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SSNN Personals Archives

34F looking for great NBA bloodlines

34 year-old F looking for tall, attractive offspring of NBA great. Does not necessarily need to be great himself. Must be willing to constantly defer to those around him. Rides [continue reading...]

Posted on October 10th, 2008

Betting on love

I love the game of baseball and taking chances. I'll bet on marriage, separation, divorce, you name it. I'll write a book about it. I'll do anything for cash.

Posted on August 8th, 2008

Posthumously scoring

63-year-old slightly deceased. Look, I'm dead, but I'm not dead. If you could just tell your friends you had sex with me while I was alive, I'm sure that would [continue reading...]

Posted on August 8th, 2008

Only feeling Patriotic

30-year-old male just mingling with you common folk. I'll never need to use a dating service because I look like a supermodel (with three Super Bowl Rings) and I'm dating [continue reading...]

Posted on August 6th, 2008

My Gooooaaaaaaaaal is to be loved

U.S. soccer fan wants to score with everyone. I'm sexy. Look at me. I'll show you sexiness. I know you've heard rumors that I'm not that sexy, but I really [continue reading...]

Posted on August 6th, 2008

Generally lonely

67-year-old retired Hall of Fame college hoops coach misses media attention. My wife doesn't want me around anymore because she says I'm not the grouchy bastard I used to be. [continue reading...]

Posted on August 4th, 2008

Doesn’t Bode well for you…

30 M looking for ski partner. Hey dude, hope you like lots of snow and free spirits. Dude, I'm a super fun date. But don't count on me showing up [continue reading...]

Posted on August 4th, 2008

No more French Licking!

Stop calling me. It's over. You're living in the past. I went back home to Indiana, and now that you've won again it's time for you to move [continue reading...]

Posted on July 31st, 2008

Just f**k it!

I don't (expletive) need any (expletive) love. One minute you think I'm big (expletive) on the town and tomorrow you'll think I'm a piece of (expletive). You're probably just like [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

Metropolitan life getting me down

I'm tired of these relationships with mixed messages, especially when they end in the middle of the night. Baby, it's not like I'm wasting $138 million on purpose and the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

Tired of the Bullshit

Seeking permanent coach in the bedroom. I finally have a new man, but I'm a dirty whore and really not sure he is right for me. I just want [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

Separated Lovers

I last saw you in 1908, but I'll never stop loving you. Trophy, please come back to me, I'm starting to run out of excuses for why we haven't been [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

ATTENTION!

43-year-old former ballplayer just wants attention, preferably from the mass media. Don't make me write another book about all the people I injected steroids into. I'll do it, trust me. [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

NASCAR fan looking for love

Huge stock car racing fan hoping to find the love of his life. Interests include cars, drinking beer, having beer brought to me and sitting in the sun without a [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

Need an ego boost

Professional football player looking for an attractive, young woman to get into a relationship with. Must enjoy hearing me talk about myself and be able to help choreograph end zone [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

Be my sports gal

Successful sports columnist looking for girl to have a fun time with. MUST be into wordy foreplay (I'm talking 3000 to 5000 words here). Ability to relate any and everything [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

Yankee needs a spanking

24 M die-hard submissive Yankee fan seeks Boston woman into S&M. I don't get enough beatings at home.

Posted on July 15th, 2008

Cursed love life

Longtime Cub fan seeks total loser with common interests. Must be a dreamer and have lots of patience. If you get depressed in the summer, then we should meet.

Posted on July 15th, 2008

Hoosier daddy

47-year-old ex-basketball coach and executive seeks female for unwanted dirty talk. Corporate exec types only. I like to be humiliated in public, and hope you like it even more in [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

Not seeking Mariners or seamen

Single lesbian exhibitionist loves attention and making out with sloppy tongue during the 7th inning stretch. If the thought of doing inappropriate things on the JumboTron turns you on, then [continue reading...]

Posted on July 15th, 2008

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