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NCAA to strip UCLA of at least seven titles

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Perhaps the most dominant run for any one team in any sport will soon become tarnished. At the urging of jealous university presidents across the country, [continue reading...]

Posted on February 21st, 2008

Paige fervently contesting Around the Horn record

DENVER, CO -- Loudmouth, on-again, off-again Denver Post columnist and ESPN personality Woody Paige claims his won-loss record on the hit show Around the Horn has been grossly and deliberately [continue reading...]

Posted on February 14th, 2008

Earnhardt regrets decision not to enter race

DAYTONA BEACH, FL – Though his year in NASCAR got off to a hot start with a win at the Budweiser Shootout, the story after Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s season-opening victory [continue reading...]

Posted on February 11th, 2008

Knight excited for opportunity to verbally abuse wife, grandchildren

LUBBOCK, TX -- Though he told Jay Bilas yesterday on ESPN that he doesn't consider his resignation from Texas Tech to officially be a retirement, Bobby Knight explained to SSNN [continue reading...]

Posted on February 6th, 2008

Clemens tells Congress same story as 60 Minutes, press

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After appearances from Chuck Knoblauch and Andy Pettitte in the last week, the congressional committee looking into the Mitchell Report deposed Roger Clemens today regarding [continue reading...]

Posted on February 5th, 2008

New England chef admits he didn’t “leave it all in the kitchen”

GLENDALE, AZ -- In the aftermath of the New England Patriots' disappointing Super Bowl loss, fingers of blame are being pointed willy-nilly throughout the organization. Few Patriot staffers, [continue reading...]

Posted on February 4th, 2008

Charges dropped against Curry, incident ruled self defense

CHICAGO, IL -- When Chicago Bulls second-round draft pick JamesOn Curry was arrested and charged with misdemeanor counts of urinating in public and resisting arrest on Jan. 18 in Boise, [continue reading...]

Posted on February 1st, 2008

UFC to promote Majerus, Burke clash

ST. LOUIS, MO -- St. Louis University head basketball coach Rick Majerus and Archbishop of St. Louis Raymond Burke will soon get the chance to settle their religious feud, by [continue reading...]

Posted on February 1st, 2008

Randy Moss reportedly tells accuser ‘watch Super Bowl to see real beating’

GLENDALE, AZ -- According to inside sources with the New England Patriots, Randy Moss has had several conversations with the woman who accused him of hitting her. "Yeah, Randy talked [continue reading...]

Posted on January 31st, 2008

Entire Baylor team misses exam following five-OT thriller

WACO, TX -- The instant euphoria that surrounded the Baylor Bears basketball team late last Wednesday night was reduced to nothing more than utter, hangover-induced disappointment by early Thursday morning. [continue reading...]

Posted on January 29th, 2008

Bonds blown away by size of indictment

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- A stunned Barry Bonds apparently cannot get over how enormous the indictment against him for perjury is. "I mean, seriously, that thing is hundreds of pages [continue reading...]

Posted on January 29th, 2008

Pearl blames Vols’ loss on poor attire decision

KNOXVILLE, TN -- Tennessee head basketball coach Bruce Pearl spent the latter part of Tuesday night and all day Wednesday and Thursday grasping for answers as to how his fifth-ranked [continue reading...]

Posted on January 25th, 2008

Wife of Pats’ Seymour says husband not dirty, just “a little kinky”

FOXBORO, MA -- Tonya Seymour, wife of Patriots defensive lineman Richard Seymour, today defended her husband against allegations that he's a dirty player. "My husband is not a dirty player," [continue reading...]

Posted on January 24th, 2008

Brady sex appeal too much for Chargers in fourth quarter

FOXBORO, MA -- The San Diego Chargers were able to challenge the undefeated New England Patriots for much of the AFC Championship game on Sunday, but ultimately were unable to [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2008

New, foolproof system developed to predict Super Bowl winner

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- A group of Harvard grad students, who claimed to have found a foolproof system for predicting football scores, may have experienced some setbacks. The group of young [continue reading...]

Posted on January 18th, 2008

Carroll agrees to Falcons’ proposal on one condition

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Sources tell SSNN that USC head coach Pete Carroll spoke at length with Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank via phone Thursday evening about the Falcons' head [continue reading...]

Posted on January 11th, 2008

LSU’s Dorsey “freaking out” over potential Whopper departure

BATON ROUGE, LA -- Monday night's convincing 38-24 victory in the BCS National Championship seems to be the last thing on Glenn Dorsey's mind right now. LSU's All-American defensive tackle [continue reading...]

Posted on January 9th, 2008

Surgeon removed ‘ear-like’ growth from Clemens’ forehead

NEW YORK, NY -- A plastic surgeon who spoke with SSNN investigators on the condition of anonymity said he removed a growth from the forehead of Roger Clemens early in [continue reading...]

Posted on January 8th, 2008

Peyton Manning audibles out of wife’s book club

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Preparing for next week's playoff game, Colts quarterback Peyton Manning may have already made his most important call of the season. The NFL star demonstrated his mastery [continue reading...]

Posted on January 7th, 2008

Mangino to go on all-orange diet

MIAMI, FL -- After a mildly surprising 24-21 Orange Bowl win over Virginia Tech, Kansas head football coach Mark Mangino announced his plans to diet by eating only oranges for [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2008

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