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Tour de France Archives

Lance Armstrong goes for bike ride in France, ends up unretired

PARIS, FRANCE—A pleasant bikeride through the Parisian countryside quickly became awkward for Lance Armstrong, when rumors began to spread that the famous cyclist was returning to professional competition. “I thought [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2008

LANCE ARMSTRONG ASSUMED THE TOUR DE FRANCE WAS CANCELED IN HIS ABSENCE

AUSTIN, TX—Lance Armstrong, seven-time Tour de France winner and noted cancer activist, has decided to un-retire and reenter the world of professional cycling in the hopes that his doing so [continue reading...]

Posted on September 10th, 2008

Tour de France reportedly over, someone presumably won

CHICAGO, IL -- North side resident Bill Meyer has suddenly realized that the Tour de France, the biggest prize in international cycling, "probably ended a couple weeks ago," but also [continue reading...]

Posted on August 14th, 2008

Apparently there is some big bike race going on in Europe right now

SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE -- In late-breaking news, SSNN has learned that apparently there is an enormous bicycle race going on in Europe right now, and that there are a handful [continue reading...]

Posted on July 27th, 2008

Steroid prices to reach all-time high as demand increases

NEW YORK, NY -- Wall Street analysts are predicting a steep increase in the price of anabolic steroids worldwide due to increased demand this summer, with some market watchers are [continue reading...]

Posted on July 11th, 2008

Tour de France to have “juicer” and “non-juicer” fields

PARIS, FRANCE -- The Tour de France is the world's most famous cycling event. Covering more than three weeks and 1,800 miles, the event is brutal on both the body [continue reading...]

Posted on April 22nd, 2008

Tour de France cyclist allegedly riding clean

FRANCE -- Italian cyclist Enrico Degano has faced scrutiny from the Italian press for apparently not using performance enhancing drugs to aid his performance in the Tour de France. [continue reading...]

Posted on July 14th, 2007

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