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Roy Williams Archives

After Obama selects North Carolina to win national championship, team goes to Senate for confirmation

WASHINGTON, DC -- The North Carolina Tar Heels were selected by president Barack Obama to win the National Championship, and took the first major step toward that goal with an [continue reading...]

Posted on April 8th, 2009

Millen Claims 0-16 Lions Season will be his Magnum Opus

DETROIT, MI—The Detroit Lions made history on Sunday, becoming the first 0-15 team in the history of the NFL, and look poised to become the first team to finish a [continue reading...]

Posted on December 22nd, 2008

Roger Goodell Pardons Culpepper

DETROIT, MI—Every Thanksgiving since 1954, the NFL has observed a timeless and heartfelt tradition when the Commissioner pardons a Detroit Lion from playing for the horrendous and dubious franchise. This [continue reading...]

Posted on November 30th, 2008

Lions thinking about drafting a receiver with the first pick in the draft

DETROIT, MI -- The Detroit Lions have announced that they are seriously considering taking Texas Tech WR Michael Crabtree with the first pick in the NFL draft, said General Manager [continue reading...]

Posted on November 26th, 2008

TO: “Roy Williams and I will be the perfect couple”

DALLAS, TX -- Terrell Owens moved quickly Wednesday to squash any doubts that he will be a perfect teammate for wide receiver Roy Williams, whom the Cowboys obtained from the [continue reading...]

Posted on October 15th, 2008

Cowboys desperately trying to hire Roy Williams as coach

CHAPEL HILL, N.C. -- North Carolina basketball coach Roy Williams has received at least 40 frenetic phone calls from Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in the past 24 hours, who is [continue reading...]

Posted on October 15th, 2008

MIT simulation finds Self, Jayhawks on short end of stick

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Kansas Jayhawks fans are presumably up-in-arms today, after published reports claim a group of researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have unanimously concluded that KU has [continue reading...]

Posted on April 5th, 2008

Vitale back on shelf after pulling vocal chord

BRISTOL, CT-- Legendary, overly excitable ESPN broadcaster Dick Vitale won't be doing any yelling anytime soon. On the night Vitale made his triumphant return to the airwaves after undergoing successful surgery [continue reading...]

Posted on February 8th, 2008

Lovie: Orton’s spot safe with Bears

CHICAGO, IL -- With trade rumors swirling around the Bears acquiring Philadelphia quarterback Donovan Mcnabb in the offseason, coach Lovie Smith told the media that whatever happens, quarterback Kyle Orton’s [continue reading...]

Posted on January 17th, 2008

Heels’ Williams says unbeaten streak may last years

CHAPEL HILL, NC - In the waning moments of North Carolina’s 93-62 pasting of ACC and in-state rival North Carolina State Wolfpack Saturday afternoon, Tarheels coach Roy Williams was understandably [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2008

Romo blames bad thumb on crazy night with Jessica Simpson

DALLAS, TX -– Contradicting reports that he suffered a thumb injury during last weekend's game against the Eagles, Cowboys QB Tony Romo told reporters that the injury actually occurred during [continue reading...]

Posted on December 20th, 2007

Williams attempts, fails to rectify tipping misdeeds

DETROIT, MI -- Detroit Lions' Wide Receiver Roy Williams is trying to make up for years of acting under a strict no-tipping policy, which he told the world about last [continue reading...]

Posted on October 18th, 2007

Roy Williams obsessed with being “first on Google”

DETROIT, MI -- Members of the Detroit Lions report that WR Roy Williams has become "absolutely obsessed" with being the first Roy Williams on Google. "Talks about it all the time," [continue reading...]

Posted on September 27th, 2007

Owens, Glenn, Barber, and Cowboys D jealous of Romo for choking more

SEATTLE, WA -- Several members of the Dallas Cowboys expressed serious anger toward quarterback Tony Romo for out-choking them during the Cowboys' 21-20 playoff loss to the Seattle Seahawks. "Look, it [continue reading...]

Posted on January 7th, 2007

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