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Sarah Palin Archives
2008 Year in Review, #1: Furious Palin demands recount after learning about “Golden State” while watching NBA
WASILLA, AK -- A furious Sarah Palin is phoning Republican attorneys this morning and demanding a recount after learning that an entire state's votes may not have been counted in [continue reading...]
Posted on January 1st, 2009
Obama to throw out first pitch at Sox opener; Cubs get Sarah Palin
CHICAGO, IL -- In the immediate aftermath of the US Presidential Election, Chicago White Sox general manager Kenny Williams invited President-Elect Barack Obama to throw out the first pitch of [continue reading...]
Posted on December 25th, 2008
Colt McCoy worried Palin has “gone rogue” on Heisman campaign
AUSTIN, TX -- Texas Lonhorns quarterback Colt McCoy is expressing concern today that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has become a hindrance to his Heisman Trophy campaign. "We think she's going rogue," [continue reading...]
Posted on December 10th, 2008
Confused voters mistakenly choose Pedroia as MVP
BOSTON, MA -- Many baseball writers around the country have egg on their face today, and are trying desperately to explain themselves, after failing to understand the rules governing MVP [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2008
McNabb makes startling admission, then announces candidacy for President of the United States in 2012
PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Sunday's post-game presser following the Philadelphia Eagles' 13-13 tie was a shocking one in Philly, to be sure, with almost all of the action centered around quarterback [continue reading...]
Posted on November 18th, 2008
Favre and Belichick to create douchebag magnet Sunday; expected to lure thousands to Foxboro
FOXBORO, MA—Scientists are scrambling this week, as supercomputers from the University of Chicago’s Yerkes Observatory have forecasted that this coming Sunday, in Foxboro, the presence of Patriots head coach Bill [continue reading...]
Posted on November 12th, 2008
Furious Palin demands recount after learning about “Golden State” while watching NBA
WASILLA, AK -- A furious Sarah Palin is phoning Republican attorneys this morning and demanding a recount after learning that an entire state's votes may not have been counted in [continue reading...]
Posted on November 8th, 2008
Favre calls McCain, tells him how to beat Obama
PHOENIX, AZ -- John McCain received an unexpected call of support tonight, as Brett Favre announced that he'd phoned the Presidential candidate with some secret information about how to go [continue reading...]
Posted on November 4th, 2008
Palin’s clothing spree includes $84,000 worth of Chad Johnson jerseys
CINCINNATI, OH -- Many were outraged this week when it was discovered the GOP vice presidential nominee had spent $150,000 on new clothing since her selection to the ticket. However, all [continue reading...]
Posted on October 24th, 2008
Hockey players fight over politics with Palin in attendance
PHILADELPHIA, PA—The Philadelphia Flyers season-opener against New York made a few extra headlines than usual, thanks to the appearance of Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, a self-described “hockey mom”, who [continue reading...]
Posted on October 12th, 2008
Colts would like Peyton Manning to be a little more folksy, like Sarah Palin
INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- The Indianapolis Colts, less than two years removed from a Super Bowl title, have made an unusual request to quarterback Peyton Manning. "Yes, we did make a request [continue reading...]
Posted on October 3rd, 2008
Sarah Palin told Travis Henry that selling cocaine was legal
BILLINGS, MT -- Embattled former Denver Broncos running back, facing drug trafficking charges from the federal government, has an unusual excuse for his behavior. According to Henry, Republican vice presidential [continue reading...]
Posted on October 2nd, 2008
Millen joins McCain campaign
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Recently dismissed from his controversial tenure as President and CEO of the Detroit Lions, NFL pariah Matt Millen has announced he will be temporarily putting his football career on [continue reading...]
Posted on September 25th, 2008
Palin hoping for a lot of snow machine racing questions at VP debate
WASILLA, AK -- Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is apparently blowing off debate prep session after debate prep session, allegedly pinning her hopes on getting a lot of questions about [continue reading...]
Posted on September 25th, 2008
Bettman thrilled that Sarah Palin keeps mentioning hockey
NEW YORK -- John McCain's selection of Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his running mate may have been an unabashed attempt to placate disenfranchised conservative voters, but it has had [continue reading...]
Posted on September 16th, 2008
Palin skips interview prep to play Big Buck Hunter
WASILLA, AK -- Sarah Palin's embarrassing moment with Charles Gibson in last week's interview could have been avoided, people close to the campaign have said. "We had a full-day session planned [continue reading...]
Posted on September 14th, 2008
Sarah Palin eats Scott Boras’s soul, becomes nicer
MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- SSNN has learned that Sarah Palin ate Scott Boras's soul last night, and actually became a much more friendly, generous person than she had been beforehand. "Yes, I [continue reading...]
Posted on September 4th, 2008
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