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Dustin Clodgo Archives

Albert Pujols tearfully admits cheating

ST LOUIS, MO--In the wake of Alex Rodriguez’s revelation, St. Louis Cardinals first baseman and superstar extraordinaire Albert Pujols called a press conference today to come clean. Pujols slunk [continue reading...]

Posted on March 14th, 2009

Following tie, Andy Reid seen making out with sister

PHILADELPHIA, PA — The City of Brotherly Love took a disturbing and literal turn today, when Eagles Head Coach Andy Reid was spotted making out with his sister on Broad [continue reading...]

Posted on November 23rd, 2008

Pedroia making Youkilis carry his MVP award around

BOSTON, MA--Red Sox Second baseman Dustin Pedroia became just the 2nd second baseman in the past 50 years to win the AL MVP Award. Pedroia was almost moved to tears [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2008

Texas Tech fan totally fakes out God and jinxes Penn State

PITTSBURGH, PA -- Local banker and Texas Tech alumnus/fan Dave Greene held a news conference Saturday night, on the heels of Penn State’s devastating, disgusting, and demoralizing defeat at the [continue reading...]

Posted on November 8th, 2008

Bowden puts out a hit on JoePa

TALLAHASSEE, FL -- It’s no surprise that in recent years, a rejuvenated Joe Paterno and his Penn State Nittany Lions have retaken the lead for the most wins by a [continue reading...]

Posted on November 1st, 2008

Rich Rodriguez thought he could bring his old team with him to Michigan, was wrong

ANN ARBOR, MI — New Michigan Wolverines coach Rich Rodriguez’s debut campaign has been anything but a fairy tale. After losing to rival Michigan State and two non-BCS teams [continue reading...]

Posted on October 31st, 2008

Tom Brady’s rehab plan is basically to bang a bunch of supermodels

FOXBORO, MA -- Monday was a grim day for the fans of the New England Patriots. In what has become know and the "second shot heard 'round the world" the [continue reading...]

Posted on September 10th, 2008

Co-worker won’t shut up about picking Michael Turner in the 10th round

HERSHEY, PA -- Lavar Dickerson has enraged his fellow co-workers with his non-stop bragging about how he stole Atlanta Falcons RB Michael "The Burner" Turner in the 10th round of [continue reading...]

Posted on September 9th, 2008

Lee Corso puts on Nick Saban’s head when making prediction

SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUTHERN PART OF THE UNITED STATES--ESPN’s College Gameday analyst Lee Corso’s signature head gear promotion to end each College Gameday broadcast took a morbid turn Saturday, when [continue reading...]

Posted on September 4th, 2008

St. Louis Cardinals bench Matt Leinart

ST. LOUIS, MO -- St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa shocked the world today by announcing that he was proactively benching Matt Leinart in favor of and older, more experienced [continue reading...]

Posted on September 4th, 2008

Astros put down El Caballo

HOUSTON, TX -- Astros Owner Drayton McLane and General Manager Ed Wade hung their heads in collective sorrow at a news conference this morning from the Astros Press Room. "Carlos [continue reading...]

Posted on August 13th, 2008

Sabathia-Fielder combo devastating to Milwaukee buffet owners

MILWAUKEE, WI -- The recent acquisition of pitcher CC Sabathia has sent Milwaukee all-you-can-eat buffet owners running for the hills. "Prince Fielder was bad enough, but at least he was [continue reading...]

Posted on August 12th, 2008

Dodgers to force Andruw Jones to take steroids

LOS ANGELES, CA -- In a controversial move, Dodgers General Manager Ned Colletti has issued an executive order requiring that Andruw Jones immediately begin taking a regiment of steroids. "I [continue reading...]

Posted on August 11th, 2008

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