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David Copper Archives
Peavy vehemently denies using foreign substance, attributes performance to steroids
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Despite photographic evidence of a grimy substance on his right hand, San Diego Padres right-hander Jake Peavy denied allegations that he used any kind of foreign [continue reading...]
Posted on April 9th, 2008
WNBA hopes to boost attendance with shirts/skins teams
NEW YORK, NY -- In an effort to boost lagging attendance, WNBA spokesman Kevin Tucker has announced that teams during the upcoming season will be distinguished from each other by [continue reading...]
Posted on April 4th, 2008
Cardinals players, coaching staff outraged by Leinart party photos
GLENDALE, AZ -- After photos of Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart partying last weekend at his Arizona home become public via the internet, the young starlet's teammates and coaches angrily [continue reading...]
Posted on April 3rd, 2008
Anticipating future house arrests, Tank Johnson purchases mobile home for 2008 road games
DALLAS, TX -- With the expectation that he will probably be placed under house arrest for speeding, carrying concealed weapons or drunk driving at some point during the upcoming season, [continue reading...]
Posted on April 2nd, 2008
Concept of NBA Lottery patiently explained to Gilbert Arenas after attempted purchase of tickets
WASHINGTON, DC -- NBA star Gilbert Arenas was reportedly seen in a Washington, D.C. 7-11 insisting that he had a "really good feeling" about the upcoming NBA Lottery. Displaying crossed [continue reading...]
Posted on April 2nd, 2008
Belichick downplays Spygate episode while battling evil wheelchair-bound villain
BOSTON, MA -- Months after they were embroiled in a scandal when caught videotaping an opposing team's signals, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick insists that his team has [continue reading...]
Posted on April 1st, 2008
Williams sisters pre-emptively apologize for embarrassing comments by father
PALM BEACH GARDENS, FL -- In preparation for their upcoming appearance at the Fed Cup tournament, Serena and Venus Williams apologized in advanced for "any and all foolish, embarrassing or [continue reading...]
Posted on April 1st, 2008
Pryor visits Ohio State campus, meets teachers for first, probably last time
COLUMBUS, OH -- High school phenom Terrelle Pryor visited the campus of Ohio State University this weekend for a guided tour of classrooms, science labs and lecture auditoriums that he [continue reading...]
Posted on March 27th, 2008
Mitchell Investigation broadens scope, to “everyone except David Wells”
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- The probe concerning illegal performance enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball has reportedly broadened to include every single current player in the sport, except for [continue reading...]
Posted on March 26th, 2008
Berman family regrets letting Chris deliver eulogy
NEW YORK -- The family of famed ESPN broadcaster Chris Berman is still reeling from a shocking, profanity-laced rant he delivered during the eulogy of his Aunt Jane on Sunday. [continue reading...]
Posted on March 26th, 2008
Woods seeks to renegotiate pact with Satan after disappointing loss
DORAL, FL -- After a disappointing fifth-place finish in the CA Championship at Doral, Tiger Woods has reportedly been seen at the crossroads, seeking out Old Harry (a.k.a. the Devil) [continue reading...]
Posted on March 25th, 2008
Dolphins DVD features non-fumbled handoffs, occasional yardage gain
MIAMI, FL -- Dolphins '07!, the highlight DVD for the 2007 Miami Dolphins, hits video stores Monday and features a scintillating array of moments from the 2007 season that do [continue reading...]
Posted on March 24th, 2008
Huggins had Duke in office pool, has mixed feelings about surprise win
MORGANTOWN, WV -- West Virginia head basketball coach Bob Huggins was happy that his team was able to upset Duke in the second round of the NCAA tournament, but the [continue reading...]
Posted on March 24th, 2008
Steelers linebacker James Harrison sentenced to 5-10 years with Cincinnati Bengals pending parole
CINCINNATI, OH -- Despite emotional pleas for leniency from his family, Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison was sentenced to 5-10 years of hard labor with the Cincinnati Bengals after pleading [continue reading...]
Posted on March 23rd, 2008
Sports reporter chick with nice ass, decent rack fights objectification
BRISTOL, CT -- ESPN hottie Rachel Nichols is a mainstay in the world of sports reporting. Seen and admired by millions of viewers, she's reached the pinnacle of her field. [continue reading...]
Posted on March 22nd, 2008
John Daly’s friends fear golfing habit interfering with drinking, carousing
CORDOVA, TN -- Friends of John Daly have expressed grave concern over the Cordova resident's apparent preoccupation with golfing, and the toll it is exacting over his lifestyle of excessive [continue reading...]
Posted on March 21st, 2008
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