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Defiant atheist continues to use the term ‘Devil Rays’

JACKSONVILLE, FL -- Local atheist John Meyers has launched a subtle and moderately passive-aggressive protest as more and more attention is focused on the success of the Tampa Bay Rays [continue reading...]

Posted on October 13th, 2008

Vitale so excited about the Rays that he’s just walking around yelling all the time and saying these ridiculous phrases

TAMPA BAY, FL -- Dick Vitale, who has been a Tampa Bay Rays season ticket holder since the team's move to the Tampa area, is so excited about the Rays' [continue reading...]

Posted on October 12th, 2008

Hockey players fight over politics with Palin in attendance

PHILADELPHIA, PA—The Philadelphia Flyers season-opener against New York made a few extra headlines than usual, thanks to the appearance of Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, a self-described “hockey mom”, who [continue reading...]

Posted on October 12th, 2008

Mayor of Poughkeepsie invites Cole Hamels to son’s wedding

POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y.—Stuart Weinstein, the mayor of Poughkeepsie, has reportedly invited Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels to attend his son’s wedding, in spite of the fact that Hamels has never met [continue reading...]

Posted on October 10th, 2008

Oden misses first preseason game with temporary blindness following 50th birthday party

oden

PORTLAND -- It was supposed to be the long-awaited debut of Greg Oden on the national stage. Instead, it will have to wait. Oden sat out yesterday's preseason game with temporary [continue reading...]

Posted on October 10th, 2008

Zambrano to take statistics at Northwestern

zambrano

CHICAGO -- The Chicago Cubs' early exit from the playoffs this year has brought with it a silver lining for at least one player. Carlos Zambrano has announced that he will [continue reading...]

Posted on October 10th, 2008

Hockey blogger gets record traffic on first day of NHL season

VANCOUVER, CA -- Describing it as "something like he's never seen before," John Madsen was ecstatic Thursday night while watching the amazing traffic to his hockey-focused blog on the first [continue reading...]

Posted on October 9th, 2008

God apologizes to Jews for scheduling Yom Kippur during Hamels start

PHILADELPHIA and HEAVEN -- A remorseful God, already reeling from a very taxing Day of Atonement, issued a tearful apology to the world's Jews for a scheduling snafu which saw [continue reading...]

Posted on October 9th, 2008

Alexander Ovechkin tells family he’s going on extended business trip (again)

MOSCOW, RUSSIA—With the start of the NHL season approaching, many players and coaches are taking the time to enjoy the remaining free time they have with friends and family, knowing [continue reading...]

Posted on October 9th, 2008

B.J. Upton benched for remainder of playoffs for lack of hustle during post-game celebration

TAMPA BAY, FL -- A distraught Joe Maddon told reporters that B.J. Upton had left him "no choice," and that the Rays star centerfielder would be benched for the remainder [continue reading...]

Posted on October 8th, 2008

Harold Reynolds eliminated from playoffs

CHICAGO, IL -- After a hard fought American League Divisoin series, Harold Reynolds has reluctantly accepted the reality that's he's out of the playoffs. As the visiting Tampa Bay [continue reading...]

Posted on October 8th, 2008

Burress was in DC last week helping on bailout plan

NEW YORK, NY and WASHINGTON, DC -- When Plaxico Burress received a week-long suspension from the New York Giants, he didn't pout. Instead, he did what champions do--he went to [continue reading...]

Posted on October 8th, 2008

Yankee stadium to be destroyed with 55,000 Yankee fans inside

NEW YORK -- Joey DiMarino was thrilled when he checked his mail last week and found an unexpected surprise. "I never would have expected it," said DiMarino, 28, of East Rutherford, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 6th, 2008

Florida Marlins apply to Extreme Home Makeover

MIAMI -- In desperate hopes of revitalizing their broken down stadium, the Florida Marlins have applied to Extreme Home Makeover in hopes of getting the hit ABC show to build [continue reading...]

Posted on October 6th, 2008

Sabathia loses control; weight expected to balloon.

MILWAUKEE, WI--Fresh off his disappointing performance in the Brewers' opening-round elimination, CC Sabathia has vanished, leaving friends and family concerned about the ace's weight and safety. ''It's no secret CC has [continue reading...]

Posted on October 6th, 2008

Bush convenes Congress to figure out who he should start between LT2, Ronnie Brown, and Frank Gore

WASHINGTON, DC -- President George W. Bush made an extremely unorthodox and frankly unprecedented move in the annals of American history Saturday, calling both houses of Congress together for an [continue reading...]

Posted on October 4th, 2008

Cubs infielders mad at Zambrano for inducing so many groundballs

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN CHICAGO AND LOS ANGELES -- As the Chicago Cubs traveled toward Los Angeles down two games to none against the Los Angeles Dodgers, several of the Cubs' infielders [continue reading...]

Posted on October 3rd, 2008

Colts would like Peyton Manning to be a little more folksy, like Sarah Palin

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- The Indianapolis Colts, less than two years removed from a Super Bowl title, have made an unusual request to quarterback Peyton Manning. "Yes, we did make a request [continue reading...]

Posted on October 3rd, 2008

Sarah Palin told Travis Henry that selling cocaine was legal

BILLINGS, MT -- Embattled former Denver Broncos running back, facing drug trafficking charges from the federal government, has an unusual excuse for his behavior. According to Henry, Republican vice presidential [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2008

Philadelphia fan commits ritual suicide after dominant start by Cole Hamels

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Cole Hamels dominated the Brewers for eight innings yesterday, propelling the Phillies to a 1-0 lead in their best-of-five playoff series, and tragically ending the life of [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2008

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