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Actual communications involving actual athletes Archives

Dominican baseballer A-Rod responds to charges — “No hablo Ingles.”

NEW YORK -- Controversy exploded this weekend when Dominican-American baseballer Alex Rodriguez was accused of using steroids. Rodriguez, widely considered the greatest player in the game, went into seclusion virtually immediately. [continue reading...]

Posted on February 9th, 2009

Lebron James furious about all these damn emails from David Plouffe and Barack Obama

CLEVELAND, OH -- Lebron James checks his email about three times a day, and he's getting pretty sick of seeing the words "Plouffe" and "Obama" every time. "I donated $25 to [continue reading...]

Posted on December 16th, 2008

Special to SSNN: Letter to the Editor from God regarding Kurt Warner-love

This is a special letter received by SSNN via tablet this morning. Dear Readers of SSNN: God here. Just want to let you know that I indeed was responsible for the [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2008

Transcript of an audio recording capturing an exchange between Ken Whisenhunt and Kurt Warner of the Arizona Cardinals

[The following is an audio recording capturing an exchange between Arizona Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt and Cardinals QB Kurt Warner] Kurt Warner: “Hey coach…” Ken Whisenhunt: “Hey Kurt, how’s [continue reading...]

Posted on September 2nd, 2008

Actual email from President Bush regarding the commution of Marion “Pacman” Jones’ prison sentence

SSNN has obtained an exclusive email from President George W. Bush to White House Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten. Bush received a request from Olympic sprinter Marion Jones to commute [continue reading...]

Posted on August 6th, 2008

Twins prepare Liriano defenses

Only a few days after the Minnesota Twins were seemingly discovered to be conspiring to limit Francisco Liriano's service time, SSNN got a hold of an internal memo that [continue reading...]

Posted on July 31st, 2008

Email from George Bodenheimer to Roger Federer regarding proposed Wimbledon coverage

SSNN has obtained an exclusive communication from George Bodenheimer, president of ESPN, to Roger Federer, regarding Wimbledon. The text of the email is below. From: George Bodenheimer [espnsenor@yahoo.ca] Date: Thu, Jul [continue reading...]

Posted on July 3rd, 2008

Written statement prepared by Brett Favre regarding “un-retirement” rumors

SSNN has obtained a copy of an SMS exchange between Brett Favre and Green Bay Packers GM Ted Thompson regarding Favre's future with the Packers. FROM: Ted Thompson [414.555.1234] TO: Brett [continue reading...]

Posted on July 3rd, 2008

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