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Featured News Archives
Lions sign Fox NFL Robot to shore up defense
DETROIT -- In a desperate attempt to shore up their ailing defense, the Detroit Lions have signed the FOX NFL Robot to play outside linebacker. "He's pretty consistent," said WR [continue reading...]
Posted on November 23rd, 2008
Jeff Garcia not thrilled about being player’s association gay rep
NEW YORK, NY -- When the NFL Players' Association decided that it needed to represent its minority player groups a bit better, most of the players in the league agreed [continue reading...]
Posted on November 23rd, 2008
Following tie, Andy Reid seen making out with sister
PHILADELPHIA, PA — The City of Brotherly Love took a disturbing and literal turn today, when Eagles Head Coach Andy Reid was spotted making out with his sister on Broad [continue reading...]
Posted on November 23rd, 2008
Former Vick dog busted for public urination
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA -- As Michael Vick returned to Virginia for another hearing regarding his dog-fighting exploits, it seems the behavioral indiscretions exhibited by Vick are extending themselves to pretty much [continue reading...]
Posted on November 23rd, 2008
After embarrassing loss to Syracuse, furious Notre Dame demotes Charlie Weis to be head coach of Syracuse
SOUTH BEND, IN -- A disgusted Notre Dame athletic department, reeling from one of the worst defeats in school history, struck an unusual deal in which they've given their head [continue reading...]
Posted on November 22nd, 2008
Michigan’s Rodriguez: “You were serious about how much you want to beat Ohio State?”
COLUMBUS, OH -- Shortly following a 42-7 drubbing at the hands of the Ohio State University, University of Michigan Wolverines head coach Rich Rodriguez was stunned at the angry reaction [continue reading...]
Posted on November 22nd, 2008
Man basically staring at Cole Hamels’ Wikipedia page all day
PHILADELPHIA, PA—Area man Steven Kensworth, has, according to friends and coworkers basically been staring at Cole Hamels’ Wikipedia article for the better part of the last two weeks, and [continue reading...]
Posted on November 22nd, 2008
Ryan Howard is nailing chicks as if he won the MVP
PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Albert Pujols may have the National League MVP trophy, but Ryan Howard is absolutely nailing chicks like he's the NLMVP. "He's definitely exhibiting some MVP-level sexuality right now," [continue reading...]
Posted on November 21st, 2008
2012 London Olympics to be made in China
ZURICH, SWITZERLAND - In a only semi-shocking announcement, IOC President Jacque Rogge announced that while the "2012 Olympics would be held in London, they would be 100% Made in China." Rogge [continue reading...]
Posted on November 21st, 2008
Obama to spend entire day Friday giving sports advice to others
WASHINGTON, DC -- President-elect Barack Obama is spending Friday working on helping out the nation's sporting scene by blasting out free and unsolicited advice to various leagues, teams and athletes. [continue reading...]
Posted on November 21st, 2008
Madsen seen checking out a Playboy magazine at Los Angeles Public Library
LOS ANGELES, CA -- T-Wolves and former Lakers backup center Mark Madsen is facing a lot of criticism today after a passerby noticed him in the Los Angeles Public Library, [continue reading...]
Posted on November 20th, 2008
Obama proposes playoff to determine Secretary of State; Hillary Clinton slated for the play-in game
WASHINGTON, DC -- Barack Obama has taken his desire to see a BCS playoff to the extreme today, proposing an unusual playoff system to determine who will be the nation's [continue reading...]
Posted on November 20th, 2008
Brady Quinn voted NFL’s “prettiest player” for tenth week in a row
CLEVELAND, OH -- Brady Quinn's good fortune is continuing. Days after leading the Cleveland Browns to a win for his first NFL win, Quinn was voted as the NFL's prettiest [continue reading...]
Posted on November 20th, 2008
Syracuse thinking about signing Matt Millen as football coach
SYRACUSE, NY -- Syracuse University is considering hiring former Detroit Lions GM Matt Millen as their head football coach, in an attempt to revitalize their sagging program. "We feel like Matt [continue reading...]
Posted on November 20th, 2008
Pedroia making Youkilis carry his MVP award around
BOSTON, MA--Red Sox Second baseman Dustin Pedroia became just the 2nd second baseman in the past 50 years to win the AL MVP Award. Pedroia was almost moved to tears [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2008
Stern attributes dress code to increase in quality of crime
NEW YORK, NY -- When David Stern institutes the controversial NBA dress code a couple seasons ago, he never thought it would work this fast. "It's only been a couple [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2008
SEC decides Cuban’s punishment: he must purchase the Chicago Cubs
NEW YORK, NY -- In what will stand forever as a unique example of professional sports leagues and the federal government cooperating, a committee convened by the SEC, MLB and [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2008
McNabb also didn’t know what to do with weird brown thingamajig
PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Donovan McNabb revealed to reporters that he as stunned and amazed that NFL games could end in ties after Sunday's 13-13 deadlock against the Cincinnati Bengals. [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2008
Confused voters mistakenly choose Pedroia as MVP
BOSTON, MA -- Many baseball writers around the country have egg on their face today, and are trying desperately to explain themselves, after failing to understand the rules governing MVP [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2008
Pujols told he’s MVP — responds, “Of the Cardinals?”
ST. LOUIS, MO -- When he found out he was named MVP, Albert Pujols was floored. "I honestly cannot believe this honor," Pujols said. "I'm so thankful to my teammates [continue reading...]
Posted on November 18th, 2008
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