didn’t realize what "zero tolerance" meant October 14th, 2008
  • Red Sox "exhaustion plan" working to perfection October 14th, 2008
  • Defiant atheist continues to use the term ‘Devil Rays’ October 13th, 2008
  • Vitale so excited about the Rays that he’s just walking around yelling all the time and saying these ridiculous phrases October 12th, 2008
  • Hockey players fight over politics with Palin in attendance October 12th, 2008
  • Mayor of Poughkeepsie invites Cole Hamels to son’s wedding October 10th, 2008
  • Oden misses first preseason game with temporary blindness following 50th birthday party October 10th, 2008
  • Zambrano to take statistics at Northwestern October 10th, 2008
  • Hockey blogger gets record traffic on first day of NHL season October 9th, 2008
  • God apologizes to Jews for scheduling Yom Kippur during Hamels start October 9th, 2008
  • Alexander Ovechkin tells family he’s going on extended business trip (again) October 9th, 2008
  • B.J. Upton benched for remainder of playoffs for lack of hustle during post-game celebration October 8th, 2008
  • Harold Reynolds eliminated from playoffs October 8th, 2008
  • Burress was in DC last week helping on bailout plan October 8th, 2008
  • Yankee stadium to be destroyed with 55,000 Yankee fans inside October 6th, 2008
  • Florida Marlins apply to Extreme Home Makeover October 6th, 2008
  • Sabathia loses control; weight expected to balloon. October 6th, 2008
  • Bush convenes Congress to figure out who he should start between LT2, Ronnie Brown, and Frank Gore October 4th, 2008
  • Cubs infielders mad at Zambrano for inducing so many groundballs October 3rd, 2008
  • Colts would like Peyton Manning to be a little more folksy, like Sarah Palin October 3rd, 2008
  • Sarah Palin told Travis Henry that selling cocaine was legal October 2nd, 2008
  • Philadelphia fan commits ritual suicide after dominant start by Cole Hamels October 2nd, 2008
  • Angry Al Davis to run for President October 2nd, 2008
  • Jeter preparing for October by buying tickets online October 1st, 2008
  • Bush leaving work early to watch MLB playoffs October 1st, 2008
  • Carlos Zambrano tells teammates he would’ve voted against bailout plan October 1st, 2008
  • Gardenhire wants to go double or nothing; Guillen reluctant September 30th, 2008
  • Detroit Shock wins third consecutive WNBA title, according to eyewitness account September 30th, 2008
  • Brewers have Sabathia throw a 180-pitch side session Tuesday September 30th, 2008
  • Delmon Young apparently thinks today’s game decides the World Series championship September 30th, 2008
  • White Sox’ Ozzie Guillen proposes to "swap teams" with Twins’ Ron Gardenhire September 26th, 2008
  • McCain wants to postpone debate until fantasy baseball season is over September 26th, 2008
  • Pete Carroll: "Our players make way too much money to lose to a team like Oregon State" September 26th, 2008
  • Millen joins McCain campaign September 25th, 2008
  • Palin hoping for a lot of snow machine racing questions at VP debate September 25th, 2008
  • Josh Howard refuses to bow to Queen of England September 25th, 2008
  • McCain makes waiver claim on Paul Hornung September 25th, 2008
  • Selig proposes plan to make things right with Astros September 25th, 2008
  • Clay Aiken admits he loves hockey September 24th, 2008
  • Missouri legislature promotes Mizzou to NFL; removes Chiefs and Rams September 24th, 2008
  • Evangelicals take credit for Tampa Bay playoff berth September 24th, 2008
  • Josh Howard joins Al-Qaeda September 23rd, 2008
  • Jeremy Shockey to miss 4-6 weeks with penis chapping September 23rd, 2008
  • Favres forgot to cancel Monday Night Football party September 22nd, 2008
  • Selig to Astros: "Stop complaining, or I’ll make you play the entire 2009 season in Montreal." September 22nd, 2008
  • Azinger favorite to be next coach of Oakland Raiders September 22nd, 2008
  • Sheffield and Ventura join same Facebook group September 22nd, 2008
  • Patriots sign Manning September 20th, 2008
  • Brock Lesnar inks UFC contract to fight himself September 20th, 2008
  • Big Brown becomes analyst with NBC September 20th, 2008
  • Tom Brady retired to stud September 18th, 2008
  • Local man can’t quite explain why he wants to see Chris Cooley’s schlong so badly September 17th, 2008
  • TO declares Monday night performance "best three-catch game ever in NFL history" September 17th, 2008
  • Turns out Cooley masturbates fully clothed September 16th, 2008
  • Bettman thrilled that Sarah Palin keeps mentioning hockey September 16th, 2008
  • Jeff Garcia to miss today’s game with sore ankle, limp wrist September 14th, 2008
  • Palin skips interview prep to play Big Buck Hunter September 14th, 2008
  • NBA to PETA: "Tell me how my ass tastes" September 14th, 2008
  • Matt Cassel prays science experiment ends world before Sunday September 11th, 2008
  • Lance Armstrong goes for bike ride in France, ends up unretired September 11th, 2008
  • LPGA rewrites English-only rules September 10th, 2008
  • LANCE ARMSTRONG ASSUMED THE TOUR DE FRANCE WAS CANCELED IN HIS ABSENCE September 10th, 2008
  • Tom Brady’s rehab plan is basically to bang a bunch of supermodels September 10th, 2008
  • Boston sports fans gear up for hockey season September 10th, 2008
  • Co-worker won’t shut up about picking Michael Turner in the 10th round September 9th, 2008
  • Man decides to give fantasy hockey "a try" September 9th, 2008
  • Irate Bostonian attacks roommate over Brady injury September 9th, 2008
  • Serena Williams takes title at U.S. Open; rips apart adult grizzly bear September 8th, 2008
  • Vince Young demands immediate and sincere apology from every Tennessee Titans fan in the universe before he goes back on the field September 8th, 2008
  • White Sox star Carlos Quentin injured while being treated for injury September 8th, 2008
  • Chinese gymnasts looking forward to high school September 8th, 2008
  • Shawne Merriman cleared to play after fifth opinion from Dr. Dre September 5th, 2008
  • Sarah Palin eats Scott Boras’s soul, becomes nicer September 4th, 2008
  • Lee Corso puts on Nick Saban’s head when making prediction September 4th, 2008
  • St. Louis Cardinals bench Matt Leinart September 4th, 2008
  • Man accidentally takes fiance to Nats/Phillies game on "Cole Hamels nails every chick in the place" night September 3rd, 2008
  • Brady, Moss caught playing ‘Screw, Marry, Kill’ with Lynch, O’Neal, and Hobbs September 2nd, 2008
  • Patriots post “Curb Alert” for Lynch on Craigslist September 2nd, 2008
  • Man sends wife passive-aggressive trade offers in fantasy league following domestic dispute August 31st, 2008
  • Papelbon changes intro song from "Wild Thing" to "I Kissed a Girl" August 31st, 2008
  • Thomas absolutely wrecking Edwards in WordTwist on Facebook August 29th, 2008
  • Todd Jones cries and hugs men; teammates say it was "really gay" August 29th, 2008
  • Sports reporter writes column blasting himself after referring to himself in third person August 29th, 2008
  • Probation for Busch, Edwards finally gives NASCAR fans some excitement August 29th, 2008
  • MLB mandates all players must speak Spanish August 29th, 2008
  • Jay Mariotti quits Sun-Times, life August 29th, 2008
  • New York teen unimpressed with "Redeem Team" victory August 29th, 2008
  • Ramirez only now realizes that the Dodgers didn’t give him number 69 August 28th, 2008
  • Jay Cutler makes surprise appearance at Democratic National Convention August 28th, 2008
  • Pretty much every stripper in New Orleans wants to get nailed by Jeremy Shockey August 28th, 2008
  • Satan to Yankees fans: "It’s out of my hands" August 28th, 2008
  • Man mistakenly thinks he’s sitting next to John Juanda on a plane August 27th, 2008
  • Strahan stays retired, wants his check for $25 million ASAP August 27th, 2008
  • Obama asks to have fantasy football draft rescheduled for third time August 27th, 2008
  • Olympics rocked by another age scandal August 27th, 2008
  • Passing of trade deadline allows President Bush to focus more on politics August 26th, 2008
  • Ann Curry annoying friends, family, country by referring to Olympics as "Games of the 29th Olympiad" August 26th, 2008
  • Costas’s kids to get playing cards, t-shirts from airport gift shop August 26th, 2008
  • Women’s gymnastics top-rated program among men 34-55 fitting FBI pedophile profile August 26th, 2008
  • Piazza apparently retired some time ago August 25th, 2008
  • Rockies’ Taveras disappointed about possible demotion August 25th, 2008
  • Paul impresses with genuine interest in other cultures during Olympics August 25th, 2008
  • DataTec "Work Olympics" an enormous failure August 25th, 2008
  • Stuart Scott seeking advanced degree in hopes of jumpstarting career August 22nd, 2008
  • Upton joins basketball league to burn excess energy August 22nd, 2008
  • Sabathia credits Boss for NL dominance August 22nd, 2008
  • Major conflict brewing between women’s field hockey and water polo teams August 21st, 2008
  • Drew’s lingering back problems result of carrying team in June August 21st, 2008
  • Toronto fans confused to see Buffalo and Pittsburgh play football, not hockey August 21st, 2008
  • Johnson injures mouth, mute 3-4 weeks August 20th, 2008
  • ESPN exploring new frontiers in poker coverage August 20th, 2008
  • Anthony on China: Everyone is talking "crazy talk" August 20th, 2008
  • Baseball owners want to use instant replay to review Selig hiring August 19th, 2008
  • BJ Upton wets himself due to lack of hustle August 19th, 2008
  • Instead of cutting hair, Ramirez to wear new, technologically advanced Speedo suit August 18th, 2008
  • Kelton family Olympics marred by doping scandal August 18th, 2008
  • Pedro Gomez still inexplicably standing outside Bonds’ house August 15th, 2008
  • Gasol on photo controversy: "You should’ve seen our other ideas!" August 15th, 2008
  • 2012 Olympics to include sports other than swimming, gymnastics August 14th, 2008
  • Favre surprised, hurt that he’s not on McCain VP short list August 14th, 2008
  • Tour de France reportedly over, someone presumably won August 14th, 2008
  • Olympic swimmer Phelps has water in ear, ends quest for history August 14th, 2008
  • Astros put down El Caballo August 13th, 2008
  • Singing Chinese girl revealed to be computer generated August 13th, 2008
  • Chipper Jones to miss rest of softball season with strained oblique August 13th, 2008
  • Tarvaris Jackson constantly nonplussed August 13th, 2008
  • Joba will be on smaller, more strict pitch count when activated August 13th, 2008
  • Woman loses wedding ring in pocket when she meets James, Paul in Beijing August 12th, 2008
  • Rodgers asked for autograph for first time ever August 12th, 2008
  • Bush learns that waterboarding is not an Olympic sport August 12th, 2008
  • Artemev refused to compete unless carried off by Karolyi August 12th, 2008
  • Sabathia-Fielder combo devastating to Milwaukee buffet owners August 12th, 2008
  • Woods returns from vacation to find 423 voicemails from PGA commissioner August 11th, 2008
  • Dodgers to force Andruw Jones to take steroids August 11th, 2008
  • John Edwards admits to cheating in fantasy baseball league August 11th, 2008
  • Lezak outduels Bernard in Beijing lunchroom August 11th, 2008
  • 1992 Dream Teamer to join 2008 Olympic basketball team August 10th, 2008
  • Phelps fails to qualify for NASCAR race August 9th, 2008
  • Announcer carefully studying what he can say about female gymnasts without seeming like a total pervert August 8th, 2008
  • Bob Costas is so fucking stoked right now that you have no idea August 8th, 2008
  • PGA invites Ramirez, Favre to gain extra coverage August 8th, 2008
  • ESPN scrambling for Wednesday programming August 7th, 2008
  • Harden invites teammates to view WALL-E August 6th, 2008
  • Chicagoans still suffering from storm August 6th, 2008
  • "Manny being Manny" excuse infuriating to mother of 13-year-old Long Island boy August 6th, 2008
  • Fielder shoves woman for walking out of <em>The Dark Knight</em> before the end August 5th, 2008
  • Zambrano used stunt double Sunday so he could attend Lollapalooza August 5th, 2008
  • Packers hire Steve Smith to work with Favre upon arrival at camp August 4th, 2008
  • Ramirez plans to become gay porn star August 4th, 2008
  • Ken Griffey tears hamstring August 1st, 2008
  • Disgruntled Manny Ramirez demands trade from Dodgers August 1st, 2008
  • Rodgers offers to not play for only $15 million July 31st, 2008
  • Jones makes diving catch in softball game while on DL July 30th, 2008
  • Epstein unable to deal with new Red Sox IT system July 30th, 2008
  • Minaya focusing on fantasy team more than Mets July 29th, 2008
  • Manny Ramirez always rounds up July 28th, 2008
  • Apparently there is some big bike race going on in Europe right now July 27th, 2008
  • Twins give Liriano ultimatum July 26th, 2008
  • Brewers cut Braun, Torres July 25th, 2008
  • Marlins cancel shuttle July 25th, 2008
  • McCarver: I almost made it July 25th, 2008
  • WNBA brawl punishments meted out July 24th, 2008
  • Confused Shockey thinks he was traded to the Dolphins July 22nd, 2008
  • Cynth-Rod accuses Madonna of tampering July 21st, 2008
  • Parcells swayed by 2010 sixth-rounder July 21st, 2008
  • Reporter hopes to get Pulitzer for coverage of Favre’s cell communications July 18th, 2008
  • Packers embroiled in retirement controversy July 18th, 2008
  • NFL not looking for gang signs July 17th, 2008
  • Cole Hamels would have pitched the 16^th for NL July 17th, 2008
  • Favre to return in new role July 17th, 2008
  • Pennsylvania small-business owner furious with National League July 16th, 2008
  • Curmudgeons unite over Packer firing July 15th, 2008
  • Waxman to look into competitive eating scandal July 14th, 2008
  • PETA protests Favre’s return July 14th, 2008
  • Jones left behind after team picnic July 14th, 2008
  • Eva Longoria thrilled to be voted in to the All-Star Game July 13th, 2008
  • 80’s singer Corey Hart wins online All-Star vote July 13th, 2008
  • Bob Gibson to stage Cardinals comeback July 12th, 2008
  • Steroid prices to reach all-time high as demand increases July 11th, 2008
  • Chipper Jones softball team wins first game of season July 11th, 2008
  • Marlins launch eco-friendly team shuttle July 10th, 2008
  • Scandal rocks hot dog eating contest July 10th, 2008
  • Scratched DVD added to AL All-Stars July 10th, 2008
  • Rays’ Maddon hailed as Second Coming July 10th, 2008
  • Nets fans disappointed about 2010-11 Finals loss July 9th, 2008
  • CC Sabathia confused by new nickname July 8th, 2008
  • More of Favre’s phone activities revealed July 8th, 2008
  • Sabathia settles Brewers rotation debate by eating Sheets July 8th, 2008
  • SSNN forced to pull A-Rod story when it actually becomes true July 8th, 2008
  • Cynthia Rodriguez seeking half in divorce filing July 7th, 2008
  • Source: Sabathia demanded trade to Milwaukee July 7th, 2008
  • Changes in store for All-Star Game July 7th, 2008
  • Francouer’s arrival to AA Mississippi delayed for two days by holiday beach traffic July 6th, 2008
  • David Stern stunned to learn the Sonics are moving to Oklahoma City July 6th, 2008
  • Nadal proposes that Wimbledon final renamed, played in a better location July 5th, 2008
  • Entire NFL outsourced to Africa in cost-cutting move July 5th, 2008
  • Randy Moss wants his NASCAR team to increase "rims" budget July 4th, 2008
  • Venus and Serena Williams inspirational for six-foot tall African-American multi-millionaire women everywhere July 4th, 2008
  • Federer tears ACL July 4th, 2008
  • Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez end marriage on technicality July 3rd, 2008
  • Overly nice human being Chase Utley withdraws self from All-Star Game July 3rd, 2008
  • Spanish fans vow to "try harder" after killing only one during victory celebration July 3rd, 2008
  • Clemens receives a record 15 ESPY nominations July 3rd, 2008
  • ESPN unveils latest summer gimmick: "Who’s Porno Hot?" July 2nd, 2008
  • "Devastated" Jair Jurrjens reacts to trade by ruthless fantasy owner July 2nd, 2008
  • "Giant" Costas enjoying trips to China in preparation for the Olympic Games July 1st, 2008
  • Walton hospitalized following overdose on psychedelic albums July 1st, 2008
  • Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes June 30th, 2008
  • Manny looking to alleviate summer boredom June 30th, 2008
  • Rangers to sponsor "Josh Hamilton Night" in Arlington June 30th, 2008
  • A-Rod’s heart touched by Katy Perry single June 30th, 2008
  • Harrison seeks legal advice from Lewis, Simpson June 29th, 2008
  • Twins defect to NL, lead West division by four games June 28th, 2008
  • Jay-Z knocks out Vitale June 27th, 2008
  • Chacon gets contract with UFC June 27th, 2008
  • O’Neal-for-Ford trade actually not a joke June 26th, 2008
  • A-Rod refuses to eat clubhouse food after Betemit double-dip June 26th, 2008
  • Reconstructive mojo repair successful for Tiger June 26th, 2008
  • Tom Brady, Sr. having trouble picking out son’s birthday gift June 26th, 2008
  • Woman who actually knows how Shaq’s ass tastes paid not to tell anyone June 25th, 2008
  • Reinsdorf on coach: "We’re still looking" June 25th, 2008
  • MRI discovers beer bottles, license plate in Youkilis’ beard June 25th, 2008
  • "Boston Madge" keeps championship train rolling through Boston June 25th, 2008
  • Shaq claims skewed media coverage of freestyle rap June 24th, 2008
  • Major League managers pay tribute to Carlin June 24th, 2008
  • Bradley dotting I’s with hearts in attempt to soften image June 24th, 2008
  • Randolph disappointed with Obama June 23rd, 2008
  • Schilling’s shoulder to have own blog June 23rd, 2008
  • Mariners hope to replace Sexson with Moose June 23rd, 2008
  • Dunn reveals relation to Paul Bunyan June 23rd, 2008
  • Tiger "heartbroken" over missing Ryder Cup June 22nd, 2008
  • Gaston demands Ricciardi sign Olerud, Henderson, Alomar, Stieb June 21st, 2008
  • Cubs accidentally fire Lou Piniella June 20th, 2008
  • New M’s skipper begging Sexson, Silva to leave June 20th, 2008
  • Randolph stunned to see that it becomes dark when the sun goes down June 20th, 2008
  • Yankees accidentally allow Chamberlain to finish his dinner June 20th, 2008
  • Pearl to open jewelry store June 19th, 2008
  • Olympic basketball team hoping Kidd will help avoid gold June 19th, 2008
  • NBA announces hiring of WWE refs June 19th, 2008
  • Mets chairman denies involvement with team June 19th, 2008
  • Pierce injures leg, unable to take out garbage June 18th, 2008
  • Bulls lobbying NBA for more time June 18th, 2008
  • Satan to lead Celtics victory parade, collect on debt of souls June 18th, 2008
  • Extra 10% in oft-used sports cliché discovered to be steroids June 18th, 2008
  • Konerko heads to DL, Chicago rejoices June 17th, 2008
  • PGA to require Tiger’s leg be amputated "for the good of the game" June 17th, 2008
  • Specter begins investigation into National Spelling Bee June 17th, 2008
  • Celtics’ bandwagon collapses under immense weight June 17th, 2008
  • Bruce bests Tiger in friendly match play round June 17th, 2008
  • Steinbrenner suing MLB in wake of Wang injury June 16th, 2008
  • World Poker Tour announces new "All-In" version June 16th, 2008
  • Steinbrenner suing MLB in wake of Wang injury June 16th, 2008
  • Yankees to headline writers: Stop playing with our Wang June 16th, 2008
  • Mets set booing records during Sunday doubleheader June 16th, 2008
  • Underweight benchwarmer admits to steroid use June 16th, 2008
  • Stern maintains no criminal acts by NBA referees June 15th, 2008
  • Johnson admits he just doesn’t know how to tie his shoes June 15th, 2008
  • Kobe demanding trade again after Game 4 loss June 14th, 2008
  • Five people expected to attend "Battle of Florida" June 13th, 2008
  • Adam Scott missing after first round of U.S. Open June 13th, 2008
  • Italian team unprepared for Toni’s real injury June 13th, 2008
  • NASCAR, horse racing to merge June 13th, 2008
  • Wagner ironically unable to blow out candle in cupcake June 12th, 2008
  • Electronic Arts announces recall, delayed release of NBA Live ‘09 June 12th, 2008
  • Mayweather still insists he’s retired June 12th, 2008
  • Actress Milano expected to break Ripken streak June 12th, 2008
  • Chicago’s newest sex symbol – Sweet Lou June 11th, 2008
  • Ken Griffey, Jr. reaches 600 June 11th, 2008
  • Astros to add new attractions to Minute Maid Park June 11th, 2008
  • Pierce says wheelchair is his normal mode of transportation June 10th, 2008
  • Jackson, Lakers practice excuses June 10th, 2008
  • Benson to enroll in flight school after latest arrest, release from Bears June 10th, 2008
  • Rays thought they were drafting different Beckham June 10th, 2008
  • Shields suspend self for "girly punches" following Rays-Red Sox brawl June 9th, 2008
  • Powe’s production no surprise to friends, teammates June 9th, 2008
  • Waxman literally has nothing else to do June 9th, 2008
  • Michael Phelps ecstatic to be relevant again June 9th, 2008
  • Don Zimmer panics, frantically calls friends in New York after watching <i>Cloverfield</i> June 9th, 2008
  • Bird, Magic emphasize they are not playing in this year’s Finals June 8th, 2008
  • Confused Yankees show up at World Series of Poker June 7th, 2008
  • Teased for his name as a foal, Big Brown has final whinny June 7th, 2008
  • Crisp to file sexual harassment suit against Navarro June 6th, 2008
  • Stanley Cup confiscated by airport security June 6th, 2008
  • Zumaya throws 150 mph change-up, poised for return June 6th, 2008
  • Eight Belles to be uniquely commemorated at Belmont June 6th, 2008
  • Jones upset that Texas ‘looks nothing’ like Hawaii June 5th, 2008
  • Stern to Spurs: no conspiracy, just evened numbered year June 5th, 2008
  • Jets can’t decide which weak-armed QB should start June 5th, 2008
  • Celtics have "secret" weapon against Lakers June 5th, 2008
  • Malone breaks nose during post-game press conference June 4th, 2008
  • Soriano hoping to buy AT&T Park’s enormous glove June 4th, 2008
  • Guillen says "fuck it," pencils self into lineup June 4th, 2008
  • Sharapova’s screams cause Louvre Pyramid to shatter June 3rd, 2008
  • Dusty Baker benches Bruce, Bailey June 3rd, 2008
  • M.I.T. prof discovers equation to determine real age of Dominican players June 3rd, 2008
  • Bruce doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about June 2nd, 2008
  • Hundreds of Red Wings fans hospitalized June 2nd, 2008
  • Phone companies report record call volume over Joba May 30th, 2008
  • Ginobili’s career in question May 30th, 2008
  • Taylor offers to teach Parcells to dance May 29th, 2008
  • Wallace T’d up at breakfast, suspended for Game 6 May 29th, 2008
  • ESPN shuts down after running out of hair care products May 28th, 2008
  • Federer fighting through allergies to clay, the French May 28th, 2008
  • Henry contemplating retirement after receiving hefty economic stimulus check May 28th, 2008
  • Big Brown getting cocky, making enemies May 28th, 2008
  • Popovich cancels Spurs practice May 27th, 2008
  • Navratilova also considering Playboy offer May 27th, 2008
  • Randolph gets vote of confidence from Mets brass May 27th, 2008
  • Suns future in doubt after Shaq steps on Nash May 27th, 2008
  • Noah too high to understand charges against son May 27th, 2008
  • Pujols adds insult to injury May 24th, 2008
  • BoSox starting rotation to work out at toxic waste dump May 23rd, 2008
  • Convicted steroids dealer admits supplying Kurkjian, Clayton May 23rd, 2008
  • Big Brown to race Belmont Stakes backwards May 23rd, 2008
  • Padres management "not that upset" after Pujols injures entire team May 22nd, 2008
  • Dolphins may hold dance contest to lure Taylor back May 22nd, 2008
  • Pedro challenges Don Zimmer to UFC fight May 22nd, 2008
  • Stern denies funny business in Draft Lottery May 21st, 2008
  • Giambi also enjoys wearing bra, high heels May 21st, 2008
  • Jeter, Giambi claim thong sharing part of <i>Sex in the City</i> promotion May 20th, 2008
  • Roddick finds way to avoid first-round upset May 20th, 2008
  • Celtics attribute recent road woes to absence of Garnett nightlight, lucky blanket May 20th, 2008
  • MLB establishment, press, fans all excited about AL East expansion May 20th, 2008
  • Belichick also misinterpreted the rules of marriage May 19th, 2008
  • After hot start, Cubs brace for inevitably tough times May 18th, 2008
  • Preakness to euthanize all non-winning horses on track May 17th, 2008
  • D’Antoni "can’t wait" to work with Marbury May 16th, 2008
  • Specter wants Walsh indicted for teasing May 16th, 2008
  • Kitna predicts Lions will win Super Bowl, end world hunger May 15th, 2008
  • Bonds indictment changed to include head growth, testicle shrinkage May 15th, 2008
  • Sports media run ad, admit they forgot about Beckham May 14th, 2008
  • Dallas radio personality alleges Wings equipped with strategically placed rockets May 14th, 2008
  • Cubs to sell stadium, team, fans as package deal May 14th, 2008
  • Mayor of New Orleans didn’t know Hornets were in playoffs May 14th, 2008
  • Man arrested for sending threatening letters to NFL players May 13th, 2008
  • Matt Walsh turns over tape showing Belichick in Darth Vader mask May 13th, 2008
  • Buckeyes eyeing another BCS Championship thrashing May 12th, 2008
  • NL Central teams petition to have games ended after eight innings May 12th, 2008
  • Cowell receives surprising position at ESPN May 10th, 2008
  • Zimmerman’s success traced to Craigslist May 10th, 2008
  • Harrison admits to vigilante activities May 9th, 2008
  • Neuheisel, Carroll engage in wrestling match over recruit May 8th, 2008
  • Horses attack jockeys with whips May 8th, 2008
  • Benson says arrest is part of training program May 7th, 2008
  • Clemens issues denial of future allegations May 7th, 2008
  • Mickelson misses his breasts, will get implants May 7th, 2008
  • Cops say Benson is surprisingly easy to take down May 6th, 2008
  • Tejada delivers on promise to hit home run for 34 year old boy May 6th, 2008
  • Spurs forced to destroy Bonner after ankle injury May 6th, 2008
  • San Diego Padres two-hit by local high school team May 6th, 2008
  • Raiders determined not to let McFadden interfere with 2009 draft plans May 5th, 2008
  • Crean sees progress in player’s arrest May 5th, 2008
  • Zambrano pre-orders Wii Fit May 3rd, 2008
  • Raiders can’t find Warren Sapp, are concerned May 2nd, 2008
  • Favre’s Madden cover appearance ensures injury-plagued retirement May 2nd, 2008
  • Cubs finally allow Fukudome’s interpreter to reveal 100-year title drought May 1st, 2008
  • Canseco claims to have injected Barbaro and Seabiscuit with HGH May 1st, 2008
  • Cuban loses control, fires self April 30th, 2008
  • Brewers’ mediocre play leading Uecker to drink again April 30th, 2008
  • Police find body frozen underneath ice at Joe Louis Arena April 30th, 2008
  • Bryant banned from Denver hotels, finds cute B&B April 30th, 2008
  • Dallas strip clubs arm security in anticipation of Pacman’s arrival April 29th, 2008
  • Marlins take steps to draw fewer fans April 29th, 2008
  • Cuban trying to reverse Kidd trade before Game Five April 29th, 2008
  • Zito taking aim at single-season loss record April 29th, 2008
  • EXCLUSIVE: Pittsburgh Pirates now hiring for all positions April 29th, 2008
  • League stunned by Howard’s admission April 28th, 2008
  • Chiefs’ GM arrested for drafting while intoxicated April 28th, 2008
  • Wizards win "Gayest Name in NBA" again April 28th, 2008
  • Local economic development professional boldly predicts 40-homer softball season April 28th, 2008
  • Walker selected in fourth and seventh rounds of draft April 28th, 2008
  • Mendenhall falls in draft after being blinded by Keyshawn Johnson’s outfit April 27th, 2008
  • Jerry Angelo spotted buying USA Sports Weekly at 7-11 April 26th, 2008
  • Mock draft administrator clearly a virgin April 26th, 2008
  • Pierce, Garnett auditioning new members for "Big 3" April 25th, 2008
  • Chad Johnson requests trade to Dallas April 25th, 2008
  • Chris Long, Jake Long plan identity switcheroo at draft April 25th, 2008
  • Mixed reactions for Cubs hot start April 25th, 2008
  • Karl vows to "put somebody on that Bryant kid" in Game Three April 25th, 2008
  • Dusty Baker promises to limit Cueto, Volquez, Bailey to 150 pitches per start April 24th, 2008
  • Cubs win 10,000^th meaningless game April 24th, 2008
  • Entire KU team declares for NBA draft April 24th, 2008
  • Raiders have special plans for McFadden April 24th, 2008
  • Celtics offer thanks to Atlanta for exhibition games April 24th, 2008
  • Bird threatens Pacers with short shorts, mustaches April 23rd, 2008
  • Jake Long demands trade from Dolphins April 23rd, 2008
  • Wallace, Pistons blame narcolepsy for loss April 23rd, 2008
  • Cubs fan leader fires back at Brennaman April 23rd, 2008
  • Skiles wakes up hungover, hopes he didn’t do anything stupid in Milwaukee on Monday April 22nd, 2008
  • Kournikova desperately trying to win April 22nd, 2008
  • Garnett apologizes to Celtics fans for "uncharacteristic" post-season performance April 22nd, 2008
  • Padres GM furious with MLB ruling April 22nd, 2008
  • Indiana residents surprised to learn that model drives racecars April 22nd, 2008
  • Tour de France to have "juicer" and "non-juicer" fields April 22nd, 2008
  • Nash shows up at Spurs practice April 21st, 2008
  • Rodriguez denies quad injury is attempt to be like Jeter April 21st, 2008
  • Hopkins and Calzhage probably fought in highly anticipated bout April 21st, 2008
  • P&G to sign Ronaldinho as spokesperson April 21st, 2008
  • Patrick looks forward to winning again in a couple years April 21st, 2008
  • Jones confident plans to "smoke myself retarded" won’t affect reinstatement April 20th, 2008
  • Long eager to follow in father’s footsteps April 19th, 2008
  • Tejada admits he’s actually 70-year-old former Dodger Manny Mota April 18th, 2008
  • OSU denies interviewing Self impersonators for head coaching vacancy April 18th, 2008
  • Jones accidentally files for reinstatement with IRS April 18th, 2008
  • Alexander forced to leave reunion April 18th, 2008
  • Youzhny files assault charges against self April 17th, 2008
  • Reds, cult suicidal after Cueto loss April 17th, 2008
  • Strip poker to be included in next WSoP event April 17th, 2008
  • MLB players urge Canseco to concentrate on family, hobbies instead of finishing new book April 17th, 2008
  • Kurkjian insists he’s never been kicked in the nuts April 16th, 2008
  • Calipari looking to practice free throws "at least once a week" April 16th, 2008
  • Fellow golfers recommend months, perhaps years of rest for Woods’ ailing knee April 16th, 2008
  • Fantasy baseball commish takes responsibility way too seriously April 15th, 2008
  • Chasing TV ratings, BASS fishermen to start using rifles April 15th, 2008
  • Herbstreit nominated for Sexiest ESPN Employee April 15th, 2008
  • Several Charlotte Bobcats considering turning pro April 15th, 2008
  • Dead cardinal, white sock found under Bartman’s seat at Wrigley April 15th, 2008
  • Anthony arrested for suspicion of driving under influence of Iverson April 14th, 2008
  • Tiger admits being intimidated by self on Masters Sunday April 14th, 2008
  • Construction workers find Schilling buried under new Yankee Stadium April 14th, 2008
  • Immelman given jacket, trophy meant for Tiger April 14th, 2008
  • IOC also strips Jones of steroids-induced mustache April 14th, 2008
  • Johnny Cueto anointed as savior, gives blind man sight April 13th, 2008
  • Steroid supplier planning to boycott Olympics April 12th, 2008
  • Doctors discover reason for Rome’s burning April 12th, 2008
  • Yanks lied about Jeter’s injury to protect "sex icon" status April 11th, 2008
  • Dibble convinced conspiracy led to Golden Tee tourney ouster April 11th, 2008
  • Demonstrator awarded gold medal by confused Olympics judges April 11th, 2008
  • Tigers distracted by ring sizing, party planning April 11th, 2008
  • MLB now using SurveyMonkey to conduct major rule changes April 10th, 2008
  • Edwards proposes players clean rooms, have nap time April 10th, 2008
  • Thomas vows to return Walsh’s calls eventually April 10th, 2008
  • Bear survives Zambrano attack April 10th, 2008
  • Parents furious over Astros’ syringe giveaway promotion April 10th, 2008
  • Vick’s prison coach eagerly awaits arrival of other NFL players April 10th, 2008
  • Johnson surprised to learn cheerleader he proposed to leaving Bengals April 9th, 2008
  • Eastern Conference teams vote to give playoff spots to West April 9th, 2008
  • Herschel Walker proud, resentful, confused, sleepy to carry Olympic torch April 9th, 2008
  • Favre upset that Doomsday projection precedes Hall induction April 9th, 2008
  • Olympic torch dropped into San Francisco Bay April 9th, 2008
  • Peavy vehemently denies using foreign substance, attributes performance to steroids April 9th, 2008
  • Martinez, Hampton to be euthanized after latest injuries April 8th, 2008
  • Broncos WR Brandon Marshall slips and injures self again April 8th, 2008
  • A-Rod teaching himself to switch hit with help of wife April 8th, 2008
  • Mattingly tapped for lead role in Magnum P.I. movie April 8th, 2008
  • Vick kicked off prison football team for dog fighting April 7th, 2008
  • Zambrano’s cats not taking to Cat Genie April 7th, 2008
  • Residents of Ohio town refusing to bathe in Michigan water April 7th, 2008
  • Leinart claims he always drinks out of bong April 7th, 2008
  • Bourn takes "green light" too literally, steals from teammates April 7th, 2008
  • Bill James’ head explodes; reveals he was a Cyborg April 6th, 2008
  • MIT simulation finds Self, Jayhawks on short end of stick April 5th, 2008
  • Men accidentally kiss after selecting Escobar at fantasy draft April 5th, 2008
  • Kapler can’t stop singing ‘Sunglasses at Night’ April 4th, 2008
  • Confused Noah cuts down nets after Bulls win April 4th, 2008
  • WNBA hopes to boost attendance with shirts/skins teams April 4th, 2008
  • Improved HGH test jeopardizes Olympics April 4th, 2008
  • Kiper, McShay to square off in MMA fight to settle draft beef April 3rd, 2008
  • Prostitute accused of involvement with NFL player fears reputation may be ruined April 3rd, 2008
  • NHL to get in on celeb dance craze, pair players with figure skaters April 3rd, 2008
  • Cardinals players, coaching staff outraged by Leinart party photos April 3rd, 2008
  • Escobar comes clean about injury April 3rd, 2008
  • Weis expecting big improvement from Irish April 2nd, 2008
  • Harvard archeologists uncover suspected Paterno fossil April 2nd, 2008
  • Anticipating future house arrests, Tank Johnson purchases mobile home for 2008 road games April 2nd, 2008
  • Elderly secretary’s confusion lands Lopez brothers at top of WNBA draft boards April 2nd, 2008
  • Gordon annoying teammates in wake of England call-up April 2nd, 2008
  • Concept of NBA Lottery patiently explained to Gilbert Arenas after attempted purchase of tickets April 2nd, 2008
  • Pacman Jones to sponsor Make It Rain Pennies for the Homeless Day April 1st, 2008
  • Clemens, Bonds form support group for ostracized steroid abusers April 1st, 2008
  • Belichick downplays Spygate episode while battling evil wheelchair-bound villain April 1st, 2008
  • Williams sisters pre-emptively apologize for embarrassing comments by father April 1st, 2008
  • Isiah "in" for Indiana job; school officials not amused April 1st, 2008
  • Dallas man files lawsuit against Yahoo! April 1st, 2008
  • Longhorn fans confused by new game March 31st, 2008
  • Bonner humiliated after blog deliberately misspells his name March 31st, 2008
  • NASCAR to race in Australia, make right turns March 31st, 2008
  • Brady changed by fatherhood, hopes for more children March 31st, 2008
  • Group of Russian NHL players set to block new MLS ruling March 31st, 2008
  • ESPN scraps "Sports Guy on Tape" March 30th, 2008
  • Indians keep asking rookie to eat stuff March 29th, 2008
  • First grade class arrested for gambling on NCAA Tournament March 29th, 2008
  • Matsui even more alienated after anus surgery March 28th, 2008
  • Manny frightened by time travel, refusing to leave Japan March 28th, 2008
  • Fukudome spends all night preparing appeal for Cubs kangaroo court March 27th, 2008
  • Source reports Al Davis has been dead for three years March 27th, 2008
  • Favre accidentaly signs with Dolphins while completing routine paperwork March 27th, 2008
  • CBS execs to begin giving Nantz testosterone injections March 27th, 2008
  • Pryor visits Ohio State campus, meets teachers for first, probably last time March 27th, 2008
  • Guillen to take cue from South Park, get V-chip installed March 27th, 2008
  • Cowboys hire Michael Irvin to counsel troubled players March 26th, 2008
  • C-Webb already making post-career plans March 26th, 2008
  • Mitchell Investigation broadens scope, to "everyone except David Wells" March 26th, 2008
  • St. Louis Cardinals to get discount on pitchers’ arm surgeries March 26th, 2008
  • Daly to play supporting role in Beerfest sequel March 26th, 2008
  • Fantasy draft gone awry leaves one dead, two injured March 26th, 2008
  • Upton furious with Rays over demotion of Evan Longoria March 26th, 2008
  • Berman family regrets letting Chris deliver eulogy March 26th, 2008
  • Fan says he was greeted by former NFL commish at Wal-Mart March 25th, 2008
  • Terrelle Pryor having surgery to remove coaches March 25th, 2008
  • Walsh out after embarrassing 4-game winning streak March 25th, 2008
  • Woods seeks to renegotiate pact with Satan after disappointing loss March 25th, 2008
  • NASA funding threatened after computer picks Villanova to win championship March 25th, 2008
  • God manipulating games to win bracket contest March 25th, 2008
  • Zambrano fascinated by blinking blue light March 25th, 2008
  • Dolphins DVD features non-fumbled handoffs, occasional yardage gain March 24th, 2008
  • NCAA to sanction multiple coaches for giving change to homeless March 24th, 2008
  • Man frantically calls friends to brag about Davidson victory March 24th, 2008
  • Naked Twins GM discusses Livan Hernandez, new clothes March 24th, 2008
  • Huggins had Duke in office pool, has mixed feelings about surprise win March 24th, 2008
  • Proehl seeking trademark on white receiver comparisons March 24th, 2008
  • Iverson celebrates return to Philly by skipping practice March 23rd, 2008
  • Steelers linebacker James Harrison sentenced to 5-10 years with Cincinnati Bengals pending parole March 23rd, 2008
  • Sports reporter chick with nice ass, decent rack fights objectification March 22nd, 2008
  • Riding high, Red Sox now refuse to travel to New York March 22nd, 2008
  • Zambrano obsessed with new Macbook Air song March 22nd, 2008
  • Green encouraged by Crystal, plans to try out at fullback March 21st, 2008
  • Coach K: "We kept it close on purpose" March 21st, 2008
  • John Daly’s friends fear golfing habit interfering with drinking, carousing March 21st, 2008
  • Stern creating new postseason tournament March 21st, 2008
  • Febreze to launch new line of sports-related scents March 21st, 2008
  • Clinton selects Lenny Dykstra as running mate March 20th, 2008
  • Florida State to introduce "Three R’s" major March 20th, 2008
  • Fox Sports accusing Simmons of breach of contract March 20th, 2008
  • Wife defeats Tiger, ends streak March 19th, 2008
  • Andre Johnson surprised, happy to be recognized at Gap March 19th, 2008
  • IOC to move games to American heartland March 19th, 2008
  • Arizona team not happy with NCAA tournament invitation March 19th, 2008
  • Packers, fans reeling from personnel losses March 19th, 2008
  • Carlesimo explains poor defensive performance March 18th, 2008
  • Durant getting stronger, no longer needs spotter for bench press bar March 18th, 2008
  • Pirates sign Crystal as everyday center fielder March 18th, 2008
  • Faneca says little known skill helped in contract negotiation March 18th, 2008
  • Cubs outfielder Pie exhibiting signs of severe separation anxiety March 17th, 2008
  • Twins manager Gardenhire falls irrationally in love with Monroe March 17th, 2008
  • ESPN commissions gold statue of UNC’s Hansbrough March 17th, 2008
  • Boeheim admits more wins would have made better case for Tourney March 17th, 2008
  • Lunardi: "I actually wanted to be an accountant" March 17th, 2008
  • New guy in legal won’t play in NCAA pool March 17th, 2008
  • At least two Walker personalities interested in comeback March 15th, 2008
  • Bush shines at USC pro day March 14th, 2008
  • Carmody pushing for NU tourney bid March 14th, 2008
  • Zambrano sees "An Inconvenient Truth," goes green March 14th, 2008
  • Yao tired of watching, chasing Hollywood dream March 14th, 2008
  • Heat mascot ending season early March 14th, 2008
  • Ian Kennedy named Governor of New York to replace Spitzer March 14th, 2008
  • Pirates fan looking to cash in on team’s forthcoming success March 13th, 2008
  • NCAA to pay athletes in McDonald’s gift cards, laundry tokens March 13th, 2008
  • CBS’ Johnson being sued over catchphrase March 13th, 2008
  • ‘Big Shot Bob’ still hitting game-winners in practice March 13th, 2008
  • Isiah attempting to trade for Tiger March 13th, 2008
  • Congressmen drafted by Brewers, ordered to bat against Randy Johnson March 12th, 2008
  • NHL playoffs rumored to begin soon March 12th, 2008
  • NCAA Tourney bubble bursts, injures hundreds March 12th, 2008
  • CIA offers Yanks announcer job March 12th, 2008
  • Scheduling conflict puts Chicago man’s marriage in doubt March 12th, 2008
  • Hernandez, Twins at odds over unusual contract provision March 12th, 2008
  • Jeff Kent shocker: mustache has always been fake March 11th, 2008
  • Millen reveals Lions’ draft plans March 11th, 2008
  • Congress to investigate sports clichés March 11th, 2008
  • Lucifer disgusted by Belichick’s soul, plans to sell it March 11th, 2008
  • Spitzer resigns from office, declares for NFL draft March 10th, 2008
  • Selig indicted by feds for "irritability" and "obstruction of fun" March 10th, 2008
  • Favre un-retires, retires again in single press conference March 10th, 2008
  • Hamels punches wall, creates new continent March 10th, 2008
  • Mortensen cell confiscated, brought to Hall March 9th, 2008
  • NASCAR plan to have drivers drink before race fizzles March 8th, 2008
  • Canseco’s testicles, Selig’s dour expression lead Cooperstown’s steroid exhibit March 7th, 2008
  • Ferrell to lend hand in new Gatorade flavor March 7th, 2008
  • Woman misinterprets husband-to-be’s cries of "we’re going dancing!" March 6th, 2008
  • Yankees announce plan to annex Quebec March 6th, 2008
  • Local man "pretty sure" he’ll win fantasy baseball league March 6th, 2008
  • Zambrano forgot to work out in offseason March 5th, 2008
  • Celtics sign E.T. to make Cassell comfortable March 5th, 2008
  • Milwaukee accountant quits job, cites fatigue March 4th, 2008
  • Cornell students get laid because of sports for first time March 4th, 2008
  • Obama gives Tiger endorsement March 3rd, 2008
  • Waitress says Clemens is terrible tipper March 3rd, 2008
  • Ramirez done "being Manny" March 1st, 2008
  • Knight hired by MLB umpire union to enforce "original" strike zone February 29th, 2008
  • BoSox trade Crisp for Lucky Charms February 28th, 2008
  • McMahon setting aside match for ‘View’ cast February 27th, 2008
  • Smith reveals man-crush on Allen Iverson now legal separation February 27th, 2008
  • Eli Manning still seething about MasterCard snub February 26th, 2008
  • A-Rod quits Yankees February 26th, 2008
  • Olbermann wants life chronicled on True Hollywood Story February 25th, 2008
  • Waitress feels stupid after realizing Prince Fielder is not actually heir to any crown February 25th, 2008
  • Mets sign Ashton Kutcher as punking coach February 25th, 2008
  • Berman: "Me or the Internet" February 25th, 2008
  • Future Kendrick Pranks to be less complicated February 22nd, 2008
  • McFadden to forego draft, go straight to Hall February 22nd, 2008
  • Tiger to play remainder of Match Play with self-imposed handicap February 21st, 2008
  • Cards aim for shutdown of Jupiter alcohol sales February 20th, 2008
  • Kidd trade involves Nets janitor and some old guy February 20th, 2008
  • Pettitte took HGH to strengthen relationship with God February 19th, 2008
  • Citing failures in New Orleans, NBA moving ‘09 All-Star to Jakarta February 19th, 2008
  • HR director spends morning watching Kimbo Slice February 19th, 2008
  • Goodell: "I can out-commish Bud Selig in my sleep" February 19th, 2008
  • Newman drives really, really fast to win Daytona 500 February 18th, 2008
  • Superman showboating at NBA event while world conflicts continue February 18th, 2008
  • Riley, Heat unsure if they can match 15-game slide in second half February 17th, 2008
  • Ramirez loves animals – "I’m a vegetarian" February 15th, 2008
  • D-Wade possibly dating Jessica Simpson? February 15th, 2008
  • Jeter annoying teammates with new joke February 14th, 2008
  • Zambrano skipping spring training until he gets a MacBook Air February 14th, 2008
  • McNamee found unconscious with baseball-sized head wound February 14th, 2008
  • Cubs to forfeit year after seeing Mets roster February 14th, 2008
  • Yankees to hold spring training in Baghdad February 13th, 2008
  • Phillies’ fans, players still devastated by Geary trade February 13th, 2008
  • Man plans to covertly draft fantasy team on tenth anniversary February 13th, 2008
  • Saban compares signing day to September 11 February 12th, 2008
  • McNamee produces John Deere evidence February 11th, 2008
  • Disgruntled Ocho Cinco to help team, involve governor in celebration February 11th, 2008
  • Vitale back on shelf after pulling vocal chord February 8th, 2008
  • NFL to play game in Bermuda Triangle, hoping Denver Broncos will disappear February 8th, 2008
  • Waiter inspired by Dwight Howard February 8th, 2008
  • Nolan Ryan celebrates new job by beating the crap out of Jon Daniels February 8th, 2008
  • Shaq to provide Maricopa Marauders huge boost in pickup league February 8th, 2008
  • Doctor diagnoses Schilling with "blogger’s shoulder" February 7th, 2008
  • Gammons: Bedard trade delay hurting O’s chance to suck more in ‘08 February 7th, 2008
  • Seahawks plan ahead, hire Vermeil to replace Mora February 7th, 2008
  • Miami parade to honor Giants, ‘72 Dolphins February 6th, 2008
  • Brady missing Pro Bowl with unexpected bout of soreloseritus February 6th, 2008
  • Beckham claims show doesn’t portray ‘real passion’ with Snoop Dogg February 6th, 2008
  • Knight retired due to normal blood pressure February 5th, 2008
  • Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building part of deal for Santana February 5th, 2008
  • ‘72 Dolphins remain most pretentious team ever February 5th, 2008
  • Puppy Bowl IV outdraws first three quarters of Super Bowl XLII February 4th, 2008
  • Dubya places misguided congratulatory call to Patriots February 4th, 2008
  • Boycott forces postponement of Bud Bowl February 3rd, 2008
  • Brady tired of beating Mannings February 2nd, 2008
  • Peyton: Eli will wear Ring Sunday February 1st, 2008
  • Tilghman mauled by tiger; PGA Mafia thought to be involved February 1st, 2008
  • Giuliani endorses McCain for Redskins head coaching job January 31st, 2008
  • Injury-riddled Bulls bring back Skiles as point guard January 31st, 2008
  • Shula: Patriots not undefeated until they win NCAA Tournament, World Series of Poker January 31st, 2008
  • Long to Seacrest: Stay away from Bradshaw January 31st, 2008
  • Sharapova to become mail-order bride January 31st, 2008
  • Jacobson to Catholic group: "It’s not like I molested a little boy" January 30th, 2008
  • Garcia punk’d again January 30th, 2008
  • Brady: "Super Bowl is chance for perfect suntan" January 30th, 2008
  • West Virginia claims Rodriguez is an illegal alien January 29th, 2008
  • Peyton Manning declares self "superior advertiser" to Brady January 29th, 2008
  • Petty to just play Guitar Hero III for Super Bowl halftime January 29th, 2008
  • NBC/Universal signs $7.5 million deal to air Quidditch matches January 28th, 2008
  • Problem solved: ‘Melo buys USC January 28th, 2008
  • New Jersey moron actually thinks Brady might not play in Super Bowl January 28th, 2008
  • Woods plays final round blindfolded, wins by 8 strokes January 27th, 2008
  • Cooper Manning: "I’d have four rings by now." January 27th, 2008
  • Donovan stuck with subprime mortgage January 25th, 2008
  • Golfweek editor hanged in aftermath of controversial ‘noose’ cover January 24th, 2008
  • Curlin celebrates HotY award in style January 24th, 2008
  • Multi-faceted surgery on Rivers successful January 24th, 2008
  • Big Tuna adds marine biologist to packed staff January 23rd, 2008
  • New NASCAR rule replaces burnouts with vomiting fan January 23rd, 2008
  • Favre happy he won’t have to cancel "Dancing" January 23rd, 2008
  • Clemens takes steroids to prepare for angrier denials January 22nd, 2008
  • KGB ruins Buck’s attempt at "perfect broadcast" January 22nd, 2008
  • Wii Sports added to 2012 Olympic games January 21st, 2008
  • Clemens making attempts to change public perception January 18th, 2008
  • Madden sends Favre turducken in hopes of win Sunday January 18th, 2008
  • Obsessed Chargers fan spurs Rotoworld to record traffic day January 17th, 2008
  • Lovie: Orton’s spot safe with Bears January 17th, 2008
  • Archie Manning buys tickets to wrong game January 17th, 2008
  • Favre: Sunday’s game a "must-win" January 16th, 2008
  • Peyton Manning experiencing really weird feelings toward brother Eli January 16th, 2008
  • ‘Cowboys cheerleader tells Jessica Simpson to ’step off’ January 16th, 2008
  • Jamario Moon skipping dunk contest for fantasy reasons January 15th, 2008
  • Simpson’s "Ginormous bozangas" may have been distraction to Romo January 14th, 2008
  • Heels’ Williams says unbeaten streak may last years January 14th, 2008
  • Jeter not going to waste pick on self in fantasy league January 14th, 2008
  • Nick Barkman, accountant, retiring from pro sports dream January 14th, 2008
  • Woodson protests controversial NBA decision January 13th, 2008
  • McFadden cites "deplorable working conditions" at Arkansas January 13th, 2008
  • Romo dentist appointment comes at bad time for Cowboys January 11th, 2008
  • Zambrano drops out, endorses Piniella’s managerial candidacy January 10th, 2008
  • Anchor Van Pelt still not sure what ‘ESPN’ stands for January 10th, 2008
  • Garnett trying to get Pierce to watch Swingers with him January 10th, 2008
  • Bears’ Adrian Peterson admits to cloning evil twin January 9th, 2008
  • Anderson, McNamee ties may go beyond steroids January 9th, 2008
  • Chiefs to sponsor work-release program with local prisons January 8th, 2008
  • Jayhawk fans fuel South Beach fast food sales January 7th, 2008
  • Madden not that excited for playoffs January 5th, 2008
  • Guy sees Coors Light coach commercials for first time January 5th, 2008
  • Mangino eats Mangini in battle over nickname January 5th, 2008
  • Hamels wins Iowa caucuses January 4th, 2008
  • Williams trying desparately to trade for Gonzalez January 4th, 2008
  • Kobe adds asterisk to Shaq’s fantasy football championship January 4th, 2008
  • Clemens to 60 Minutes: Injections were not steroids January 3rd, 2008
  • Win earns Stewart head coaching job; loss would have brought death January 3rd, 2008
  • Lane Bryant to open chain of Kobe Bryant stores January 3rd, 2008
  • Sooners pre-emptively decline all future Fiesta Bowl bids January 3rd, 2008
  • Canseco receives top honor from American Turncoat Society January 2nd, 2008
  • Portis skips practice to return Christmas gifts January 2nd, 2008
  • E:60 facing changes to name, format January 2nd, 2008
  • Kurt Warner’s wife mistaken for Jimmy Clausen January 1st, 2008
  • Parcells confident his man boobs won’t distract Dolphins December 31st, 2007
  • Stanford mathletes solve famous Trojan Theorem December 30th, 2007
  • Phillies unveil new plan for Hamels December 29th, 2007
  • Zambrano hoping to work from home in ‘08 December 28th, 2007
  • Bulls hire new head coach December 27th, 2007
  • Santa delivers Christmas victory to Lakers by mistake December 27th, 2007
  • Skiles thankful for holiday firing December 26th, 2007
  • Manning forgets wife in last-minute shopping frenzy December 25th, 2007
  • A-Rod, Boras agree to couple’s therapy December 24th, 2007
  • LeBron reaches 9,000 points, women on same day December 23rd, 2007
  • McMahon to open XFL Hall of Fame December 23rd, 2007
  • Sonics announce move, name change December 22nd, 2007
  • Cowboys set to play Panthers without Barber December 22nd, 2007
  • PGA relieved Woods not making any golf-related resolutions December 22nd, 2007
  • Bonds tells judge he’ll keep lawyers December 21st, 2007
  • Riley mistakes movie footage for actual game tape December 21st, 2007
  • Mr. Met denies steroid allegations December 21st, 2007
  • A-Rod maxes out annual 401(k) contribution December 21st, 2007
  • Awkward mistletoe encounter threatens Patriots’ chemistry December 20th, 2007
  • NFL teams sponsor Peterson cloning experiment December 20th, 2007
  • High school coach ends pre-game viewings of <i>300</i> following on-field slaughter December 20th, 2007
  • Favre unveils plan to erase Marino from human history December 20th, 2007
  • Williams to reporters: scoreboard, bite me December 19th, 2007
  • Mitchell Report more entertaining than <i>Minority Report</i> December 18th, 2007
  • A-Rod finalizes deal with Yankees for $252M, Montana December 18th, 2007
  • Devin Hester sets another record on MNF December 18th, 2007
  • Paxson to reject numerous trades for Gordon, Deng December 16th, 2007
  • Fan dies of Jayhawk fever December 15th, 2007
  • Tiger Woods going to be a more gracious host on Saturday December 15th, 2007
  • Miles to coach LSU, Michigan in 2008 December 14th, 2007
  • Anna Benson still acting like she’s famous December 14th, 2007
  • Local fantasy owner files protest seeking money back, championship trophies December 13th, 2007
  • Weis eating all evidence of 3-9 season December 12th, 2007
  • Petrino to Falcons: "Psych! I’m staying with you!" December 12th, 2007
  • Petrino heads to Arkansas to build program on "commitment and loyalty" December 11th, 2007
  • Mitchell Report to be released Thursday; Canseco totally calm December 11th, 2007
  • Boozer’s wife keeps messing up checkbook December 11th, 2007
  • Kelli Croyle forgets Brodie at gym December 11th, 2007
  • Vikings fined for having Adrian Peterson wear Chester Taylor’s uniform December 10th, 2007
  • Desperate Vick attorneys throw red challenge flag at sentencing December 10th, 2007
  • Putin backs Belichick as successor December 10th, 2007
  • Julius Jones lays traps for Marion Barber around Dallas locker room December 10th, 2007
  • Isiah trades Curry to Globetrotters for guy who throws confetti December 9th, 2007
  • Jones’ contract may include lifetime supply of Dodger Dogs December 9th, 2007
  • Weis furious about Irish missing out on BCS December 8th, 2007
  • Tebow jogging to Heisman ceremonies from Gainesville December 8th, 2007
  • Patriots sell Jets game film to Iran December 7th, 2007
  • Goodell: Redskins, Bears must both try to win December 6th, 2007
  • Knicks to stage mock presidential debate December 6th, 2007
  • Salisbury suspended for continued abuse of Clayton December 5th, 2007
  • Tigers’ acquisition of Cabrera, Willis not done deal December 4th, 2007
  • BCS formula actually Magic Eight Ball December 3rd, 2007
  • Evel Knievel dies after wheelchair fails to clear doorway December 3rd, 2007
  • LaRussa blames DUI on supplements from Ankiel December 2nd, 2007
  • Mets trade for Santana December 1st, 2007
  • BCS releases playoff schedule as practical joke November 30th, 2007
  • Celtics beat Knicks by 45; Boston fans disgusted November 30th, 2007
  • Green Bay loses to Dallas; Favre tells Romo to "Find a new mentor" November 29th, 2007
  • Devil exercises option, Miles must move to Ann Arbor November 29th, 2007
  • Carr expected to move as far from Tressel as possible November 29th, 2007
  • Abbas and Olmert agree to peace between Red Sox and Yankees November 28th, 2007
  • Joe Thomas has an enormous vocabulary November 26th, 2007
  • New "deal" forces Rodriguez family to tighten purse strings November 26th, 2007
  • Franchione shuts down newsletter, stunning and saddening blogging community November 25th, 2007
  • Braves offseason goals: sign Glavine, discover Fountain of Youth November 24th, 2007
  • KU and Mizzou set to battle for BCS title berth, bragging rights, tractors November 23rd, 2007
  • Zambrano ruins Thanksgiving monopoly game at Murton family house November 23rd, 2007
  • Vick started sentence early for financial reasons November 20th, 2007
  • Weis to start inanimate object at quarterback November 19th, 2007
  • Bill Belichick runs up score against son in <i>Madden</i> November 19th, 2007
  • Sabathia to return Cy Young award November 19th, 2007
  • KG: "Facebook would be more fun if I had gone to college" November 18th, 2007
  • Dallas Cowboys donated to President Bush in exchange for early end to presidency November 18th, 2007
  • Obama and McCain propose using BCS rankings to determine Presidency November 17th, 2007
  • Unattended Peyton Manning buys Ed Hardy Shirt November 17th, 2007
  • Dolphins to start contest winner at quarterback November 17th, 2007
  • Bonds indictment has headline writers breaking out the big wood November 17th, 2007
  • Heat accept Riley’s offer to suit up November 16th, 2007
  • Wallace scores twice in four-hour workout November 16th, 2007
  • Griese, Grossman, Orton to form QuarterBear November 15th, 2007
  • Rivers still shocked he didn’t throw away Colts game November 15th, 2007
  • Peterson expects to play Sunday despite leg amputation November 14th, 2007
  • Tiny Mercer College defeats OJ Mayo November 14th, 2007
  • Oregon faculty doesn’t understand popular "Dixon Your Mouth" signs November 14th, 2007
  • NBC cancels remainder of 2007 Notre Dame football season November 13th, 2007
  • Manning throws four more picks while filming commercial November 13th, 2007
  • Boston sports fans confident apocalypse is near November 13th, 2007
  • Billy Gillispie asked for A&M job back after loss to Gardner-Webb November 13th, 2007
  • Jesus loves Warner more than Kitna November 12th, 2007
  • Jimmie Johnson to let "Make a Wish" kid drive final race of season November 12th, 2007
  • New BCS Rankings out, confusion at the top November 12th, 2007
  • Patriots to sim rest of season on Madden ‘08 November 11th, 2007
  • Ohio State’s pre-emptive choke leaves college football gods furious November 11th, 2007
  • Hawaii A.D. offers free trips to Honolulu for BCS berth November 10th, 2007
  • Sonics fans form human wall around city to prevent team’s move to Oklahoma City November 10th, 2007
  • NASCAR to provide Jeff Gordon with ‘Jeff Gordon’ bonus November 10th, 2007
  • Torre: Dodgers may go after A-Rod, Jeter, Giambi, Rivera, Posada, Mientkievicz, Cano, Mussina, Matsui, Cabrera, Abreu and others November 10th, 2007
  • Portis having trouble getting flights home for Thanksgiving November 10th, 2007
  • Panthers hope Carr plays better with concussion November 9th, 2007
  • Gardner-Webb scrambles to create website after stunning upset over Kentucky November 9th, 2007
  • McNair urges NFL to increase strength of painkillers November 8th, 2007
  • Schilling’s contract contains unusual incentives November 7th, 2007
  • Occultist worried third Boston World Series could wake the Babe November 7th, 2007
  • Kevin Garnett spends four hours at Boston DMV in "own personal hell" November 6th, 2007
  • LSU fan claims honest mistake after barbecuing Saban’s dog November 6th, 2007
  • Spencer from The Hills makes anti-fantasy football comments, solidifies title as ‘biggest douche ever’ November 5th, 2007
  • Yankee fans who hated Girardi as a player expect to hate him as manager November 5th, 2007
  • Fox Sports urges Landon Donovan to "go the extra mile" November 5th, 2007
  • Adrian Peterson wins New York Marathon November 4th, 2007
  • Hoping to boost Jazz attendance, Boozer takes two more wives November 3rd, 2007
  • [CONTINUED] Kobe agrees to Bulls trade only if he gets to be renamed "Michael Jordan" November 3rd, 2007
  • Kobe agrees to Bulls trade only if he gets to be renamed "Michael Jordan" November 3rd, 2007
  • Federer wins Swiss tourney using only his hand November 2nd, 2007
  • Gilbert Arenas to unveil new "Twilight Zone" defense November 2nd, 2007
  • USC petitions ESPN to keep "dynasty" label November 1st, 2007
  • Greg Oden crushes his NBA debut November 1st, 2007
  • Commissioner to change rules, allow mob payoffs for refs November 1st, 2007
  • Roger Goodell hands out suspensions in Ellen DeGeneres dog case November 1st, 2007
  • Scott Boras announces Corey Patterson signing during sex with wife November 1st, 2007
  • A-Rod goes trick-or-treating as Aramis Ramirez; focuses primarily on Lou Piniella’s house October 31st, 2007
  • Yankee Stadium ticket scanners link future to Torre October 31st, 2007
  • Bengals caught riotting day after loss to Steelers October 30th, 2007
  • Four Boston fans watched BC comeback October 30th, 2007
  • Report: college students using football as excuse for excessive drinking October 30th, 2007
  • Antoine Walker looking to replace Oliver Miller as “Fattest Timberwolf Ever” October 30th, 2007
  • Pierce: new Celtics "too intense" October 29th, 2007
  • Dolphins lured to London in demotion ruse October 29th, 2007
  • Pierce: new Celtics "too intense" [CONTINUED] October 29th, 2007
  • A-Rod offers one-year deals, performance incentives to service-industry workers October 29th, 2007
  • Americans prepare for most productive workday since October 2004 October 29th, 2007
  • Man picks Sharapova trading card over mother October 28th, 2007
  • Red Sox team bus made last-second stop at Sports Authority in Denver October 28th, 2007
  • Corso bravely picks Ohio State while being attacked by Nittany Lion October 27th, 2007
  • Gainesville Presbyterian church now "First Church of Tebow" October 27th, 2007
  • Mechanic loses all credibility with lack of NASCAR knowledge October 26th, 2007
  • Sources: Barber complained about Lauer’s hazing October 26th, 2007
  • Testaverde’s ‘NFL thing’ putting Bingo team’s playoff prospects in jeopardy October 25th, 2007
  • New "glass-is-half-full" Steinbrenner repents, extends Torre October 25th, 2007
  • Tom Brady now favorite Son of The Almighty October 24th, 2007
  • Man spends entire commute telling wife about fantasy football issues October 24th, 2007
  • Indians’ Byrd previously a dwarf October 23rd, 2007
  • WNBA passes baseball as number one thing men think about to prevent ejaculation October 23rd, 2007
  • Indians’ Byrd releases prescription history October 22nd, 2007
  • Bob Brenly’s aunt angrily cancels subscription to newspaper October 22nd, 2007
  • Manny Ramirez completes 13 home run trots Sunday after mundane activities October 21st, 2007
  • Homer Bailey’s arm spontaneously starts to hurt very very badly October 21st, 2007
  • Injury to keep fantasy owner out for the season October 19th, 2007
  • Tank Johnson to sign autographs at Dallas Gun Show October 19th, 2007
  • Williams attempts, fails to rectify tipping misdeeds October 18th, 2007
  • Phoenix man happy to have favorite network back October 18th, 2007
  • Steinbrenner hires Trump for firing purposes October 17th, 2007
  • Rockies extend winning streak October 17th, 2007
  • Holliday finds $100 bill in coat he hasn’t worn for a year October 16th, 2007
  • Peterson signs endorsement deal with Roget’s October 15th, 2007
  • Derek Anderson has had "The Mighty Quinn" stuck in his head for weeks October 13th, 2007
  • Chris Webber consensus number one pick in Greek fantasy basketball October 12th, 2007
  • Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv October 12th, 2007
  • Henry fiasco gets stranger, suspension imminent October 12th, 2007
  • Man annoys wife with imitation of Frank Caliendo doing imitation of Al Pacino doing Abbott and Costello routine October 8th, 2007
  • Cubs ready for overdue vacation October 7th, 2007
  • One day in jail enough to teach Mike Nifong about rape, says inmate October 7th, 2007
  • God to smite first-born sons of Yankees October 6th, 2007
  • Marion Jones stripped of medal for pine tar infraction October 6th, 2007
  • Man’s wife spends fantasy winnings in single trip to grocery store October 5th, 2007
  • Scientist: Dale Jr. number change from 8 to 88 &quot;not exactly doubling it&quot; October 5th, 2007
  • Patriot System™ makes starters almost unnecessary October 4th, 2007
  • Colt McCoy to change name October 4th, 2007
  • Cubs blow off rally for Halo October 3rd, 2007
  • LJ has all ten Friends seasons on DVD October 3rd, 2007
  • Some Cubs jealous of Mets’ epic choke job October 2nd, 2007
  • Holliday’s behavior &quot;just childish,&quot; Rockies say October 2nd, 2007
  • Family road trip merely ruse for trophy pickup October 1st, 2007
  • NFL rejects Bears’ petition requesting bionic legs for Brown September 29th, 2007
  • Pacman Jones takes nine-month appointment with FEMA September 28th, 2007
  • Johnnie Cochran to represent OJ Simpson from beyond the grave September 28th, 2007
  • Gundy’s rage stoked by Bose instruction manual September 27th, 2007
  • Roy Williams obsessed with being "first on Google" September 27th, 2007
  • Tens of people watched ESPN’s &quot;Meeting&quot; September 27th, 2007
  • Fantasy chances destroyed by being Mike Pelfrey’s in-law September 27th, 2007
  • Griese excited about opportunity, promises mediocrity September 27th, 2007
  • Ahmadinejad works out for Saints at QB September 26th, 2007
  • Aspiring sabermetrician successfully calculates Getting Laid Chances Against Replacement Human September 26th, 2007
  • Romo: Bears’ Grossman &quot;No Romo,&quot; but could be worse September 25th, 2007
  • New phrase added to sports vernacular September 24th, 2007
  • Texans draft 0-2 record September 24th, 2007
  • Zambrano announces new ‘boo’ promotion September 23rd, 2007
  • Terrell Owens plans minimalist TD celebration full of symbolism and anti-NFL sentiment September 21st, 2007
  • Olbermann refuses to make Patriot Act joke September 21st, 2007
  • Pavano to Yankees: I won’t pitch on Yom Kippur September 20th, 2007
  • Red Sox losing ways all part of master plan September 20th, 2007
  • Alex Rodriguez to become singles hitter, will work on it during playoffs September 19th, 2007
  • Capuano spotted at frat party showing pickoff move to Thetas September 19th, 2007
  • Hamels performs own Tommy John surgery, recovers immediately September 18th, 2007
  • Carson Palmer’s fantasy team puts up second-highest point total of week, loses September 18th, 2007
  • Patriots send extra videotape to NFL, prove cheating did not help September 17th, 2007
  • Thome just happy 500^th homer wasn’t boring September 17th, 2007
  • Goodell praises Browns, Bengals for ingenuity September 17th, 2007
  • Tiger Woods’ wife feels a lot better about retirement prospects September 16th, 2007
  • Kobe Bryant lands Big role in Sex and the City movie September 15th, 2007
  • Zambrano’s massive credit card debt affecting his play September 14th, 2007
  • ESPN "totally spaced" on airing fourth game of WNBA Finals September 14th, 2007
  • Dale Earnhardt Jr. tricks step-mother, will retain Number Eight September 14th, 2007
  • Third person now believes Mario Williams was right pick September 13th, 2007
  • NFL rejects Chris Brown’s application to have Pro Bowl on Sept. 16 September 13th, 2007
  • 17,000 morons realize they had wrong Adrian Peterson September 12th, 2007
  • Charlie Frye traded for basket of fries September 12th, 2007
  • Derek Lowe thinks he can ‘help’ Lohan, Spears September 11th, 2007
  • NFL reviews confiscated tape, won’t penalize Pats September 11th, 2007
  • Manning sick of seeing self on TV September 10th, 2007
  • Guerrero’s credit near-perfect September 8th, 2007
  • Thome sees Ratatouille for the fourth time in the theater September 7th, 2007
  • Bush makes surprise visit to Iraq, attends fantasy football draft in person September 7th, 2007
  • New study reveals hockey is actually a sport September 7th, 2007
  • Autopsy reveals damage in Benoit’s brain September 7th, 2007
  • HBO’s Hard Knocks propels Gonzalez to higher draft positions September 6th, 2007
  • Atlanta residents stunned as Hawks announce 07-08 schedule September 6th, 2007
  • Ankiel control problems not entirely behind him September 5th, 2007
  • O.J. disturbed by Vick’s admission September 5th, 2007
  • Bradley completes NY Times Saturday crossword in nine minutes September 4th, 2007
  • Millions of &quot;die-hard&quot; Red Sox fans celebrate no-hitter by &quot;some dude&quot; September 4th, 2007
  • Local man makes $13,000 reading deadspin September 3rd, 2007
  • Rachel Nichols-Erin Andrews feud escalating out of control September 2nd, 2007
  • Ten of 150 WWE wrestlers test positive for steroids; other 140 to be tested next week September 2nd, 2007
  • Brady Quinn receiving special protection from Joe Thomas August 31st, 2007
  • Guillen loses temper, scalps Wassermann August 31st, 2007
  • Steven Jackson wins Nobel Peace Prize August 29th, 2007
  • Pilgrims flock to see Virgin Mary on Rasheed Wallace’s head August 29th, 2007
  • Local vendor union announces personnel changes August 28th, 2007
  • Jenna Bush announces engagement to Gilbert Arenas August 28th, 2007
  • Jim Edmonds’ expense reports in bad repair August 28th, 2007
  • FCC to take on White Sox August 28th, 2007
  • Fred Taylor incensed over rotoworld ranking August 26th, 2007
  • Kenny Mayne accuses five-year-old niece of cheating at backgammon August 26th, 2007
  • Elementary school librarian way too into NASCAR August 26th, 2007
  • Greg Maddux seeking guest appearance on <i>Flight of the Conchords</i> August 26th, 2007
  • Local sportscaster’s absurd prediction made boldly August 24th, 2007
  • New sports editor doesn’t know who Gookie Dawkins is August 24th, 2007
  • Zambrano announces intent to kill second lion August 24th, 2007
  • A-Rod torturing Jeter over dinner tab August 23rd, 2007
  • Kobe Bryant and Jermaine O’Neal now friends on Facebook August 23rd, 2007
  • Nationals ask Zimmerman to wait a couple of days before cashing paycheck August 22nd, 2007
  • Arizona Cardinals’ mascot job not all it’s cracked up to be August 22nd, 2007
  • Beckham enjoying retirement from soccer August 21st, 2007
  • Bowden trying to re-create Reds August 21st, 2007
  • LaRussa explains unusual batting order August 20th, 2007
  • Crosby spitting &quot;minor-league game&quot; August 20th, 2007
  • Scott Boras’s fantasy team in seventh place August 19th, 2007
  • Zambrano asks Cubs for BlackBerry August 17th, 2007
  • Zambrano’s contract contains unusual &quot;Barrett&quot; clause August 17th, 2007
  • Selig calls premature end to baseball season August 16th, 2007
  • Rivera blowing games deliberately August 16th, 2007
  • Holy Cow! Heavenly Caray beats crap out of newcomer Rizzuto August 15th, 2007
  • Berman proclaims latest nickname best of year August 15th, 2007
  • Jones to continue wresting career August 14th, 2007
  • Coach not hopeful for Beckham impact August 13th, 2007
  • Gorzelanny looks to sell high on self August 9th, 2007
  • Millen admits knowledge of affair has saved his job August 9th, 2007
  • Henry excited for super bowl August 7th, 2007
  • Cuban likely to declare war on Rockets August 6th, 2007
  • LeBron James gives Jimmy Kimmel fake phone number after ESPYs August 5th, 2007
  • Unborn Brady child ranked #21 fantasy QB August 2nd, 2007
  • Stuart Scott enraged over perceived Evite snub August 1st, 2007
  • FBI to hide, protect Donaghy July 31st, 2007
  • ‘Tank’ to become ‘Tits’ July 30th, 2007
  • Mickelson claims to be playing for second place July 28th, 2007
  • Zambrano throttles Theriot for HP7 spoiler July 27th, 2007
  • More details leaked in Donaghy case July 26th, 2007
  • Racism more "Now" than sexism July 25th, 2007
  • Parcells enters Hawaiian Tropics competition July 24th, 2007
  • Garcia levels accusations against Carnoustie July 24th, 2007
  • Wie’s struggles attributable to lack of steroids July 23rd, 2007
  • Papelbon won’t stop asking teammates to "hug it out" July 23rd, 2007
  • Atlanta places franchise tag on Freddie the Falcon July 22nd, 2007
  • T-Wolves "have a plan" July 22nd, 2007
  • EXCLUSIVE: Jason Giambi/George Mitchell Transcript July 21st, 2007
  • Vick named honorary PETA member July 21st, 2007
  • Selig to watch record broken at home in HD July 20th, 2007
  • Raptors change team name July 20th, 2007
  • Morrison admits to double life July 19th, 2007
  • Gay asserts heterosexuality July 19th, 2007
  • Wright hopeful for fantasy comeback July 19th, 2007
  • Oden surgery largely successful July 19th, 2007
  • Kitna vows lions will cure cancer July 18th, 2007
  • Cubs lose 20 millionth video game July 17th, 2007
  • Skiles faces suspension for running of the Bulls July 16th, 2007
  • WNBA All-Star Game attracts baker’s dozen July 16th, 2007
  • James suffering from paronychia July 16th, 2007
  • WNBA "highlights" reportedly used in terrorist training July 15th, 2007
  • Sheffield accuses Yankees of further discrimination July 14th, 2007
  • Tour de France cyclist allegedly riding clean July 14th, 2007
  • EXPOSÉ: Hilton ran clippers for last five years July 13th, 2007
  • China, Milwaukee agree to terms July 13th, 2007
  • Jordan establishes charity org. July 11th, 2007
  • Zumaya facing setback thanks to ‘Hero’ July 11th, 2007
  • MLB still toying with All-Star format July 10th, 2007
  • KC hopes to opt out of All-Star July 9th, 2007
  • Tony Parker’s wife smothering him July 9th, 2007
  • Buehrle contract more complicated than first thought July 8th, 2007
  • Prematurely obtained Henin blood no longer useful July 6th, 2007
  • Hargrove to pursue Big Foot July 5th, 2007
  • America’s Cup veteran just now realizing sailing is lame July 5th, 2007
  • Selig staying away from Fourth festivities July 4th, 2007
  • Kerr wins US Open, dozens celebrate July 4th, 2007
  • Celtics explore trade possibilities July 2nd, 2007
  • Bonds receives message from fans July 2nd, 2007
  • Sports Guy gives self "A/A-" June 29th, 2007
  • Zambrano to eat own fingers June 28th, 2007
  • Mets decide against Buehrle trade June 27th, 2007
  • Blazers trade top pick, avoid responsibility June 27th, 2007
  • Hurricane ranking scale to use NFL players June 22nd, 2007
  • Coco Crisp cereal conundrum June 22nd, 2007
  • Torre to star in fourth LOTR flick June 19th, 2007
  • Bowen, James connected even after finals end June 18th, 2007
  • Sox announce Farmer’s Tan and Beer Gut Night June 17th, 2007
  • James files harassment suit June 14th, 2007
  • Bettman discovers Cup has been won June 14th, 2007
  • Vick’s dog tests positive June 13th, 2007
  • NBA officials send Wade to line June 12th, 2007
  • MLB Draft on TV is "dream come true" June 12th, 2007
  • Wie’s "ambiguous genitals" cause, clear up confusion June 8th, 2007
  • Chicago Gamblers Association suspects funny business June 6th, 2007
  • Donovan reconsiders tuna special June 6th, 2007
  • Clemens conspiracy uncovered June 5th, 2007
  • Not everyone boycotting Bonds’ big bash June 4th, 2007
  • Even God sick of Clemens updates June 2nd, 2007
  • <i>View</i> finds new co-host June 1st, 2007
  • Blackhawks to play 2007-08 on Lake Michigan May 28th, 2007
  • SportsCenter format changes nixed May 28th, 2007
  • Ditka introduces Grabowski Grill May 27th, 2007
  • Dancing, singing added to 2008 Olympics May 27th, 2007
  • EXPOSÉ: MLB opening Cuban pipeline May 25th, 2007
  • Sweet Lou quits, blames curse May 25th, 2007
  • NBA announces changes for Finals May 23rd, 2007
  • Grossman training with Leaf May 21st, 2007
  • Nash starting "gun" tour May 20th, 2007
  • Piniella to discuss feelings on talk show May 19th, 2007
  • Clemens planning vacation for late May May 18th, 2007
  • Questionable toughness in today’s NBA player May 17th, 2007
  • Nowitzki loses MVP trophy May 17th, 2007
  • Movement to feed Prince picking up steam May 16th, 2007
  • Study shows Fathead not awesome May 15th, 2007
  • Major changes on tap for NHL May 15th, 2007
  • Nets endure T-shirt SNAFU May 14th, 2007
  • Scott compelled to take much-needed break May 13th, 2007
  • Baseball leads sports in Mothers Day celebrations May 13th, 2007
  • O’Neal calls cops, gets arrested May 12th, 2007
  • Wallace looking for revenge May 12th, 2007
  • Bryant resorting to desperate measures May 10th, 2007
  • Henderson not done yet May 10th, 2007
  • Iverson booted from plane May 9th, 2007
  • Carpenter injury actually from Red Rover May 8th, 2007
  • Stern study disputes racial bias May 5th, 2007
  • As losses pile up, Yankees make change May 5th, 2007
  • Agent Zero finds religion – or is it science? May 5th, 2007
  • Serial thief finally apprehended May 5th, 2007
  • Dirk explains playoff let-down May 4th, 2007
  • St. Louis celebrates arrival of Majerus May 3rd, 2007
  • Ramirez linked to alleged cock fight kingpin May 3rd, 2007
  • Strahan’s gap closed May 3rd, 2007
  • Yankees acquire mound help May 3rd, 2007
  • NASCAR teams with Springer May 2nd, 2007
  • Walton headed for Congress May 1st, 2007
  • Wade to have surgery May 1st, 2007
  • Bears make draft day trade April 29th, 2007
  • Clemens shocks MLB, signs with Spurs April 29th, 2007
  • MLB – The Final Frontier April 28th, 2007
  • Foul ball sparks Wrigley riot April 27th, 2007
  • Kiper AWOL from ESPN April 25th, 2007
  • Hughes finally gets call-up April 25th, 2007
  • Prior has surgery, aiming for 2008 return April 25th, 2007
  • White Sox release Buehrle April 24th, 2007
  • Duncan accepts Crawford challenge April 24th, 2007
  • Cavs make postseason acquisition April 22nd, 2007
  • Yanks break gajillion mark April 22nd, 2007
  • Cavs jump Bulls for first-round bye April 20th, 2007
  • Johnson, Okoye, Adams are blazers, not buffoons April 20th, 2007
  • Cubs plan Wrigley addition April 18th, 2007
  • Crisp changes name April 18th, 2007
  • Crawford excited about free time April 18th, 2007
  • Michigan nabs early commitment April 17th, 2007
  • Number 42 speaks out April 17th, 2007
  • Dick Clark arrested April 16th, 2007
  • Chandler to enter draft April 15th, 2007
  • Quinn ahead of Russell on own draft board April 14th, 2007
  • Harrington a happy backup April 14th, 2007
  • Zito blames lack of focus for early struggles April 13th, 2007
  • Konerko hoping to shed nickname April 12th, 2007
  • Comic Cardinals touring nation April 11th, 2007
  • Another controversial endorsement for Ditka April 11th, 2007
  • Exclusive: SSNN interview with Alex Rodriguez April 10th, 2007
  • Texans trying to gauge fans’ wants April 9th, 2007
  • MLB changes rules to suit sensitive players April 8th, 2007
  • Daly starting golf camp April 7th, 2007
  • Cubs sell to fans April 7th, 2007
  • Noah recovering from collapsed lung, plastic surgery April 6th, 2007
  • Gyroball impressive in Dice-K debut April 5th, 2007
  • EXPOSÉ: LeBron paying way for Cavs April 5th, 2007
  • Another strange injury for Sosa April 5th, 2007
  • White Sox beef up Cell security April 4th, 2007
  • Buehrle accepts blame for Contreras’ bad outing April 4th, 2007
  • NCAA to discontinue March Madness April 3rd, 2007
  • Williams vows to change, take drug use seriously April 2nd, 2007
  • Jones to be more involved than ever April 2nd, 2007
  • Lidge Revisited by Pujols Homer April 2nd, 2007
  • Woods and Federer "totally BFF" March 30th, 2007
  • Buck to add endorsement March 30th, 2007
  • Bonds to take time off March 29th, 2007
  • Manning in trouble for SNL skit March 28th, 2007
  • Favre seeks restraining order for Madden March 28th, 2007
  • Eli released from Mannings, Giants March 28th, 2007
  • Blazers, Randolph get beating, Big Macs March 27th, 2007
  • Coaching staff deserves credit for Kobe’s explosion March 25th, 2007
  • ESPN, MLB to debut <i>The Syringe Life</i> March 23rd, 2007
  • Thomas gets New York ‘Day’ March 22nd, 2007
  • Barbaro’s Best now on sale March 21st, 2007
  • Sixers fined for success March 19th, 2007
  • Bears sign Manning March 18th, 2007
  • WNBA finds new audience March 18th, 2007
  • NBC to unveil new Sunday Night Football music March 18th, 2007
  • IOC announces Spring Break Olympics March 16th, 2007
  • Yankees buy title March 16th, 2007
  • The 300: San Francisco under attack March 15th, 2007
  • Rosenhaus organizes charity event for Briggs March 15th, 2007
  • Bears set Grossman’s off-season program March 14th, 2007
  • Pacman tops Bengals’ "most wanted" list March 14th, 2007
  • Raiders sign huge free agent March 13th, 2007
  • SSNN’s Ten Greatest NBA Centers March 12th, 2007
  • Stern to restrict players’ musical selection March 12th, 2007
  • Cubs ask fans for excuses March 11th, 2007
  • McCovey Cove actually Fountain of Youth March 10th, 2007
  • MTV to debut Dice-K TV March 8th, 2007
  • Rivers given vote of confidence, puts house on market March 7th, 2007
  • Wade signs lucrative new endorsement deal March 7th, 2007
  • NFLPA demands trade March 6th, 2007
  • Hockey to hold playoffs despite lack of attention March 4th, 2007
  • Isiah Thomas on NBA luxury tax: "I had no idea it existed" March 2nd, 2007
  • EXPOSÉ: Adam Jones ruined my life February 28th, 2007
  • Grossman afflicted with debilitating disease February 21st, 2007
  • Piniella starts camp with tantrum February 19th, 2007
  • Schottenheimer still in San Diego after "classic" slang misunderstanding February 13th, 2007
  • Jones mourns Smith, hires Phillips February 9th, 2007
  • First dunk contest attempt to come early February 6th, 2007
  • Vick signs four ounce, $800 deal January 30th, 2007
  • "Dubya" pardons Canseco, McGwire, Palmeiro, Sosa January 22nd, 2007
  • Bill Simmons spotted with "Manning face" January 22nd, 2007
  • Art Shell forms presidential exploratory committee January 19th, 2007
  • Nellie: trade is black and white January 19th, 2007
  • Nike releases new Ted Ginn, Jr. jersey January 10th, 2007
  • Jacksonville’s Taylor won’t see game action until September January 9th, 2007
  • Taylor’s hamstring still hurt; questionable for BCS Championship viewing January 8th, 2007
  • Jeremy Shockey’s offseason to-do list leaked to press January 8th, 2007
  • Belichick’s tearful admission: "I am actually homeless" January 8th, 2007
  • Millions of Americans pissed off at John Cougar Mellencamp right now January 7th, 2007
  • Owens, Glenn, Barber, and Cowboys D jealous of Romo for choking more January 7th, 2007
  • Cowher wants to spend more time fighting with wife, daughters January 5th, 2007
  • Justin Morneau has only 34 friends on MySpace January 4th, 2007
  • Pelosi: NBA’s return to old ball "victory for Democrats, freedom" January 4th, 2007
  • Teammates: Fred Taylor’s text messaging "out of control" January 3rd, 2007
  • Dontrelle Willis traded to Bengals December 22nd, 2006
  • Fred Taylor "finally going to sit down and write" this offseason December 22nd, 2006
  • FT Cruisers eliminated from JJCFL playoffs December 18th, 2006
  • Carmelo Anthony receives "bitch-punch" exemption; suspension shortened December 18th, 2006
  • Fred Taylor reluctantly considering starting LT as FLEX December 14th, 2006
  • Manny Ramirez unaware of Matsuzaka signing December 14th, 2006
• Category: GroupWrite
  • GroupWrite: Michael Vick to rehabilitate with Cowboys November 25th, 2008
  • Madsen seen checking out a Playboy magazine at Los Angeles Public Library November 20th, 2008
  • GroupWrite: Favre calls McCain, tells him how to beat Obama November 2nd, 2008
  • GroupWrite: Lebron James taking election day off to get out the vote November 1st, 2008
  • Oden to dress up as NBA player for Halloween October 31st, 2008
• Category: History
  • France declares war on Detroit Lions, ends 120-year losing streak January 7th, 2009
  • (Jim) Rome sacked by barbarians December 17th, 2008
  • Martin Luther causes rift with Church over instant replay September 25th, 2008
  • Ben Franklin proposed that Continental Congress fantasy league uses yards as well as TDs in scoring system September 2nd, 2008
  • Lee becomes free agent, signs with Confederacy August 26th, 2008
  • Franklin turning Poor Richard’s Almanac into popular, pithy sports blog August 19th, 2008
  • Guy wearing headphones outside O’Leary home blames cow for fire August 15th, 2008
  • Patrick Henry makes bold statement in anticipation of revolution August 13th, 2008
  • War of 1812 discovered to be first use of SABRmetrics August 11th, 2008
  • Cubs dynasty underway with second consecutive World Series title August 4th, 2008
  • Truman infuriated by Tribune error January 5th, 2008
  • Confederate soldiers to wear alternate Sunday uniforms for upcoming battle December 22nd, 2007
  • Henry Clay settles vicious fantasy league dispute December 20th, 2007
  • Pheidippides runs to Athens, announces victory, urges end to competitive running December 17th, 2007
  • Magna Carta downgraded by SABR based on Historic Timelessness Factor December 17th, 2007
  • Revisiting the Athens Olympics: A Retrospective July 1st, 2004
• Category: Madlib
  • Write a Sports Guy Column! October 19th, 2007
• Category: Multimedia News
  • Vertical Soccer July 14th, 2008
  • Oh, NUMNAH! What a relief…. May 31st, 2008
  • Charles "Ron Burgundy" Barkley May 17th, 2008
  • The Truth About Kimmel May 6th, 2008
  • Kenny Smith’s shoes are NOT as cool as Kobe’s April 24th, 2008
  • Did Matt Holliday touch the plate? Find out! March 28th, 2008
  • Probably the best Duke highlights ever… March 24th, 2008
  • One of a series of Chris Berman outtakes February 11th, 2008
  • If you thought the Super Bowl Shuffle was funny… February 2nd, 2008
  • Chris Bosh’s All-Star Commercial January 5th, 2008
  • Tony La Russa’s DUI caught on tape!! December 7th, 2007
  • Michael Vick Is Dog Food! October 6th, 2007
  • Mike Gundy seems a little angry… and he’s 40! September 23rd, 2007
• Category: News In Brief
  • NFL season to climax today with Pro Bowl February 8th, 2009
  • Todd Haley to interview with Chiefs about the possibility of yelling at their players February 4th, 2009
  • Patriots coach Bill Belichick caught taping the Cardinals’ taping of the Steelers’ practice January 29th, 2009
  • Polamalu thinking about buying a vowel January 20th, 2009
  • ESPN discovers 28 other MLB squads December 21st, 2008
  • Stuart Scott’s wife refuses hug, hand-pound December 20th, 2008
  • ESPN discovers 28 other MLB squads December 20th, 2008
  • Mike Tyson opens mutual fund to save for future December 15th, 2008
  • Regular def rendered ‘useless’ to Evanston native December 14th, 2008
  • Illini name new mascot December 13th, 2008
  • GroupWrite: Favre calls McCain, tells him how to beat Obama November 2nd, 2008
  • GroupWrite: Lebron James taking election day off to get out the vote November 1st, 2008
  • GroupWrite: Michael Vick to rehabilitate with Cowboys October 31st, 2008
  • GroupWrite: Oden to dress up as NBA player for Halloween October 30th, 2008
  • BREAKING NEWS: McCain admits he doesn’t know who Hamels is; election in jeopardy October 30th, 2008
  • Ryan Howard "totally hit two bombs in BP today" October 24th, 2008
  • Red Sox seek to be added to federal bailout October 15th, 2008
  • Joe Buck walking around telling people about the significance of mundane events October 14th, 2008
  • Jeter preparing for October by buying tickets online October 1st, 2008
  • Lane Kiffin changes Facebook relationship status to "It’s complicated with Al Davis" September 30th, 2008
  • White Sox’ Ozzie Guillen proposes to "swap teams" with Twins’ Ron Gardenhire September 26th, 2008
  • Travis Henry: "I’m Not the Father of Clay Aiken’s Baby" September 25th, 2008
  • Chase Daniel awarded 2008 Heisman trophy September 24th, 2008
  • Owens doesn’t want to talk about McNabb all the time; only 95 percent September 14th, 2008
  • Bengals hope to sign most of Georgia football team August 11th, 2008
  • Beijing anti-smog plan calls for giant oil-burning torch August 8th, 2008
  • Nation mourns life of Tim McCarver August 6th, 2008
  • Dodgers to play two outfielders August 2nd, 2008
  • Pirates sign Lyndon Larouche in effort to have all Laroches and LaRouches on team August 2nd, 2008
  • NCAA to strip UCLA of at least seven titles February 21st, 2008
  • Paige fervently contesting Around the Horn record February 14th, 2008
  • Earnhardt regrets decision not to enter race February 11th, 2008
  • Knight excited for opportunity to verbally abuse wife, grandchildren February 6th, 2008
  • Clemens tells Congress same story as 60 Minutes, press February 5th, 2008
  • New England chef admits he didn’t "leave it all in the kitchen" February 4th, 2008
  • Charges dropped against Curry, incident ruled self defense February 1st, 2008
  • UFC to promote Majerus, Burke clash February 1st, 2008
  • Randy Moss reportedly tells accuser ‘watch Super Bowl to see real beating’ January 31st, 2008
  • Entire Baylor team misses exam following five-OT thriller January 29th, 2008
  • Bonds blown away by size of indictment January 29th, 2008
  • Pearl blames Vols’ loss on poor attire decision January 25th, 2008
  • Wife of Pats’ Seymour says husband not dirty, just "a little kinky" January 24th, 2008
  • Brady sex appeal too much for Chargers in fourth quarter January 22nd, 2008
  • New, foolproof system developed to predict Super Bowl winner January 18th, 2008
  • Carroll agrees to Falcons’ proposal on one condition January 11th, 2008
  • LSU’s Dorsey "freaking out" over potential Whopper departure January 9th, 2008
  • Surgeon removed ‘ear-like’ growth from Clemens’ forehead January 8th, 2008
  • Peyton Manning audibles out of wife’s book club January 7th, 2008
  • Mangino to go on all-orange diet January 4th, 2008
  • Flopping accident sends Ginobili to bench with injury December 27th, 2007
  • National Weather Service lowers Two-Minute Warning to Two-Minute Watch December 27th, 2007
  • Kaman passes Hinrich for coveted Best White American honors December 26th, 2007
  • Iguodala asking Santa for jump shot December 24th, 2007
  • Self criticizes fellow Jayhawk Mangino for failing to fulfill potential December 23rd, 2007
  • Phoenix nun punched Horry after game December 21st, 2007
  • FCC declares Fukudome offensive, not suitable for television December 20th, 2007
  • Romo blames bad thumb on crazy night with Jessica Simpson December 20th, 2007
  • LSU backup hoping to top last year’s exploits December 20th, 2007
  • Dolphins win, decide to quit while ahead December 19th, 2007
  • Selig expected to punish Cobb, investigate others December 19th, 2007
  • McMahon sends MLB $2M "Thank You" note December 19th, 2007
  • Red Sox add Simmons to package for Santana December 18th, 2007
  • Kyle Shanahan gets Christmas present; no others forthcoming December 14th, 2007
  • Radomski files suit for name rights December 13th, 2007
  • Bonds furious over attention paid to McGwire and Sosa after release of Mitchell Report December 13th, 2007
  • Valdez: "Imagine how much I would have sucked" without PEDs December 13th, 2007
  • Juan Pierre not named in Mitchell Report December 13th, 2007
  • Holtz "virtually unharmed" after motorcycle accident December 9th, 2007
  • Crosby leads NHL All-Star ballotting December 8th, 2007
  • Sixers fire GM after Chairman awakes from decade-long coma December 7th, 2007
  • Vick caught editing 2007 out of Wikipedia entry December 7th, 2007
  • Selig hoping steroid report arrives in time to ruin holidays December 6th, 2007
  • Texans hoping Williams can dominate against Titans, Young December 1st, 2007
  • Briles took Baylor job on dare December 1st, 2007
  • Marion Jones’ name to be removed from phone book, high school yearbook and family tree November 30th, 2007
  • Tyson on prison experience: "It was good to come home again" November 29th, 2007
  • Holtz pep talk forces ESPN to replace cameras November 29th, 2007
  • Philadelphia Eagles fans charged with every unsolved crime in America November 20th, 2007
  • Urlacher believes he’s making up for on-field disappointment by "tackling illiteracy" November 19th, 2007
  • Williams buys testing company after reinstatement November 16th, 2007
  • ESPN fan forum sets record for most blatantly obvious statements made in a day November 14th, 2007
  • Arenas beats whiny guy from <i>Stand By Me</i> for best celebrity blog November 14th, 2007
  • Durant confident Sonics will improve before conference play begins November 12th, 2007
  • Grossman optimistic about promotion to closer November 12th, 2007
  • Huggins makes West Virginia best-paid college team November 12th, 2007
  • Kobe happy to stay in L.A. if all other Lakers are traded November 9th, 2007
  • Kansas football to scrimmage Chiefs to prove they’re for real November 9th, 2007
  • Arenas ready to play after excess ego drained from knee November 9th, 2007
  • NBA threatened by writers strike November 8th, 2007
  • Callahan returns to Lincoln to find home sold, bags packed November 8th, 2007
  • Lute Olson takes time off to deal with Andy Reid’s sons November 6th, 2007
  • Romo’s new contract requires him to sleep with Wade Phillips’ wife November 5th, 2007
  • Tom Brady to give first-born son to charity if Colts beat Pats November 3rd, 2007
  • Pirates hire top-rated MLB 2K7 gamer as GM November 3rd, 2007
  • Schilling’s wife learns of planned sexual activity from blog November 2nd, 2007
  • Vince Carter promises to give 96% this season November 2nd, 2007
  • Curry and Randolph eating contests force Knicks to remove locker room buffet November 1st, 2007
  • Martina Hingis retires after argument over white lines November 1st, 2007
  • Goddell asks Raiders to play in Sacramento, on Tuesday October 31st, 2007
  • British crowd expected 10-foot men playing soccer against sea mammals October 30th, 2007
  • Les Miles admits he doesn’t follow LSU games all that closely October 30th, 2007
  • Archie Manning implores reporters to consider exchange rate when evaluating Eli’s statistics October 29th, 2007
  • Ohio State excited about possibility of another undefeated season and another humiliating bowl defeat October 29th, 2007
  • Hurdle: Red Sox are "really good" October 29th, 2007
  • Youkilis blasts anti-semitism as the reason for demotion October 27th, 2007
  • Houston on comeback: "Totally unsuccessful basketball-wise, but great cardio" October 26th, 2007
  • Vick auction finds no takers for painting of dogs playing poker, attacking each other October 26th, 2007
  • Referee spreads blame for blown fair catch call October 26th, 2007
  • Pamela Anderson named new Knicks assistant October 25th, 2007
  • Majerus fined after body-painting stunt October 25th, 2007
  • NASCAR driver: Valtrex sponsorship "killing my game" October 25th, 2007
  • Elizabeth Hasselbeck touts husband, brother-in-law October 24th, 2007
  • Testaverde’s buddies preferred him as armchair QB October 24th, 2007
  • Vatican to investigate Colorado Rockies miracle October 22nd, 2007
  • Rams request mercy rule for future games October 22nd, 2007
  • McKnight one big game from first raise October 22nd, 2007
  • USC routs Irish after God is unable to crash Trojan plane October 21st, 2007
  • Gandolfini whacks neighbor to celebrate Rutgers win October 20th, 2007
  • Judge sentences youth to 24 hours with Tim McCarver October 18th, 2007
  • U.S. hires Bill Belichick to clean up Iraq October 18th, 2007
  • Schilling might cut ankle to regain 2004 magic October 18th, 2007
  • Bradley injures elbow watching soap opera September 25th, 2007
  • Real-life Patriots outperform Bill Simmons-led Video Game Patriots September 12th, 2007
  • Randy Moss excited to come out of retirement September 1st, 2007
  • Durant strength improving by leaps and bounds August 19th, 2007
  • Sports Guy’s wife hasn’t read his column in years August 19th, 2007
  • Baseball geek in Detroit has erotic dream about Rick Porcello August 16th, 2007
  • Vick beginnning to question friends’ loyalty, integrity August 15th, 2007
  • Philly man briefly doubted Hamels was God August 13th, 2007
  • Grossman "in midseason form" at start of training camp July 27th, 2007
  • Cuban no longer interested in buying Cubs July 26th, 2007
  • Trop accidentally turned into mini golf course July 25th, 2007
  • Dukes takes swing at reconciliation with "Dick in a Box" July 20th, 2007
  • Kemp to endorse Trojan Condoms July 19th, 2007
  • Kobayashi files lawsuit July 18th, 2007
  • Henderson hired to mentor reyes July 15th, 2007
  • Oden to miss season with ED July 13th, 2007
  • Fever, Liberty game 63% more boring than usual July 13th, 2007
  • Selig undecided on All-Star attendance July 10th, 2007
  • Garland gets Sox back on track July 6th, 2007
  • Brewers forced to make change July 4th, 2007
  • Woods’ daughter misses cut at first major July 4th, 2007
  • Wie quits dinner, enters eating contest July 1st, 2007
  • Culpepper blocks trade to Celtics June 30th, 2007
  • New racing organization to debut Saturday June 29th, 2007
  • Tank accomplishes goal faster than expected June 27th, 2007
  • Wimbledon field forfeits to Federer, Nadal June 25th, 2007
  • Cubs augment upcoming giveaway promotions June 24th, 2007
  • Lakers disappoint Kobe again June 21st, 2007
  • Stanley Cup to go under knife June 21st, 2007
  • Ferry blames James June 20th, 2007
  • Bettman moving for major changes June 19th, 2007
  • Woods’ body "nothing to do with" golf June 18th, 2007
  • Federal agents respond to US Cellular bomb threat June 15th, 2007
  • Goodell lets loose on radio June 8th, 2007
  • Goodell hands out another suspension June 7th, 2007
  • Brees honored by Nagin, New Orleans June 7th, 2007
  • Kobe flip-flopping on future in sports June 5th, 2007
  • D-Stern deciphers Donovan debacle June 4th, 2007
  • Piniella furious about Cubs’ blowup June 2nd, 2007
  • Thousands dead in Utah, San Antonio June 1st, 2007
  • Maddux living on edge May 31st, 2007
  • ESPN to televise Brady baby’s arrival May 31st, 2007
  • Clemens to stay in minors May 29th, 2007
  • Bonds "bringing jerk back" May 29th, 2007
  • Williams files lawsuit May 26th, 2007
  • Paterno lets loose on Lincoln May 24th, 2007
  • Bonds enters supplement market May 23rd, 2007
  • Oden cures cancer May 23rd, 2007
  • NBA Draft Lottery cancelled May 21st, 2007
  • Cubs warn fans of Wrigley’s fragility May 20th, 2007
  • Woods struggling with nightmare May 20th, 2007
  • Bears to incorporate backwards pass May 16th, 2007
  • Warriors suspend Davis for Game 5 May 14th, 2007
  • Williams confused, out until September May 11th, 2007
  • Restaurant owner defends Simpson ousting May 11th, 2007
  • Brewers fined, renamed May 11th, 2007
  • McNabb speaks out May 9th, 2007
  • Cuban holding grudge May 8th, 2007
  • Van Gundy headed for better place May 7th, 2007
  • Randy Johnson adds to trophy case May 7th, 2007
  • Yankees announce nickname contest May 6th, 2007
  • Jackson turning to pugilism May 6th, 2007
  • Deng wins Sportsmanship Award amid accusations of fraud May 3rd, 2007
  • Riley redo? April 30th, 2007
  • Gordon wins at Talladega, whines about media April 30th, 2007
  • Ravens draft Smith, admit mistake April 30th, 2007
  • Dirk comes clean, changed name in ‘97 April 27th, 2007
  • Rivera adresses struggles April 22nd, 2007
  • Jackson limiting pressure for Bryant April 22nd, 2007
  • Miller comes clean about double life April 22nd, 2007
  • Buehrle reacts – day after no-hitter April 19th, 2007
  • Thome furious over P.O.G. "snub" April 19th, 2007
  • Young to grace Madden ‘08 cover April 19th, 2007
  • Florida struggling with success April 16th, 2007
  • Crosby wins, whines, wins April 14th, 2007
  • Green Monster attacks April 12th, 2007
  • Pacman’s true vice - Paris April 12th, 2007
  • Gammons releases new album April 12th, 2007
  • Indians 2007 home games relocated April 10th, 2007
  • Masters to undergo major changes April 10th, 2007
  • Mayo changes mind, won’t attend USC April 9th, 2007
  • No word on Durant draft status April 8th, 2007
  • Greek gods protesting baseball season April 7th, 2007
  • Tank’s legal troubles continue April 6th, 2007
  • Grossman named best "500" thrower in sports April 3rd, 2007
  • Knicks try new approach with Curry April 3rd, 2007
  • Mavs sign real veteran <i>Pro</i> April 1st, 2007
  • Controversial spit no surprise to Tour vets March 31st, 2007
  • Columbus nearly burning with Final Four excitement March 31st, 2007
  • Prior back to DL March 29th, 2007
  • Parker taking next career step March 29th, 2007
  • Stern proposes overtime rule change March 27th, 2007
  • New locale excites McGahee March 26th, 2007
  • Thomas planning more additions March 26th, 2007
  • Phil returning to old approach March 24th, 2007
  • LaRussa to enter rehab March 24th, 2007
  • McRoberts looks good to NBA March 23rd, 2007
  • Miller credits female headgear for performance March 23rd, 2007
  • Summitt, Pearl go down March 22nd, 2007
  • Barkley finally gets ring March 21st, 2007
  • Griffey making position change March 21st, 2007
  • Clemens bidding to begin March 19th, 2007
  • Moss trade demands "too high" March 18th, 2007
  • Boise State runs trick play, skips out on Bennigan’s check March 17th, 2007
  • NCAA Tourney field to expand March 16th, 2007
  • Stern axes remainder of season, playoffs March 16th, 2007
  • Cassell lands movie role March 15th, 2007
  • Rose finally comes clean March 15th, 2007
  • Ohio State disqualified from NCAA Tourney March 15th, 2007
  • Julio Franco missing March 12th, 2007
  • ESPN discovers 28 other MLB squads March 12th, 2007
  • Vitale pried from Coach K March 11th, 2007
  • Exclusive Bonds rookie card auctioned March 10th, 2007
  • Musburger fired March 9th, 2007
  • Angelo following Krause blueprint March 8th, 2007
  • NBA trades Hardaway for more open-minded ex-player March 7th, 2007
  • U of I to partner with Champaign police March 4th, 2007
  • Sosa confident he can pick up where Matthews, Jr. left off March 4th, 2007
  • Britney Spears edges Mike Wilbon in SportsNation poll March 3rd, 2007
  • Clerical error leaves Jones still searching for lucky #10 March 3rd, 2007
  • Selig to raise stakes again March 2nd, 2007
  • Matthews, Jr. wonders what took so long March 2nd, 2007
  • Beckham to US soccer fans: where’s the violence? March 2nd, 2007
  • Offices around US crippled by Match Play pools February 27th, 2007
  • First unanimous vote elects steroids to Hall February 27th, 2007
  • Dannielynn Smith’s birth father revealed February 27th, 2007
  • Texans see 2007 draft class, ask for 2006 do-over February 24th, 2007
  • Bonds campaigning for 2008 HoF eligibility February 24th, 2007
  • Walton booked for distribution February 23rd, 2007
  • Kidd traded to Lakers for Cannon, Nicholson shades February 23rd, 2007
  • Brady enters Anna Nicole baby daddy drama February 23rd, 2007
  • Etheredge joins Bush administration February 23rd, 2007
  • Arizona man shoved by Randy Johnson February 21st, 2007
  • Pavano at camp for HD programming February 21st, 2007
  • Arenas frustrated by "team-first approach" February 21st, 2007
  • "Great start" to Turner era in SD February 20th, 2007
  • Rip in space-time continuum wreaks havoc on ESPN family of networks February 18th, 2007
  • Barkley to be stripped of race victory February 18th, 2007
  • Regular def rendered ‘useless’ to Evanston native February 17th, 2007
  • Illini name new mascot February 16th, 2007
  • Realistically, Wood probably out for season February 16th, 2007
  • Colorado adds intramural team to schedule February 16th, 2007
  • NASCAR to scrap Daytona February 16th, 2007
  • Hardaway clarifies remarks, apologizes February 15th, 2007
  • Jones wants to help Bolts February 14th, 2007
  • Cubs, Curse reach agreement on extension February 14th, 2007
  • Moorman to attempt position change February 13th, 2007
  • Hayes, Dorn project as D-Ray contributors February 13th, 2007
  • Pujols literally a machine February 9th, 2007
  • Hunter to come out February 9th, 2007
  • Prince headwear available online February 9th, 2007
  • A-Rod cocky in latest article January 23rd, 2007
  • Isiah wants credit for Nuggets January 23rd, 2007
  • Parcells commits Cardinal sin January 23rd, 2007
  • Mike Tyson opens mutual fund to save for future January 9th, 2007
  • Tebow plans to learn second play for ’07 season January 9th, 2007
  • Tank Johnson pleads not guilty: "I did way more stuff than that!" January 9th, 2007
  • Stuart Scott’s wife refuses hug, hand-pound January 4th, 2007
• Category: Opinions
  • Pat Burrell could totally sleep with your wife right now (if he wanted to) May 2nd, 2008
• Category: Polls
  • Poll: Who wins in an MLB Battle Royale? December 7th, 2007
• Category: Redux
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Even God sick of Clemens udpates February 13th, 2008
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Real-life Patriots outperform Bill Simmons-led Video Game Patriots January 22nd, 2008
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Crosby leads NHL All-Star ballotting January 22nd, 2008
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Nike releases new Ted Ginn, Jr. jersey January 8th, 2008
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Clemens planning vacation for late May January 8th, 2008
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Strahan’s gap closed December 23rd, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Clemens conspiracy uncovered December 23rd, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Olbermann refuses to make Patriot Act joke December 15th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Tiger Woods’ wife feels a lot better about retirement prospects December 15th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Bonds to take time off December 14th, 2007
  • <i>FROM THE ARCHIVES…</i> EXCLUSIVE: Jason Giambi/George Mitchell Transcript December 14th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Exclusive Bonds rookie card auctioned December 12th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: ESPN, MLB to debut <i>The Syringe Life</i> December 12th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Vick beginnning to question friends’ loyalty, integrity December 11th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Ahmadinejad works out for Saints at QB December 11th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Patriots to sim rest of season on Madden ‘08 December 9th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Gainesville Presbyterian church now "First Church of Tebow" December 8th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Oregon faculty doesn’t understand popular "Dixon Your Mouth" signs December 8th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Randy Moss excited to come out of retirement November 15th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: A-Rod torturing Jeter over dinner tab November 12th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv November 11th, 2007
  • FROM THE ARCHIVES: Beckham enjoying retirement from soccer November 10th, 2007
• Category: Sports Biotch
  • Ovechkin wants Russian women only - DA! August 14th, 2008
  • WNBA - Whatever it Takes to Keep People Watching July 30th, 2008
• Category: Sports Jokes
  • Phil and Amy Mickelson fit like a glove… August 6th, 2008
  • Confucius on baseball… August 4th, 2008
  • Kobe in Heaven… July 15th, 2008
  • A child’s questionable fandom… July 15th, 2008
  • What to do with a 3-balled elephant… July 15th, 2008
• Category: Spotted Bass
  • Referee’s raised hand goes unnoticed at NCAA meeting January 5th, 2008
  • U of L fan leaves game earlier to catch "Flip This House" rerun January 5th, 2008
  • NCAA Bans Notre Dame from entering non-BCS Bowl Games January 4th, 2008
  • Petrino still unaware that Michael Vick is Marcus Vick’s brother January 4th, 2008
  • Rupp Arena banner to honor Duke’s four-game losing streak January 4th, 2008
  • UK fan no longer wants Donovan after Florida loses 3 of 4 January 4th, 2008
  • Brooks accepts coaching position at Tulsa January 4th, 2008
  • God angry at Obrzut for wasting height January 1st, 2008
  • PGA golfer J.B. Holmes changes first name back to John January 1st, 2008
  • One game left: Manning shifts focus to Pro Bowl January 1st, 2008
  • Kurt Warner’s wife mistaken for Jimmy Clausen January 1st, 2008
  • Stanford mathletes solve famous Trojan Theorem December 30th, 2007
  • Sampson’s three-ways result in NCAA violations April 5th, 2007
• Category: SSNN Personals
  • 34F looking for great NBA bloodlines October 10th, 2008
  • Betting on love August 8th, 2008
  • Posthumously scoring August 8th, 2008
  • Only feeling Patriotic August 6th, 2008
  • My Gooooaaaaaaaaal is to be loved August 6th, 2008
  • Generally lonely August 4th, 2008
  • Doesn’t Bode well for you… August 4th, 2008
  • No more French Licking! July 31st, 2008
  • Just f**k it! July 15th, 2008
  • Metropolitan life getting me down July 15th, 2008
  • Tired of the Bullshit July 15th, 2008
  • Separated Lovers July 15th, 2008
  • ATTENTION! July 15th, 2008
  • NASCAR fan looking for love July 15th, 2008
  • Need an ego boost July 15th, 2008
  • Be my sports gal July 15th, 2008
  • Yankee needs a spanking July 15th, 2008
  • Cursed love life July 15th, 2008
  • Hoosier daddy July 15th, 2008
  • Not seeking Mariners or seamen July 15th, 2008
• Category: Translations
  • Mike Gundy’s explosion about journalism translated from English to Japanese to Portuguese and back to English by an automatic translator, without comment August 20th, 2008
  • Allen Iverson’s comments on "practice" translated automatically from English to Polish to Hindi and back to English, without comment August 15th, 2008
  • Bill Simmons’ 12th NBA Draft column translated from English to Spanish to Finnish to Chinese (Simplified) back to English using an automatic translator, without comment August 15th, 2006
• Category: Writers
  • Category: Aaron Siegel
    • FOX trades NFL Robot for BCS Championship December 21st, 2008
    • TO mad that people aren’t including him in stuff anymore December 21st, 2008
    • Yankees make a play for another big-named pitcher December 12th, 2008
  • Category: Adam Mack Wright
    • Kurt Warner orders Whopper, declares faith to drive through attendant February 4th, 2009
    • Former college journalism major furious with fantasy football leaguemates due to lack of appreciation of weekly newsletter December 15th, 2008
  • Category: Adrian Ramos
    • Occultist worried third Boston World Series could wake the Babe November 7th, 2007
    • Gilbert Arenas to unveil new "Twilight Zone" defense November 2nd, 2007
    • Dolphins lured to London in demotion ruse October 29th, 2007
    • Man picks Sharapova trading card over mother October 28th, 2007
    • Tom Brady now favorite Son of The Almighty October 24th, 2007
  • Category: Andy Stryker
    • Cornell fan devises diabolical plan to get Big Red past Mizzou in NCAAs March 17th, 2009
    • CC Sabathia "so freakin’ pumped" for Springsteen halftime show January 31st, 2009
    • God to smite prayers at Super Bowl January 29th, 2009
    • Zambrano irate about CTA fare increase January 15th, 2009
    • Parcells confident his man boobs won’t distract Dolphins December 31st, 2007
    • Flopping accident sends Ginobili to bench with injury December 27th, 2007
    • Kaman passes Hinrich for coveted Best White American honors December 26th, 2007
    • Iguodala asking Santa for jump shot December 24th, 2007
    • A-Rod, Boras agree to couple’s therapy December 24th, 2007
    • LeBron reaches 9,000 points, women on same day December 23rd, 2007
    • Phoenix nun punched Horry after game December 21st, 2007
    • NFL teams sponsor Peterson cloning experiment December 20th, 2007
    • Romo blames bad thumb on crazy night with Jessica Simpson December 20th, 2007
    • LSU backup hoping to top last year’s exploits December 20th, 2007
    • Dolphins win, decide to quit while ahead December 19th, 2007
    • Williams to reporters: scoreboard, bite me December 19th, 2007
    • McMahon sends MLB $2M "Thank You" note December 19th, 2007
    • Jones’ contract may include lifetime supply of Dodger Dogs December 9th, 2007
    • Weis furious about Irish missing out on BCS December 8th, 2007
    • Tebow jogging to Heisman ceremonies from Gainesville December 8th, 2007
    • Sixers fire GM after Chairman awakes from decade-long coma December 7th, 2007
    • Selig hoping steroid report arrives in time to ruin holidays December 6th, 2007
    • Evel Knievel dies after wheelchair fails to clear doorway December 3rd, 2007
    • LaRussa blames DUI on supplements from Ankiel December 2nd, 2007
    • Texans hoping Williams can dominate against Titans, Young December 1st, 2007
    • Briles took Baylor job on dare December 1st, 2007
    • BCS releases playoff schedule as practical joke November 30th, 2007
    • Tyson on prison experience: "It was good to come home again" November 29th, 2007
    • Devil exercises option, Miles must move to Ann Arbor November 29th, 2007
    • Holtz pep talk forces ESPN to replace cameras November 29th, 2007
    • Carr expected to move as far from Tressel as possible November 29th, 2007
    • Braves offseason goals: sign Glavine, discover Fountain of Youth November 24th, 2007
    • KU and Mizzou set to battle for BCS title berth, bragging rights, tractors November 23rd, 2007