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playoffs Archives

Selig to Astros: “Stop complaining, or I’ll make you play the entire 2009 season in Montreal.”

HOUSTON, TX -- As many Houston Astros players and fans express their outrage at Bud Selig's decision to force the Astros to play two makeup "home games" in Milwaukee, Selig [continue reading...]

Posted on September 22nd, 2008

Stern creating new postseason tournament

MEMPHIS, TN -- The Memphis Grizzlies have not won a single playoff game in their franchise's history. Since 2001, the New York Knicks have had a losing record every season [continue reading...]

Posted on March 21st, 2008

Guy sees Coors Light coach commercials for first time

TACOMA, WA -- "Die-hard" Seattle Seahwaks fan John Monroe had a doubly enjoyable day on Saturday. Not only were his beloved Seahawks playing and winning an NFL playoff game, but [continue reading...]

Posted on January 5th, 2008

Portis skips practice to return Christmas gifts

WASHINGTON, DC -- Clinton Portis is in hot water today, after skipping Redskins' practice to return Christmas presents. "Coach said it was a 'mandatory' practice," Portis said. "Especially since we didn't [continue reading...]

Posted on January 2nd, 2008

Vatican to investigate Colorado Rockies miracle

ROME, ITALY -- The Vatican announced Tuesday that it will send representatives from the Catholic Church to investigate the possible miracle of the Colorado Rockies. The Catholic church began anointing [continue reading...]

Posted on October 22nd, 2007

Manny Ramirez completes 13 home run trots Sunday after mundane activities

BOSTON, MA -- Even before the door to the mailbox swung shut, Manny Ramirez knew his letter was gone. The slugger raised his arms directly in the air, let out a [continue reading...]

Posted on October 21st, 2007

Phoenix man happy to have favorite network back

PHOENIX, AZ -- Phoenix resident Matt Rhodes, 48, was distraught when he came home from work earlier this October and turned on the television. His wife Janet said she "hadn't [continue reading...]

Posted on October 18th, 2007

Rockies extend winning streak

DENVER, CO -- The National League champion Colorado Rockies continued their red-hot ways on Tuesday, extending their winning streak to 12 games, and winning 23 of their last 24 as [continue reading...]

Posted on October 17th, 2007

Man annoys wife with imitation of Frank Caliendo doing imitation of Al Pacino doing Abbott and Costello routine

SIOUX CITY, IA -- Marie Rivers was pretty annoyed Sunday evening after the 32-year-old lawyer spent most of the day being regaled by her husband with bad imitations of Frank [continue reading...]

Posted on October 8th, 2007

Cubs ready for overdue vacation

CHICAGO, IL -- After the Chicago Cubs were swept by the Arizona Diamondbacks in the NLDS, there was relief in the Chicago locker room. "To be honest, I was kind of [continue reading...]

Posted on October 7th, 2007

God to smite first-born sons of Yankees

CLEVELAND, OH -- Shifting into the final phase of Operation Destroy Yankees, God announced after Friday night's game that he plans on killing the first-born son of each [continue reading...]

Posted on October 6th, 2007

Cubs blow off rally for Halo

CHICAGO, IL -- Members of Cubs management, former players and approximately 10,000 rabid fans attended a downtown celebration for the Central Division champions on Monday. Only [continue reading...]

Posted on October 3rd, 2007

Some Cubs jealous of Mets’ epic choke job

CHICAGO, IL -- A late report from Chicago Monday night indicated that the Chicago Cubs are extremely jealous of the New York Mets for the brilliant and history-making [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2007

Holliday’s behavior "just childish," Rockies say

DENVER, CO -- Matt Holliday won't stop pinching teammates and making ambiguously erotic comments about dreams, several members of the Rockies reported Tuesday. "It has gotten pretty bad," said [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2007

Fantasy chances destroyed by being Mike Pelfrey’s in-law

TOPEKA, KS -- John Mitchum's chances for a third straight title in his work fantasy league disintegrated before his very eyes Monday, when he started new cousin-in-law Mike [continue reading...]

Posted on September 27th, 2007

ESPN “totally spaced” on airing fourth game of WNBA Finals

BRISTOL, CT -- ESPN Director of Programming Dan Portman was fined $100 and stripped of his parking space Friday after the fifth-year executive "completely bricked" on airing the [continue reading...]

Posted on September 14th, 2007

Selig calls premature end to baseball season

MILWAUKEE, WI -- In a stunning announcement, baseball commissioner Bud Selig announced late last night that he is honoring a request from the Milwaukee Brewers to cancel the remainder of [continue reading...]

Posted on August 16th, 2007

Ferry blames James

CLEVELAND, OH -- After taking some time to digest his team's disappointing performance in the NBA Finals, Cleveland Cavaliers GM Danny Ferry talked today about what they need to do [continue reading...]

Posted on June 20th, 2007

Bowen, James connected even after finals end

CLEVELAND, OH -- LeBron James was a number one draft pick and an immediate star in the NBA. Bruce Bowen was undrafted and played for three other teams before joining [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2007

James files harassment suit

CLEVELAND, OH -- Immediately after the Cleveland Cavaliers loss to the San Antonio Spurs Thursday night, Cavs superstar LeBron James filed sexual harassment charges against Spurs forward Bruce Bowen. The [continue reading...]

Posted on June 14th, 2007

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