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trades Archives

Man sends wife passive-aggressive trade offers in fantasy league following domestic dispute

HARRISBURG, PA -- David DelMonico, 44, thought that inviting his wife to join his fantasy league might be a bad idea when he extended the invite pre-season. "We've got a real [continue reading...]

Posted on August 31st, 2008

Passing of trade deadline allows President Bush to focus more on politics

Bush now has a few months left where his primary focus will be on the Presidency.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- August 25 has come and gone, and President Bush has informed his staff and the nation at large that he's "now ready to really get back to [continue reading...]

Posted on August 26th, 2008

“Manny being Manny” excuse infuriating to mother of 13-year-old Long Island boy

Emmanuel “Manny” Leiftowitz looks nothing like this.

MANHASSET, NY -- Rebecca Leiftowitz has had just about enough of her son Emmanuel "Manny" Leiftowitz's antics, and his excuses are starting to wear thin as well. "Emmanuel is such a [continue reading...]

Posted on August 6th, 2008

Epstein unable to deal with new Red Sox IT system

Epstein is now forced to use his Blackberry to check his fantasy team

BOSTON, MA -- With the trade deadline fast approaching, Boston Red Sox GM Theo Epstein would like to be wheeling and dealing, trying to improve his team for a stretch [continue reading...]

Posted on July 30th, 2008

Minaya focusing on fantasy team more than Mets

Minaya has more important things to worry about than the Mets

NEW YORK, NY -- Whether the New York Mets are willing to admit it or not, Aaron Heilman is unavailable. That is the report that is circulating through the league as [continue reading...]

Posted on July 29th, 2008

Confused Shockey thinks he was traded to the Dolphins

Shockey’s confusion may stem from the fact that he’s been wasted drunk since the Super Bowl.

MIAMI, FL -- A giddy Jeremy Shockey arrived in Florida hours ago, his head spinning with excitement at the prospect of joining the Miami Dolphins and performing again in the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 22nd, 2008

Parcells swayed by 2010 sixth-rounder

Somehow Bill is scarier when he’s happy than when he’s throwing a temper tantrum.

MIAMI, FL -- "One man's throw-in is another man's treasure," said a visibly enthused Bill Parcells, reeling with excitement after obtaining a 2009 second round pick and a 2010 sixth [continue reading...]

Posted on July 21st, 2008

Nets fans disappointed about 2010-11 Finals loss

LeBron’s potential arrival is not encouraging to Nets fans.

BROOKLYN, NY -- With a handful of draft-day maneuvers that added youth and unloaded big contracts, the New Jersey Nets – soon to be the Brooklyn Nets – appear to [continue reading...]

Posted on July 9th, 2008

Source: Sabathia demanded trade to Milwaukee

Sabathia’s neck is well on its way to disappearing.

CLEVELAND, OH – Mere hours after the trade of C.C. Sabathia to the Milwaukee Brewers was reported by ESPN's Buster Olney, sources within the Cleveland Indians organization say the team [continue reading...]

Posted on July 7th, 2008

O’Neal-for-Ford trade actually not a joke

JO is either shocked by the trade or indifferent towards basketball - could be either

TORONTO, ONTARIO, CANADA -- Despite early reports to the contrary, it now seems that the trade between the Toronto Raptors and Indiana Pacers involving Jermaine O'Neal and T.J. Ford is [continue reading...]

Posted on June 26th, 2008

Kobe demanding trade again after Game 4 loss

Kobe is going to make this face until he gets traded

LOS ANGELES, CA -- During a spectacular regular season that ended with the Lakers in the top spot in the Western Conference, and a playoff run that landed them in [continue reading...]

Posted on June 14th, 2008

Guillen says “fuck it,” pencils self into lineup

Guillen is making some changes for Wednesday

CHICAGO, IL -- Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen has taken yet another bizarre step in his managerial tenure: he says he will be in the starting lineup for Wednesday's [continue reading...]

Posted on June 4th, 2008

D’Antoni “can’t wait” to work with Marbury

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- During the press conference introducing him as the new head coach of the New York Knicks, Mike D'Antoni told reporters, "I can't wait to work [continue reading...]

Posted on May 16th, 2008

Chad Johnson requests trade to Dallas

CINCINNATI, OH -- In yet another twist to the epic drama that is Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson, the disgruntled star has named the team he wants to be [continue reading...]

Posted on April 25th, 2008

Jake Long demands trade from Dolphins

MIAMI, FL -- Miami Dolphins tackle Jake Long is not happy, and wants out. According to reports received by SSNN, the Michigan product – expected to be the first pick [continue reading...]

Posted on April 23rd, 2008

Isiah attempting to trade for Tiger

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In an attempt to save the floundering New York Knicks, embattled coach Isiah Thomas has contacted representatives of the PGA Tour, and is attempting to [continue reading...]

Posted on March 13th, 2008

BoSox trade Crisp for Lucky Charms

BOSTON, MA -- After weeks of speculation about whether he could reclaim his job as Red Sox center fielder from Jacoby Ellsbury, Coco Crisp was traded today to the Baltimore [continue reading...]

Posted on February 28th, 2008

Kidd trade involves Nets janitor and some old guy

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ -- After a preponderance of proposals and days of debate, the trade between the New Jersey Nets and the Dallas Mavericks surrounding Jason Kidd has finally been [continue reading...]

Posted on February 20th, 2008

Riley, Heat unsure if they can match 15-game slide in second half

MIAMI, FL -- The Miami Heat lost their ninth straight game, 99-92 to the Chicago Bulls, on the Thursday before this NBA All-Star Weekend, but Pat Riley isn't so sure [continue reading...]

Posted on February 17th, 2008

Phillies’ fans, players still devastated by Geary trade

CLEARWATER, FL -- Angered by an early off-season trade, many Phillies fans are considering boycotting the team's spring training in sunny Clearwater, Fla. "No way I can go down there and [continue reading...]

Posted on February 13th, 2008

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