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USA Basketball Archives

ARCHIVES: Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. LOS ANGELES, CA -- Finally breaking his silence about Shaquille O'Neal's controversial freestyle rap, Kobe Bryant revealed to SSNN that – not [continue reading...]

Posted on November 20th, 2008

NBA to PETA: “Tell me how my ass tastes”

NEW YORK -- Just a year after NBA's on-again off-again synthetic ball fiasco, the league has again come face to face with PETA over it's insistence on using leather balls [continue reading...]

Posted on September 14th, 2008

New York teen unimpressed with “Redeem Team” victory

HARLEM, N.Y. -- Terrell Robinson doesn't get what all the fuss is about. Robinson, 17, of Harlem, watched with interest last week as the United States basketball "Redeem Team" handled their [continue reading...]

Posted on August 29th, 2008

Paul impresses with genuine interest in other cultures during Olympics

BEIJING, CHINA -- Though Chris Paul's performance on the basketball court was less than spectacular during the Olympic games, but his coaches and teammates from the "Redeem Team" have praised [continue reading...]

Posted on August 25th, 2008

Anthony on China: Everyone is talking “crazy talk”

BEIJING, CHINA -- Carmelo Anthony called his family Tuesday and reported that "everyone in China be talkin' crazy talk," SSNN has learned. "Everyone here speaks gobbledeegoop and bananamannah," Anthony reportedly said. [continue reading...]

Posted on August 20th, 2008

1992 Dream Teamer to join 2008 Olympic basketball team

BEIJING, CHINA -- With the Olympics already underway, the United States basketball team has made a surprise announcement – they are going to be joined by a member of the [continue reading...]

Posted on August 10th, 2008

ESPN scrambling for Wednesday programming

BRISTOL, CT -- With the trade of Brett Favre from the Green Bay Packers to the New York Jets completed late last night, panic struck at ESPN headquarters. "Boy, was that [continue reading...]

Posted on August 7th, 2008

Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Finally breaking his silence about Shaquille O'Neal's controversial freestyle rap, Kobe Bryant revealed to SSNN that – not surprisingly – he's unhappy with his former teammate's [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

Olympic basketball team hoping Kidd will help avoid gold

CHICAGO, IL -- Late Tuesday Olympic basketball head coach Mike Krzyzewski announced that aging point guard Jason Kidd, last seen being roasted alive by Chris Paul in the NBA playoffs, [continue reading...]

Posted on June 19th, 2008

James suffering from paronychia

CLEVELAND, OH -- As if being swept in the NBA Finals wasn't bad enough for LeBron James, he is now suffering from a severe case of paronychia. James is known [continue reading...]

Posted on July 16th, 2007

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