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Sports Guy Archives

ARCHIVES: Sports Guy’s wife hasn’t read his column in years

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. LOS ANGELES, CA -- Kari Simmons, wife of ESPN's Bill Simmons, reportedly hasn't read any of his columns in years. The [continue reading...]

Posted on November 22nd, 2008

ESPN scraps “Sports Guy on Tape”

BRISTOL, CT -- It's not often that the Worldwide Leader in Sports admits they made a mistake, but ESPN did just that today when it announced the end of its [continue reading...]

Posted on March 30th, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Real-life Patriots outperform Bill Simmons-led Video Game Patriots

The Pats may not have been beating teams this bad lately, but chances are they'll smack the Giants worse than Bill Simmons ever could in a video game... NEW YORK, NY [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2008

E:60 facing changes to name, format

BRISTOL, CT -- After only a few months of airtime, and limited interest shown in mediocre ratings, the ESPN's fresh-off-the-press TV newsmag – E:60 – is making some fundamental changes. [continue reading...]

Posted on January 2nd, 2008

Red Sox add Simmons to package for Santana

BOSTON, MA -- According to sources within the organization, Boston Red Sox GM Theo Epstein is now willing to include ESPN.com columnist Bill Simmons – more popularly known as The [continue reading...]

Posted on December 18th, 2007

Real-life Patriots outperform Bill Simmons-led Video Game Patriots

NEW YORK, NY -- The New England Patriots, in their 38-14 drubbing of the New York Jets, far exceeded the accomplishments of the Bill Simmons-led Madden 2007 Patriots, [continue reading...]

Posted on September 12th, 2007

Sports Guy’s wife hasn’t read his column in years

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Kari Simmons, wife of ESPN's Bill Simmons, reportedly hasn't read any of his columns in years. The revelation came about at a Tuesday night dinner [continue reading...]

Posted on August 19th, 2007

Sports Guy gives self “A/A-”

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons announced today to his friends House and Bish that he is giving himself an "A/A-minus" on his annual NBA Draft recap [continue reading...]

Posted on June 29th, 2007

Bill Simmons spotted with “Manning face”

BOSTON, MA -- Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons was spotted late Sunday evening wearing the so-called "Manning face," a term that he invented to describe a look of dumbfounded, awestruck, [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2007

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