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Gerald Hanks Archives

80’s singer Corey Hart wins online All-Star vote

NEW YORK, NY -- In a victory deemed by many baseball experts as a shocking upset, singer Corey Hart won an online fan vote for the final spot on the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 13th, 2008

Bob Gibson to stage Cardinals comeback

ST LOUIS, MO -- In a move designed to keep up with their National League Central rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals announced today that Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Gibson [continue reading...]

Posted on July 12th, 2008

Steroid prices to reach all-time high as demand increases

NEW YORK, NY -- Wall Street analysts are predicting a steep increase in the price of anabolic steroids worldwide due to increased demand this summer, with some market watchers are [continue reading...]

Posted on July 11th, 2008

Rays’ Maddon hailed as Second Coming

TAMPA, FL -- Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon has, by the standards of many baseball experts, performed a miracle in leading his previously hapless squad to first place in [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

Twins defect to NL, lead West division by four games

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- In what has been called a daring midnight escape, the entire Minnesota Twins organization defected from the gray, dreary American League Central to the sunny climes of [continue reading...]

Posted on June 28th, 2008

Chacon gets contract with UFC

HOUSTON, TX -- After an altercation with general manager Ed Wade led to his being cut, former Houston Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon is trading in the Major League Baseball diamond [continue reading...]

Posted on June 27th, 2008

NBA announces hiring of WWE refs

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- Following the exciting Finals series between the league's two most decorated franchises and the startling revelations by disgraced former referee Tim Donaghy, NBA Commissioner David [continue reading...]

Posted on June 19th, 2008

Satan to lead Celtics victory parade, collect on debt of souls

BOSTON, MA -- In celebration of their first NBA championship in 22 years, the city of Boston has scheduled a victory parade for their beloved Celtics. The parade will be [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2008

World Poker Tour announces new “All-In” version

LAS VEGAS, NV -- World Poker Tour Enterprises, a leader in presenting the heart-pounding action of televised, high-stakes, no-limit Texas Hold'em poker tournaments, has announced a new series of events [continue reading...]

Posted on June 16th, 2008

NASCAR, horse racing to merge

CHARLOTTE, NC -- In another shrewd marketing move, the executives at NASCAR have announced that they are joining forces with the Jockey Club of America and several state horse racing [continue reading...]

Posted on June 13th, 2008

Electronic Arts announces recall, delayed release of NBA Live ‘09

REDWOOD CITY, CA -- Electronic Arts, maker of the EA Sports line of video games, announced today that they are pushing back the release of this year's version of their [continue reading...]

Posted on June 12th, 2008

Actress Milano expected to break Ripken streak

HOLLYWOOD, CA -- According to her online baseball blog, former Charmed star Alyssa Milano expects to have sex with Tampa Bay Rays rookie bullpen catcher Arturo Guzman this Saturday night, [continue reading...]

Posted on June 12th, 2008

Ken Griffey, Jr. reaches 600

MIAMI, FL – Cincinnati Reds outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. celebrated hitting his 600th career home run this week, becoming the sixth player in history and third in the last six [continue reading...]

Posted on June 11th, 2008

Astros to add new attractions to Minute Maid Park

HOUSTON, TX -- Houston Astros owner Drayton McLane announced today that he would be adding new features to Minute Maid Park in order to bolster sagging attendance. "We're very excited about [continue reading...]

Posted on June 11th, 2008

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