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Frank Myrland Archives

Las Vegas declared ice hockey capital of North America

LAS VEGAS, NV – Long understood to be primarily a Canadian sport, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman made an announcement yesterday that suggests that there is a sense change on the [continue reading...]

Posted on February 25th, 2009

Hockey to remove fighting from game; replace it with Rock, Paper, Scissors

TORONTO, CA – Fighting has been a part of hockey since its inception but has become the subject of controversy in recent years. Due to concerns with the safety [continue reading...]

Posted on February 25th, 2009

Tampa sports fans in a tizzy about the start of the Lightning season

TAMPA, FL –With the NBA still wading through its preseason and the Sony Ericsson Tennis Open having already been played earlier this year, there was very little sports entertainment to [continue reading...]

Posted on October 22nd, 2008

Serena Williams takes title at U.S. Open; rips apart adult grizzly bear

NEW YORK, NY - Serena Williams can add a series of accomplishments to her name upon the conclusion of this year's U.S. Women's Tennis Open. Not only did the [continue reading...]

Posted on September 8th, 2008

White Sox star Carlos Quentin injured while being treated for injury

CHICAGO, IL – Only days after the Chicago White Sox suffered a potentially fatal blow to their season at the hands of the poor decision-making skills of star Carlos Quentin, [continue reading...]

Posted on September 8th, 2008

Toronto fans confused to see Buffalo and Pittsburgh play football, not hockey

TORONTO, CA -- Canada received its first taste of American football last week, but there is a lot of evidence suggesting they didn't fully understand what was happening. Fans exiting [continue reading...]

Posted on August 21st, 2008

Entire NFL outsourced to Africa in cost-cutting move

NEW YORK, NY – Growing excitement stemming from the opening of training camps throughout the National Football League was overshadowed yesterday by the decidedly controversial decision to outsource the entire [continue reading...]

Posted on July 5th, 2008

Mariners hope to replace Sexson with Moose

SEATTLE, WA -- Floundering at the bottom of the AL West and rapidly falling out of playoff contention, the Seattle Mariners may follow the firing of manager John McLaren with [continue reading...]

Posted on June 23rd, 2008

Extra 10% in oft-used sports cliché discovered to be steroids

NEW YORK, NY -- The war on performance-enhancing drugs in professional sports may not be over, but an independent team of researchers operating in New York have won a significant [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2008

Italian team unprepared for Toni’s real injury

BERNE, SWIZTERLAND – The bumpy road to recovery for the struggling Italian soccer team took another hit yesterday. After bitterly losing a lopsided opening match to the Netherlands, Azzuri striker [continue reading...]

Posted on June 13th, 2008

Stanley Cup confiscated by airport security

PITTSBURGH, PA -- After a tiring 82-game regular season and 4 grueling playoff series, the Detroit Red Wings finally got their hands on hockey's most illustrious prize. But only hours [continue reading...]

Posted on June 6th, 2008

Malone breaks nose during post-game press conference

DETROIT, MI – After being thoroughly beaten up throughout the Stanley Cup Finals, Ryan Malone suffered a broken nose – again – during a press conference following Game 5. The [continue reading...]

Posted on June 4th, 2008

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