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SEC Archives

In preseason douche poll, Lane Kiffin wins biggest douche in the SEC award, stunning the field

KNOXVILLE, TN -- The Lane Kiffin era in Tennessee is off to a better start than ever hoped, with the results of the conference's annual Preseason Douchebag Coach Poll being [continue reading...]

Posted on February 9th, 2009

2008 Top 20, #11: CBS announcer goes to ER after Tebowner lasts for more than four hours

ATLANTA, GA -- At approximately 11 pm Saturday night, CBS sports announcer Gary Danielson realized it was time to head for the emergency room. "Every single commercial for a male virility [continue reading...]

Posted on December 29th, 2008

CBS announcer goes to ER after Tebowner lasts for more than four hours

ATLANTA, GA -- At approximately 11 pm Saturday night, CBS sports announcer Gary Danielson realized it was time to head for the emergency room. "Every single commercial for a male virility [continue reading...]

Posted on December 7th, 2008

Kiffin “amazingly lame” for such a young coach

KNOXVILLE, TN -- Lane Kiffin has arrived in Rocky Top, and the first reports are coming in about the 33-year old coach. "I understand that Lane is only 33 years old," [continue reading...]

Posted on December 4th, 2008

SEC decides Cuban’s punishment: he must purchase the Chicago Cubs

NEW YORK, NY -- In what will stand forever as a unique example of professional sports leagues and the federal government cooperating, a committee convened by the SEC, MLB and [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2008

Cuban confused NBA with real-life, lawyers assert

DALLAS, TX—Controversial Mavericks owner Mark Cuban was indicted yesterday by the Securities and Exchange Commission yesterday after it was revealed Cuban sold 600,000 shares in Mamma.com after learning privately that [continue reading...]

Posted on November 18th, 2008

Lee Corso puts on Nick Saban’s head when making prediction

SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUTHERN PART OF THE UNITED STATES--ESPN’s College Gameday analyst Lee Corso’s signature head gear promotion to end each College Gameday broadcast took a morbid turn Saturday, when [continue reading...]

Posted on September 4th, 2008

Buckeyes eyeing another BCS Championship thrashing

COLUMBUS, OH -- As the spring football season winds down, many teams have dreams of conference championships and bowl victories. The Ohio State Buckeyes, however, have a different goal [continue reading...]

Posted on May 12th, 2008

God angry at Obrzut for wasting height

HEAVEN - God expressed anger Thursday at Kentucky Wildcats’ center Lukasz Obrzut after the senior posted just a two-point, two-rebound performance against SEC foe Auburn on Wednesday night. [continue reading...]

Posted on January 1st, 2008

Petrino heads to Arkansas to build program on “commitment and loyalty”

FAYETTEVILLE, AR -- Late Tuesday, in a hastily called press conference, Bobby Petrino announced that he is returning to the collegiate coaching ranks, where he intends to build a program [continue reading...]

Posted on December 11th, 2007

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Gainesville Presbyterian church now “First Church of Tebow”

In celebration of Tim Tebow's Heisman Trophy win over Darren McFadden, Colt Brennan and Chase Daniel, SSNN looks back to a classic tale of Tebow's prowess. GAINESVILLE, FL -- The legend [continue reading...]

Posted on December 8th, 2007

Gainesville Presbyterian church now “First Church of Tebow”

GAINESVILLE, FL -- The legend of Tim Tebow grew even larger this week when a local Gainesville Church formerly known as the "First Presbyterian Church of Gainesville" officially changed its [continue reading...]

Posted on October 27th, 2007

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