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San Francisco 49ers Archives

Special to SSNN: Letter to the Editor from God regarding Kurt Warner-love

This is a special letter received by SSNN via tablet this morning. Dear Readers of SSNN: God here. Just want to let you know that I indeed was responsible for the [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2008

Jaws totally drank from Kornheiser’s soda last night; “Act of War,” says Kornheiser

PHOENIX, AZ -- In what was either a complete accident or an overt act of war, Ron Jaworski reached down and took a sip of soda last night, setting off [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2008

Singletary looks up “interim,” is shocked

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- On Monday, when Mike Singletary went to work, he found a dictionary on his desk. Singletary, the interim coach of the San Francisco 49ers, was surprised, as [continue reading...]

Posted on October 27th, 2008

Bush convenes Congress to figure out who he should start between LT2, Ronnie Brown, and Frank Gore

WASHINGTON, DC -- President George W. Bush made an extremely unorthodox and frankly unprecedented move in the annals of American history Saturday, calling both houses of Congress together for an [continue reading...]

Posted on October 4th, 2008

Vikings fined for having Adrian Peterson wear Chester Taylor’s uniform

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- It's been a year of deception in the NFL. Only months after the New England Patriots got the league's largest ever fine, the Minnesota Vikings received a [continue reading...]

Posted on December 10th, 2007

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