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Tim Mackin Archives

2007 Top 20, #7: Brady missing Pro Bowl with unexpected bout of soreloseritus

BOSTON, MA -- In the wake of his team's dramatic Super Bowl XLII's loss, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady announced that he would not be journeying to Hawaii for [continue reading...]

Posted on December 30th, 2008

Brady missing Pro Bowl with unexpected bout of soreloseritus

BOSTON, MA -- In the wake of his team's dramatic Super Bowl XLII's loss, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady announced that he would not be journeying to Hawaii for [continue reading...]

Posted on February 6th, 2008

Puppy Bowl IV outdraws first three quarters of Super Bowl XLII

GLENDALE, AZ -- Early Nielsen polls for Sunday evening provided some unexpected news for producers of Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl IV. "We beat the Super Bowl?!" exclaimed executive producer Melinda [continue reading...]

Posted on February 4th, 2008

Tilghman mauled by tiger; PGA Mafia thought to be involved

SCOTTSDALE, AZ -- Golf Channel commentator Kelly Tilghman was mysteriously mauled by a tiger while she wandered through a back alley near the PGA's current Scottsdale event early Friday morning. [continue reading...]

Posted on February 1st, 2008

Peyton Manning declares self “superior advertiser” to Brady

GLENDALE, AZ -- Peyton Manning came clean about his feelings toward Tom Brady's commercial endorsements today, announcing that he was "the superior advertiser." "I'm not talking about who's better at playing [continue reading...]

Posted on January 29th, 2008

Wii Sports added to 2012 Olympic games

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND – At a press conference early this morning, International Olympic Committee President Jacques Rogge announced that several new sports were going to be added to the Olympic Programme [continue reading...]

Posted on January 21st, 2008

Jeter not going to waste pick on self in fantasy league

NEW YORK, NY – In a candid and emotional interview with SSNN early this morning, Derek Jeter admitted he wouldn’t waste a fantasy draft pick [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2008

Nick Barkman, accountant, retiring from pro sports dream

ST. LOUIS, MO -- At a small press conference held in his living room, 24-year-old Nick Barkman shocked the world today by announcing his retirement from dreaming about playing on [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2008

Bears’ Adrian Peterson admits to cloning evil twin

CHICAGO, IL -- At a press conference this afternoon, Chicago Bears' running back Adrian Peterson admitted that he cloned himself when he was a child. "I was six," the 28-year [continue reading...]

Posted on January 9th, 2008

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