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Plaxico Burress Archives

“Plaxico” facing serious decline as a baby name

NEW YORK, NY -- An exclusive SSNN report has revealed that the popularity of "Plaxico" as a baby name is plummeting due to the recent shooting incident and other controversies [continue reading...]

Posted on December 13th, 2008

Plaxico attempts “shot therapy” to get back into lineup

NEW YORK, NY -- Plaxico Burress announced he's going to undergo a series of "shot therapy" treatments in hopes of getting himself back into the lineup for the New York [continue reading...]

Posted on December 1st, 2008

Pacman to Ditka: “From my cold, dead hands!”

NEW YORK, NY -- Mike Ditka’s made an unusual—and probably unconstitutional—suggestion on "NFL Countdown" yesterday that the NFL should bar all players from owning guns, following Plaxico Burress’ arrest following [continue reading...]

Posted on December 1st, 2008

Burress was in DC last week helping on bailout plan

NEW YORK, NY and WASHINGTON, DC -- When Plaxico Burress received a week-long suspension from the New York Giants, he didn't pout. Instead, he did what champions do--he went to [continue reading...]

Posted on October 8th, 2008

Entire NFL outsourced to Africa in cost-cutting move

NEW YORK, NY – Growing excitement stemming from the opening of training camps throughout the National Football League was overshadowed yesterday by the decidedly controversial decision to outsource the entire [continue reading...]

Posted on July 5th, 2008

Jeremy Shockey’s offseason to-do list leaked to press

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ -- News broke late Sunday night that Jeremy Shockey's closely guarded offseason to-do list, which he has carried in his helmet on a piece of notebook paper [continue reading...]

Posted on January 8th, 2007

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