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Kurt Warner orders Whopper, declares faith to drive through attendant

PHOENIX, AZ -– Kurt Warner had just led the Arizona Cardinals a heartwrenching defeat in Super Bowl XLIII against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and he was exhaused. When the aging quarterback [continue reading...]

Posted on February 4th, 2009

Marc Bulger has decided to go on J-Date

Marc Bulger’s nose is on display.

ST. LOUIS, MO -- St. Louis Rams starting QB Marc Bulger surprised teammates, media members and the Jewish community of greater St. Louis when he announced during his Wednesday press [continue reading...]

Posted on December 17th, 2008

Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. TEMPE, AZ -- With fellow receiver Anquan Boldin out due to injury last weekend, third-year wideout Larry Fitzgerald led the Arizona Cardinals [continue reading...]

Posted on November 23rd, 2008

Missouri legislature promotes Mizzou to NFL; removes Chiefs and Rams

JEFFERSON CITY, MO -- In an unprecedented and likely illegal tour de force, the Missouri state legislature passed a bill today that would remove the Kansas City Chiefs and St. [continue reading...]

Posted on September 24th, 2008

Belichick also misinterpreted the rules of marriage

Bill Belichick has the noblest intentions

BOSTON, MA -- New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick's claim that he misinterpreted the rules preventing the taping of the opposition's signals during games elicited a firestorm of doubters, [continue reading...]

Posted on May 19th, 2008

Specter wants Walsh indicted for teasing

Matt Walsh is dumber than he looks

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Although the video tapes he turned over to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell proved that former Patriots' video assistant Matt Walsh had done nothing illegal, he may not [continue reading...]

Posted on May 16th, 2008

Matt Walsh turns over tape showing Belichick in Darth Vader mask

Even with the mask, Belichick wears a hoodie

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- SSNN has learned that the tapes former New England Patriots video assistant Matt Walsh turned over to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell include footage of Patriots [continue reading...]

Posted on May 13th, 2008

Proehl seeking trademark on white receiver comparisons

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- Former NFL wide receiver Ricky Proehl had a great career. In his 17 years in the league, he caught over 650 passes for nearly 9,000 [continue reading...]

Posted on March 24th, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv

On a day when Larry Fitzgerald carried many fantasy teams, SSNN looks back at an amusing story starting #11 from earlier this year in our daily From the Archives feature. TEMPE, [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2007

Rams request mercy rule for future games

ST. LOUIS, MO -- Following Sunday’s 33-6 loss to Seattle, the St. Louis Rams submitted a mercy rule application to NFL headquarters. The rarely-used rule states that should a team [continue reading...]

Posted on October 22nd, 2007

Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv

TEMPE, AZ -- With fellow receiver Anquan Boldin out due to injury last weekend, third-year wideout Larry Fitzgerald led the Arizona Cardinals to a 34-31 victory over their division foes, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 12th, 2007

Steven Jackson wins Nobel Peace Prize

OSLO, NORWAY -- Winning a Nobel Prize is widely considered the ultimate achievement in each of the areas for which they are awarded: Physics, Chemistry, Literature, Peace, Physiology and Medicine. [continue reading...]

Posted on August 29th, 2007


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