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US President Archives
Jay Cutler makes surprise appearance at Democratic National Convention
DENVER, CO -- Jay Cutler turned the Democratic National Convention on its ear Wednesday night when he made a surprise appearance following Joe Biden's speech. Cutler, who had been walking the [continue reading...]
Posted on August 28th, 2008
Obama asks to have fantasy football draft rescheduled for third time
DENVER, CO -- Barack Obama's fantasy football leaguemates are growing tired of his antics, and are thinking about taking some real corrective action against the Illinois senator-turned-presidential candidate. "For the third [continue reading...]
Posted on August 27th, 2008
Passing of trade deadline allows President Bush to focus more on politics
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- August 25 has come and gone, and President Bush has informed his staff and the nation at large that he's "now ready to really get back to [continue reading...]
Posted on August 26th, 2008
Favre surprised, hurt that he’s not on McCain VP short list
NEW YORK, NY -- A disgruntled Brett Favre told reporters Thursday morning that he is "a little surprised and hurt" that he's not being seriously considered as a potential running [continue reading...]
Posted on August 14th, 2008
Bush learns that waterboarding is not an Olympic sport
BEIJING, CHINA -- U.S. President George W. Bush had an embarrassing moment today during a sightseeing trip in China, when he was informed that waterboarding is not an Olympic sport [continue reading...]
Posted on August 12th, 2008
Clinton selects Lenny Dykstra as running mate
PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Hoping to regain the upper hand in the fight for the Democratic presidential nomination, Hillary Clinton today selected former Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra as her running [continue reading...]
Posted on March 20th, 2008
Earnhardt regrets decision not to enter race
DAYTONA BEACH, FL – Though his year in NASCAR got off to a hot start with a win at the Budweiser Shootout, the story after Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s season-opening victory [continue reading...]
Posted on February 11th, 2008
Dubya places misguided congratulatory call to Patriots
WASHINGTON D.C.- As George "Dubya" Bush limps towards the final stage of his presidency, he will face what is sure to be less-than-pleasant response from the New York Giant faithful. [continue reading...]
Posted on February 4th, 2008
Giuliani endorses McCain for Redskins head coaching job
SIMI VALLEY, CA -- Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani endorsed his "friend and fellow Republican" John McCain for the position of head coach of the Washington Redskins on Wednesday, in [continue reading...]
Posted on January 31st, 2008
Knicks to stage mock presidential debate
NEW YORK, NY -- Almost as soon as the idea came forth, Isiah Thomas called "dibbs!" "I got Barack Obama," Thomas shouted nearly instantly after the New York Knicks decided they [continue reading...]
Posted on December 6th, 2007
Obama and McCain propose using BCS rankings to determine Presidency
DES MOINES, IA -- As the 2008 presidential race heats up, an interesting proposal has emerged from an unlikely source. According to reports, democratic candidate Barack Obama and struggling republican candidate [continue reading...]
Posted on November 17th, 2007
Jenna Bush announces engagement to Gilbert Arenas
WASHINGTON, DC -- It's going to be a DC wedding, that's for sure. Early Tuesday, Jenna Bush – one of President George W. Bush's two daughters – announced her [continue reading...]
Posted on August 28th, 2007
Paterno lets loose on Lincoln
UNIVERSITY PARK, PA -- After years of biting his tongue when the subject came up, Penn State football coach Joe Paterno apparently decided Wednesday was the time for the truth [continue reading...]
Posted on May 24th, 2007
Etheredge joins Bush administration
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Dick Cheney was on hand today to introduce the newest member of President George W. Bush's cabinet to the media - former Terrell Owens publicist [continue reading...]
Posted on February 23rd, 2007
Hayes, Dorn project as D-Ray contributors
ST. PETERSBURG -- With pitchers and catchers set to report to camp on Friday, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays released a list of non-roster invitees that includes a few familiar [continue reading...]
Posted on February 13th, 2007
Art Shell forms presidential exploratory committee
OAKLAND, CA -- Reporters flocked to Oakland Monday, upon hearing an announcement that Art Shell had made his decision. It turns out, they may need to wait a few more days. Shell [continue reading...]
Posted on January 19th, 2007
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