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Tiger Woods Archives

Woods seeks to renegotiate pact with Satan after disappointing loss

DORAL, FL -- After a disappointing fifth-place finish in the CA Championship at Doral, Tiger Woods has reportedly been seen at the crossroads, seeking out Old Harry (a.k.a. the Devil) [continue reading...]

Posted on March 25th, 2008

Wife defeats Tiger, ends streak

WINDERMERE, FL -- Despite a valiant comeback by Tiger Woods, a chip-in birdie on the ninth hole gave Elin Nordegren a one-shot victory over her husband late Tuesday night in [continue reading...]

Posted on March 19th, 2008

Isiah attempting to trade for Tiger

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In an attempt to save the floundering New York Knicks, embattled coach Isiah Thomas has contacted representatives of the PGA Tour, and is attempting to [continue reading...]

Posted on March 13th, 2008

Obama gives Tiger endorsement

CHICAGO, IL -- Illinois senator and presidential hopeful Barack Obama has taken his long-time admiration for Tiger Woods to a whole new level. A self-admitted golf enthusiast and Tiger disciple, [continue reading...]

Posted on March 3rd, 2008

Tiger to play remainder of Match Play with self-imposed handicap

MARAN, AZ -- Following his late-round comeback to top J.B. Holmes at the Accenture Match Play Tournament, Tiger Woods told a gathering of media that he intends to make things [continue reading...]

Posted on February 21st, 2008

Tilghman mauled by tiger; PGA Mafia thought to be involved

SCOTTSDALE, AZ -- Golf Channel commentator Kelly Tilghman was mysteriously mauled by a tiger while she wandered through a back alley near the PGA's current Scottsdale event early Friday morning. [continue reading...]

Posted on February 1st, 2008

Woods plays final round blindfolded, wins by 8 strokes

SAN DIEGO, CA -- Citing a desire to "challenge myself in ways that I never have," Tiger Woods played the entirety of Sunday's final round wearing a blindfold, and still [continue reading...]

Posted on January 27th, 2008

Golfweek editor hanged in aftermath of controversial ‘noose’ cover

ORLANDO, FL -- The January 18 firing of Golfweek magazine's vice president and editor Dave Seanor was deemed necessary by many in the national media, not to mention the Professional [continue reading...]

Posted on January 24th, 2008

PGA relieved Woods not making any golf-related resolutions

JUPITER, FL -- Relief washed over the PGA Saturday morning, when it was announced that Tiger Woods' New Year's resolutions do not have anything whatsoever to do with improving his [continue reading...]

Posted on December 22nd, 2007

Tiger Woods going to be a more gracious host on Saturday

THOUSAND OAKS, CA -- Citing complaints from some other competitors that Tiger Woods had not shown a great deal of graciousness as a host, the 9-time player of the year [continue reading...]

Posted on December 15th, 2007

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Tiger Woods’ wife feels a lot better about retirement prospects

The way Tiger is playing at the Target this weekend, Elin can rest even easier about life after golf... JUPITER, FL -- Elin Nordegren, wife of Tiger Woods, sent a lengthy [continue reading...]

Posted on December 15th, 2007

Tiger Woods’ wife feels a lot better about retirement prospects

JUPITER, FL -- Elin Nordegren, wife of Tiger Woods, sent a lengthy letter of thanks to FedEx for the generous prize that the shipping company provided for the recently completed [continue reading...]

Posted on September 16th, 2007

Manning sick of seeing self on TV

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- You probably aren't counting, but Peyton Manning has appeared in only 17 commercials during this NFL season. This is a serious cutback from [continue reading...]

Posted on September 10th, 2007

Mickelson claims to be playing for second place

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- One week after missing the cut at this year's Open Championship, a surprisingly calm Phil Mickelson took the opportunity to explain how he can so easily [continue reading...]

Posted on July 28th, 2007

Woods’ daughter misses cut at first major

SOUTHERN PINES, NC -- Tiger Woods daughter missed the cut at this weekend's U.S. Open, firing a 77 and 79 in her first two rounds of her professional career. Sam [continue reading...]

Posted on July 4th, 2007

Woods’ body “nothing to do with” golf

WINDERMERE, FL -- Even the most casual golf fan cannot help but notice that Tiger Woods' physique has improved quite a bit since he turned pro in 1996. Many have [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2007

Woods struggling with nightmare

JUPITER ISLAND, FL -- Things haven’t been going so great for Tiger Woods lately. He’s been unable to sleep for a couple weeks now and is constantly shaking with fear. [continue reading...]

Posted on May 20th, 2007

Masters to undergo major changes

AUGUSTA, GA -- The Masters Tournament, possibly the most prestigious golf tournament on the PGA tour, will be changed "dramatically" said Billy Paine, chairman of the Augusta National Golf Club. [continue reading...]

Posted on April 10th, 2007

Woods and Federer “totally BFF”

AUGUSTA, GA -- Not many people can relate to men like Tiger Woods and Roger Federer. Both are doing things in their respective sports – golf and tennis – that [continue reading...]

Posted on March 30th, 2007

Phil returning to old approach

AUGUSTA, GA -- While golfers like Tiger Woods and Vijay Singh are living in the weight room in preparation for the beginning of golf's "major" season, Phil Mickelson announced Friday [continue reading...]

Posted on March 24th, 2007

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