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Shaquille O’Neal Archives

Kobe Bryant using ‘Send this story to a friend’ feature to inform Shaq of Lakers off-season moves

LOS ANGELES, CA—It wasn’t so long ago that saying good-bye to a friend moving to the other side of the country meant saying good-bye forever. Thanks to the internet, however, [continue reading...]

Posted on July 21st, 2009

Curt Schilling’s blog inducted into baseball Hall of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—In a move not seen since Roberto Clemente’s posthumous induction in 1973, the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York waived its customary five-year waiting period earlier [continue reading...]

Posted on March 25th, 2009

ARCHIVES — KG: “Facebook would be more fun if I had gone to college”

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. BOSTON, MA -- Though there have not been many occasions when he has regretted his decision of more than ten years ago, [continue reading...]

Posted on November 21st, 2008

ARCHIVES: Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. LOS ANGELES, CA -- Finally breaking his silence about Shaquille O'Neal's controversial freestyle rap, Kobe Bryant revealed to SSNN that – not [continue reading...]

Posted on November 20th, 2008

Oden to dress up as NBA player for Halloween

PORTLAND, OR -- In one of the most improbable costumes of the year, second-year TrailBlazers center Greg Oden has dressed up as an NBA player for Halloween. According to SSNN sources, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 31st, 2008

Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes

The taste of ass causes Kobe to make this face…

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Finally breaking his silence about Shaquille O'Neal's controversial freestyle rap, Kobe Bryant revealed to SSNN that – not surprisingly – he's unhappy with his former teammate's [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

Woman who actually knows how Shaq’s ass tastes paid not to tell anyone

Shaq’s ass does not, in all likelihood, taste very good!

LOS ANGELES, CA -- In a dramatic and ironic twist, one of the few people in the world who actually knows how Shaquille O'Neal's ass tastes has been paid not [continue reading...]

Posted on June 25th, 2008

Shaq claims skewed media coverage of freestyle rap

NEW YORK CITY, NY – In the wake of causing a major stir with by apparently dissing Kobe Bryant in a freestyle rap at a New York club, Shaquille O'Neal [continue reading...]

Posted on June 24th, 2008

Kobe demanding trade again after Game 4 loss

Kobe is going to make this face until he gets traded

LOS ANGELES, CA -- During a spectacular regular season that ended with the Lakers in the top spot in the Western Conference, and a playoff run that landed them in [continue reading...]

Posted on June 14th, 2008

Electronic Arts announces recall, delayed release of NBA Live ‘09

REDWOOD CITY, CA -- Electronic Arts, maker of the EA Sports line of video games, announced today that they are pushing back the release of this year's version of their [continue reading...]

Posted on June 12th, 2008

Suns future in doubt after Shaq steps on Nash

PHOENIX, AZ -- Just when it seemed that things couldn't get any worse for the Phoenix Suns – they did. After making a late-season deal to acquire center Shaquille O'Neal from [continue reading...]

Posted on May 27th, 2008

D’Antoni “can’t wait” to work with Marbury

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- During the press conference introducing him as the new head coach of the New York Knicks, Mike D'Antoni told reporters, "I can't wait to work [continue reading...]

Posted on May 16th, 2008

Riley, Heat unsure if they can match 15-game slide in second half

MIAMI, FL -- The Miami Heat lost their ninth straight game, 99-92 to the Chicago Bulls, on the Thursday before this NBA All-Star Weekend, but Pat Riley isn't so sure [continue reading...]

Posted on February 17th, 2008

Shaq to provide Maricopa Marauders huge boost in pickup league

PHOENIX, AZ -- The Maricopa County Marauders, a struggling team in the Arizona Sheriff's Deputies Pickup Basketball League (ASDPBL), got a huge boost this week when they traded for 7'1", [continue reading...]

Posted on February 8th, 2008

Woodson protests controversial NBA decision

ATLANTA, GA-- Hawks Coach Mike Woodson is crying foul, after a controversial decision by the NBA was made to "do-over" the last 51.9 seconds of the Hawks-Heat game, in which [continue reading...]

Posted on January 13th, 2008

Kobe adds asterisk to Shaq’s fantasy football championship

LOS ANGELES, CA -- The Los Angeles Lakers Fantasy Football Association's year-end banquet ended in contention Thursday, when it was discovered that Kobe Bryant had defaced the Divac Cup – [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2008

Riley mistakes movie footage for actual game tape

MIAMI, FL -- Legendary coach Pat Riley had a moment he would prefer to forget at practice Friday morning, when he mistakenly thought footage from the 1996 film Blue Chips [continue reading...]

Posted on December 21st, 2007

KG: “Facebook would be more fun if I had gone to college”

BOSTON, MA -- Though there have not been many occasions when he has regretted his decision of more than ten years ago, Kevin Garnett has recently admitted that he has [continue reading...]

Posted on November 18th, 2007

Heat accept Riley’s offer to suit up

MIAMI, FL –- Following Miami's embarrassing loss to Seattle on Wednesday, the Heat have decided to take head coach Pat Riley up on his offer to play. "People forget that [continue reading...]

Posted on November 16th, 2007

Lakers disappoint Kobe again

LOS ANGELES, CA -- The Los Angeles Lakers may have further damaged their ability to keep star player Kobe Bryant as a part of the team after failing to sign [continue reading...]

Posted on June 21st, 2007