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Tiger Woods Archives
Woods returns from vacation to find 423 voicemails from PGA commissioner
JUPITER, FL -- Upon returning home from a European vacation with his wife Elin and their daughter Sam, injured golfer Tiger Woods was surprised to find 423 voicemails from PGA [continue reading...]
Posted on August 11th, 2008
Federer tears ACL
ALL ENGLAND LAWN TENNIS AND CROQUET CLUB -- Reports from Wimbledon indicate that Roger Federer has torn his ACL prior to the finale of the annual lawn tennis tournament. Apparently, Federer [continue reading...]
Posted on July 4th, 2008
Reconstructive mojo repair successful for Tiger
WINDERMERE, FL -- The good news is that Tiger Woods underwent successful surgery Wednesday. The bad news is that the golf mega-star's newly repaired mojo will still cause him to [continue reading...]
Posted on June 26th, 2008
Tiger “heartbroken” over missing Ryder Cup
JUPITER ISLAND, FL -- While his season-ending knee surgery will cost him a shot at two major championships, the FedEx Cup and millions of dollars in earnings, golfing god Tiger [continue reading...]
Posted on June 22nd, 2008
PGA to require Tiger’s leg be amputated “for the good of the game”
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Following Tiger Woods' 14th major championship at the US Open yesterday, the PGA Tour has announced that the golfing great will have to have his injured [continue reading...]
Posted on June 17th, 2008
Bruce bests Tiger in friendly match play round
CINCINNATI, OH -- All is not well for Tiger Woods, even after the golfer further cemented his legacy with a dramatic victory in the 2008 U.S. Open. Cincinnati Reds outfielder/god [continue reading...]
Posted on June 17th, 2008
Adam Scott missing after first round of U.S. Open
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Amid all of the hoopla surrounding the pairing of the world's number one and number two golfers in the first two rounds of the U.S. Open, [continue reading...]
Posted on June 13th, 2008
Confused Yankees show up at World Series of Poker
LAS VEGAS, NV -- The New York Yankees, in a state of utter confusion, showed up this week at the Rio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, where the World [continue reading...]
Posted on June 7th, 2008
Mickelson misses his breasts, will get implants
SAN DIEGO, CA -- PGA Tour golfer Phil Mickelson will soon fit in the same category as Pamela Anderson. And it has nothing to do with a sex tape – [continue reading...]
Posted on May 7th, 2008
Fellow golfers recommend months, perhaps years of rest for Woods’ ailing knee
HILTON HEAD, SC -- Members of the golf world are unanimous in their undying support for Tiger Woods, after the four-time Masters winner underwent arthroscopic surgery to repair a cartilage [continue reading...]
Posted on April 16th, 2008
Tiger admits being intimidated by self on Masters Sunday
AUGUSTA, GA -- Sunday at the Masters is usually a place where Tiger Woods thrives. With four Masters titles already under his belt and a bulldog demeanor that frightens even [continue reading...]
Posted on April 14th, 2008
Immelman given jacket, trophy meant for Tiger
AUGUSTA, GA -- Trevor Immelman's triumph yesterday at The Masters in Augusta, Georgia should have been the highlight of his life. Instead, the 28-year-old from South Africa was surprised and [continue reading...]
Posted on April 14th, 2008
Woods seeks to renegotiate pact with Satan after disappointing loss
DORAL, FL -- After a disappointing fifth-place finish in the CA Championship at Doral, Tiger Woods has reportedly been seen at the crossroads, seeking out Old Harry (a.k.a. the Devil) [continue reading...]
Posted on March 25th, 2008
Wife defeats Tiger, ends streak
WINDERMERE, FL -- Despite a valiant comeback by Tiger Woods, a chip-in birdie on the ninth hole gave Elin Nordegren a one-shot victory over her husband late Tuesday night in [continue reading...]
Posted on March 19th, 2008
Isiah attempting to trade for Tiger
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In an attempt to save the floundering New York Knicks, embattled coach Isiah Thomas has contacted representatives of the PGA Tour, and is attempting to [continue reading...]
Posted on March 13th, 2008
Obama gives Tiger endorsement
CHICAGO, IL -- Illinois senator and presidential hopeful Barack Obama has taken his long-time admiration for Tiger Woods to a whole new level. A self-admitted golf enthusiast and Tiger disciple, [continue reading...]
Posted on March 3rd, 2008
Tiger to play remainder of Match Play with self-imposed handicap
MARAN, AZ -- Following his late-round comeback to top J.B. Holmes at the Accenture Match Play Tournament, Tiger Woods told a gathering of media that he intends to make things [continue reading...]
Posted on February 21st, 2008
Tilghman mauled by tiger; PGA Mafia thought to be involved
SCOTTSDALE, AZ -- Golf Channel commentator Kelly Tilghman was mysteriously mauled by a tiger while she wandered through a back alley near the PGA's current Scottsdale event early Friday morning. [continue reading...]
Posted on February 1st, 2008
Woods plays final round blindfolded, wins by 8 strokes
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Citing a desire to "challenge myself in ways that I never have," Tiger Woods played the entirety of Sunday's final round wearing a blindfold, and still [continue reading...]
Posted on January 27th, 2008
Golfweek editor hanged in aftermath of controversial ‘noose’ cover
ORLANDO, FL -- The January 18 firing of Golfweek magazine's vice president and editor Dave Seanor was deemed necessary by many in the national media, not to mention the Professional [continue reading...]
Posted on January 24th, 2008
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