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ARCHIVES — KG: “Facebook would be more fun if I had gone to college”

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. BOSTON, MA -- Though there have not been many occasions when he has regretted his decision of more than ten years ago, [continue reading...]

Posted on November 21st, 2008

David Stern stunned to learn the Sonics are moving to Oklahoma City

NEW YORK, NY -- Everything was going fine for NBA commissioner David Stern on Sunday morning, until a weird turn of the internet ruined his day. "I was just scrolling through [continue reading...]

Posted on July 6th, 2008

Pierce injures leg, unable to take out garbage

BOSTON, MA -- While Boston fans were celebrating their 17th NBA championship on Tuesday night, one of the key cogs from their latest championship squad was suffering déjà vu. Mere [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2008

Satan to lead Celtics victory parade, collect on debt of souls

BOSTON, MA -- In celebration of their first NBA championship in 22 years, the city of Boston has scheduled a victory parade for their beloved Celtics. The parade will be [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2008

Pierce, Garnett auditioning new members for “Big 3″

BOSTON, MA -- Up 2-0 on the Atlanta Hawks in their first round playoff series, and with many fans predicting a championship run, everything would appear to be perfect for [continue reading...]

Posted on April 25th, 2008

Garnett apologizes to Celtics fans for “uncharacteristic” post-season performance

BOSTON, MA -- After helping his Celtics demolish the eighth-seeded Atlanta Hawks in game one of the their first-round NBA playoff series, a tearful Kevin Garnett apologized to fans for [continue reading...]

Posted on April 22nd, 2008

Celtics beat Knicks by 45; Boston fans disgusted

BOSTON, MA -- The Boston Celtics, wanting to make a statement about their ability to contend in the NBA East this year, narrowly beat the New York Knicks by 45 [continue reading...]

Posted on November 30th, 2007

KG: “Facebook would be more fun if I had gone to college”

BOSTON, MA -- Though there have not been many occasions when he has regretted his decision of more than ten years ago, Kevin Garnett has recently admitted that he has [continue reading...]

Posted on November 18th, 2007

Boston sports fans confident apocalypse is near

BOSTON, MA -- The recent success of Boston sports teams has led many Bostonians to speculate that the apocalypse is near. "Oh, abso-fuckin'-lutely," Boston sports fan, Bert McNulty told SSNN. [continue reading...]

Posted on November 13th, 2007

Pierce: new Celtics “too intense”

BOSTON, MA -- Though the preseason is nary a couple of weeks old, the grumbling has already started in Boston, led by veteran Paul Pierce. "This team has gotten [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

Pierce: new Celtics “too intense” [CONTINUED]

Back to Page 1 | Page 2 "KG talks about championships all the time, man," Pierce said. "It's a little annoying, to be honest. I mean, yeah, it's great to [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

Celtics explore trade possibilities

BOSTON, MA -- Boston Celtics General Manager Danny Ainge is getting a bit squirrelly. Ever since the Celtics' worst-case scenario played itself out before his beady, vacant eyes at the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 2nd, 2007

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