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Washington Wizards Archives

Arenas forced to drop “Black President” nickname

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With Barack Obama's Tuesday inauguration as America's first African-American president, Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas has had to come to some tough realizations. "All of a sudden, [continue reading...]

Posted on January 28th, 2009

Obama wears Bernard King jersey to White House; has to turn it inside out

WASHINGTON, DC -- An attempt to forge some solidarity with his new neighbors backfired for President-elect Barack Obama this week, when he was forced to turn inside-out the throwback Bernard [continue reading...]

Posted on January 13th, 2009

Obama hopes to bring an NBA team to Washington DC

WASHINGTON, DC -- Barack Obama loves basketball; this much has been well-documented. What has not yet been made public is Washington, DC's newest resident's plans for basketball in the nation's capital. "I [continue reading...]

Posted on November 25th, 2008

Gilbert Arenas renting out his house on Craigslist during Inauguration Week

WASHINGTON, DC -- Even though Gilbert Arenas can no longer solely lay claim to the nickname "Black President," he's still found a way to benefit from the inauguration. [continue reading...]

Posted on November 13th, 2008

Wizards win “Gayest Name in NBA” again

WASHINGTON, DC -- For the fifth consecutive year, the Washington Wizards have won the "Gayest Name in the NBA" award, league sources have told SSNN. The selection will become official [continue reading...]

Posted on April 28th, 2008

Concept of NBA Lottery patiently explained to Gilbert Arenas after attempted purchase of tickets

WASHINGTON, DC -- NBA star Gilbert Arenas was reportedly seen in a Washington, D.C. 7-11 insisting that he had a "really good feeling" about the upcoming NBA Lottery. Displaying crossed [continue reading...]

Posted on April 2nd, 2008

Arenas ready to play after excess ego drained from knee

WASHINGTON, D.C. –- For the second time in three weeks, Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas had to have excess ego removed from his knee. "Gil had a little extra ego that [continue reading...]

Posted on November 9th, 2007

Gilbert Arenas to unveil new “Twilight Zone” defense

WASHINGTON, DC- The Washington Wizards' Gilbert Arenas has announced he will change the face of zone defense for this season. "We are supposed to cover one-on-one in the pros, but I'm [continue reading...]

Posted on November 2nd, 2007

Agent Zero finds religion – or is it science?

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the last several years, Gilbert Arenas has quickly become one of the NBA's elite superstars. He is seen by most as a quirky, enigmatic player that [continue reading...]

Posted on May 5th, 2007

Cavs make postseason acquisition

CLEVELAND, OH – Before Sunday's playoff win over the Washington Wizards, the Cleveland [continue reading...]

Posted on April 22nd, 2007

Cavs jump Bulls for first-round bye

CLEVELAND, OH -- Going into Wednesday night, the Chicago Bulls only needed to beat the New Jersey Nets to secure the second seed in the Eastern Conference Playoffs. Instead, they put [continue reading...]

Posted on April 20th, 2007

Arenas frustrated by “team-first approach”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After starting in the NBA All-Star game for the first time, Gilbert Arenas has been frustrated since his return to the Washington Wizards. "To tell you the [continue reading...]

Posted on February 21st, 2007

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