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US President Archives

Arenas forced to drop “Black President” nickname

Arenas recently learned he has to give up his “Black President” nickname.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With Barack Obama's Tuesday inauguration as America's first African-American president, Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas has had to come to some tough realizations. "All of a sudden, [continue reading...]

Posted on January 28th, 2009

George W. Bush no longer feeling guilty about managing his fantasy baseball team for 8-10 hours a day

CRAWFORD, TX -- Four days removed from his eight-year term as President of the United States of America, a seemingly happy-go-lucky George W. Bush is feeling a lot better about [continue reading...]

Posted on January 24th, 2009

CBS decision to ring in Obama presidency with “One Shining Moment” montage proves controversial

CBS thought it wise to use “One Shining Moment” for their Obama montage… Oops.

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After spending most of the day Tuesday covering the inauguration of new US President Barack Obama, CBS television used the evening and all night to [continue reading...]

Posted on January 23rd, 2009

Obama to throw out first pitch at Sox opener; Cubs get Sarah Palin

CHICAGO, IL -- In the immediate aftermath of the US Presidential Election, Chicago White Sox general manager Kenny Williams invited President-Elect Barack Obama to throw out the first pitch of [continue reading...]

Posted on December 25th, 2008

McCain throws red challenge flag on election

John McCain has thrown his red challenge flag.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Nearly a month and a half after the final results were tallied, Republican Presidential candidate John McCain has thrown his red challenge flag on the 2008 Election. "After [continue reading...]

Posted on December 16th, 2008

Jay Cutler makes surprise appearance at Democratic National Convention

It’s hard to tell if Cutler is high or just dumb-looking.

DENVER, CO -- Jay Cutler turned the Democratic National Convention on its ear Wednesday night when he made a surprise appearance following Joe Biden's speech. Cutler, who had been walking the [continue reading...]

Posted on August 28th, 2008

Obama asks to have fantasy football draft rescheduled for third time

Obama’s fantasy football league is causing him a lot of stress these days.

DENVER, CO -- Barack Obama's fantasy football leaguemates are growing tired of his antics, and are thinking about taking some real corrective action against the Illinois senator-turned-presidential candidate. "For the third [continue reading...]

Posted on August 27th, 2008

Passing of trade deadline allows President Bush to focus more on politics

Bush now has a few months left where his primary focus will be on the Presidency.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- August 25 has come and gone, and President Bush has informed his staff and the nation at large that he's "now ready to really get back to [continue reading...]

Posted on August 26th, 2008

Favre surprised, hurt that he’s not on McCain VP short list

Favre is really sad that he’s not a VP candidate.

NEW YORK, NY -- A disgruntled Brett Favre told reporters Thursday morning that he is "a little surprised and hurt" that he's not being seriously considered as a potential running [continue reading...]

Posted on August 14th, 2008

Bush learns that waterboarding is not an Olympic sport

It’s not hard to believe that a guy who looks like this is as dumb as rocks.

BEIJING, CHINA -- U.S. President George W. Bush had an embarrassing moment today during a sightseeing trip in China, when he was informed that waterboarding is not an Olympic sport [continue reading...]

Posted on August 12th, 2008

Clinton selects Lenny Dykstra as running mate

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Hoping to regain the upper hand in the fight for the Democratic presidential nomination, Hillary Clinton today selected former Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra as her running [continue reading...]

Posted on March 20th, 2008

Earnhardt regrets decision not to enter race

DAYTONA BEACH, FL – Though his year in NASCAR got off to a hot start with a win at the Budweiser Shootout, the story after Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s season-opening victory [continue reading...]

Posted on February 11th, 2008

Dubya places misguided congratulatory call to Patriots

WASHINGTON D.C.- As George "Dubya" Bush limps towards the final stage of his presidency, he will face what is sure to be less-than-pleasant response from the New York Giant faithful. [continue reading...]

Posted on February 4th, 2008

Giuliani endorses McCain for Redskins head coaching job

SIMI VALLEY, CA -- Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani endorsed his "friend and fellow Republican" John McCain for the position of head coach of the Washington Redskins on Wednesday, in [continue reading...]

Posted on January 31st, 2008

Knicks to stage mock presidential debate

NEW YORK, NY -- Almost as soon as the idea came forth, Isiah Thomas called "dibbs!" "I got Barack Obama," Thomas shouted nearly instantly after the New York Knicks decided they [continue reading...]

Posted on December 6th, 2007

Obama and McCain propose using BCS rankings to determine Presidency

DES MOINES, IA -- As the 2008 presidential race heats up, an interesting proposal has emerged from an unlikely source. According to reports, democratic candidate Barack Obama and struggling republican candidate [continue reading...]

Posted on November 17th, 2007

Jenna Bush announces engagement to Gilbert Arenas

WASHINGTON, DC -- It's going to be a DC wedding, that's for sure. Early Tuesday, Jenna Bush – one of President George W. Bush's two daughters – announced her [continue reading...]

Posted on August 28th, 2007

Paterno lets loose on Lincoln

UNIVERSITY PARK, PA -- After years of biting his tongue when the subject came up, Penn State football coach Joe Paterno apparently decided Wednesday was the time for the truth [continue reading...]

Posted on May 24th, 2007

Etheredge joins Bush administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Dick Cheney was on hand today to introduce the newest member of President George W. Bush's cabinet to the media - former Terrell Owens publicist [continue reading...]

Posted on February 23rd, 2007

Hayes, Dorn project as D-Ray contributors

ST. PETERSBURG -- With pitchers and catchers set to report to camp on Friday, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays released a list of non-roster invitees that includes a few familiar [continue reading...]

Posted on February 13th, 2007