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United States Archives

Collective Yawn Goes Unheard

Miami, FL -- Government agencies along the East Coast of the United States have reported a previously uncharted seismic occurrence. Newly developed technology designed to measure the effect of [continue reading...]

Posted on March 22nd, 2009

France declares war on Detroit Lions, ends 120-year losing streak

DETROIT, MI—Lions officials are reeling today after a surprise attack by France, in which French forces besieged and captured all Lions property within the city of Detroit. French paratroopers landed [continue reading...]

Posted on January 7th, 2009

U.S. hires Bill Belichick to clean up Iraq

BAGHDAD--Hoping to restructure and strengthen American and Iraqi Defenses, the US Government announced that it will send Bill Belichick to Iraq at the end of [continue reading...]

Posted on October 18th, 2007

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