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LPGA rewrites English-only rules

SOMEWHERE -- The Ladies Professional Golf Association has rewritten some key program rules recently, following some language problems among the athletes. Originally, LPGA Tour commish Carolyn Bivens approved [continue reading...]

Posted on September 10th, 2008

Chinese gymnasts looking forward to high school

BEIJING -- In the wake of controversy surrounding the age of the Olympic Chinese gymnasts, SSNN exclusively overhead two members of the gold medal team, He Kexin, and Deng Linlin [continue reading...]

Posted on September 8th, 2008

Scratched DVD added to AL All-Stars

Selig doesn’t want to hear your whining - HE is the decider!

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In a surprising turn of events, MLB has decided to add another roster player to the 2008 American League All-Star team. While most thought the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

Manny looking to alleviate summer boredom

Manny’s trying to alleviate boredom with Etch-a-Sketch activities…

BOSTON, MA -- As June comes to a close and baseball reaches the heart of its season, the wear of eighty-plus games is starting to take its toll on the [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

A-Rod’s heart touched by Katy Perry single

A-Rod is presumably preparing to kiss someone, possibly with cherry chapstick

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- With the New York Yankees hovering in third place in the AL East, 5.5 games behind the surging Tampa Bay Rays, Alex Rodriguez has been [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

Specter begins investigation into National Spelling Bee

Specter likes to investigae things…

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On May 30th, in front of a live TV audience, Sameer Mishra took home the top honors at the 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee by correctly spelling [continue reading...]

Posted on June 17th, 2008

Celtics’ bandwagon collapses under immense weight

The Celts’ bandwagon shattered

BOSTON, MA -- Tragedy struck the Celtics fan base today as the team's bandwagon suddenly collapsed beneath millions of people in green "BEAT LA" t-shirts. Thousands were injured, though no [continue reading...]

Posted on June 17th, 2008

MLB establishment, press, fans all excited about AL East expansion

BOSTON, MA -- Sportswriters across America are baffled by the emergence of other teams in the American League East this season. Newspapers and websites alike – not to mention the [continue reading...]

Posted on May 20th, 2008

Man arrested for sending threatening letters to NFL players

ORLANDO, FL -- A Florida man was arrested yesterday in Orlando after being identified as the sender of multiple menacing letters to approximately twenty NFL players – including Reggie Bush, [continue reading...]

Posted on May 13th, 2008

Bear survives Zambrano attack

Carlos loves his Wii

CHICAGO, IL -- The day began innocently as Carlos Zambrano, along with Cubs teammates Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee, took advantage of an off day to go camping and fishing [continue reading...]

Posted on April 10th, 2008

Bonner humiliated after blog deliberately misspells his name

SAN ANTONIO, TX -- It all began last week, after an NBA blog ran a piece entitled The Other, More Useful Talents of the NBA's Best Bench Warmers, a list [continue reading...]

Posted on March 31st, 2008


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