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PGA Archives
Furious Elin Nordegren divorces Tiger Woods following loss to Tim Clarke
JUPITER, FL -- Less than a month after giving birth to the family's second child, Charlie Axel Woods, a furious Elin Nordegren has announced she's filing for divorce from her [continue reading...]
Posted on February 27th, 2009
Tiger Woods son granted tour card
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Tiger Woods' two-day old son Charlie Axel Woods was granted a PGA tour card for the 2009 season after the newborn shot a 67 at Torrey [continue reading...]
Posted on February 9th, 2009
Phil Mickelson dealing with some serious post-Groundhog Day gloomies
PHIL MICKELSON'S BEDROOM, N.C. -- Phil Mickelson is unable to rouse himself from bed today, according to reports from worried family members, who have stated that the golfer is "totally [continue reading...]
Posted on February 3rd, 2009
2008 Year in Review, #4: Woods returns from vacation to find 423 voicemails from PGA commissioner
JUPITER, FL -- Upon returning home from a European vacation with his wife Elin and their daughter Sam, injured golfer Tiger Woods was surprised to find 423 voicemails from PGA [continue reading...]
Posted on December 31st, 2008
Feds plan Tiger Woods bailout following cancellation of GM deal
WASHINGTON, DC -- Just when it seemed as though the economy had run out of surprises, the nation's capital was rocked Monday with news that Tiger Woods and GM have [continue reading...]
Posted on November 25th, 2008
Association with Daly may ruin family-friendly image, Hooters’ managers fear
WINSTON-SALEM, NC—Hooters has long been planted in the minds of Americans as a friendly, family-oriented restaurant with plenty of good food and great memories guaranteed with every trip. Now, however, [continue reading...]
Posted on October 30th, 2008
Woods returns from vacation to find 423 voicemails from PGA commissioner
JUPITER, FL -- Upon returning home from a European vacation with his wife Elin and their daughter Sam, injured golfer Tiger Woods was surprised to find 423 voicemails from PGA [continue reading...]
Posted on August 11th, 2008
PGA invites Ramirez, Favre to gain extra coverage
BLOOMFIELD TOWNSHIP, MI -- PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem has taken the unusual step of inviting non-professional golfers Manny Ramirez and Brett Favre to play in the PGA Championship this [continue reading...]
Posted on August 8th, 2008
Reconstructive mojo repair successful for Tiger
WINDERMERE, FL -- The good news is that Tiger Woods underwent successful surgery Wednesday. The bad news is that the golf mega-star's newly repaired mojo will still cause him to [continue reading...]
Posted on June 26th, 2008
Tiger “heartbroken” over missing Ryder Cup
JUPITER ISLAND, FL -- While his season-ending knee surgery will cost him a shot at two major championships, the FedEx Cup and millions of dollars in earnings, golfing god Tiger [continue reading...]
Posted on June 22nd, 2008
PGA to require Tiger’s leg be amputated “for the good of the game”
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Following Tiger Woods' 14th major championship at the US Open yesterday, the PGA Tour has announced that the golfing great will have to have his injured [continue reading...]
Posted on June 17th, 2008
Bruce bests Tiger in friendly match play round
CINCINNATI, OH -- All is not well for Tiger Woods, even after the golfer further cemented his legacy with a dramatic victory in the 2008 U.S. Open. Cincinnati Reds outfielder/god [continue reading...]
Posted on June 17th, 2008
Adam Scott missing after first round of U.S. Open
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Amid all of the hoopla surrounding the pairing of the world's number one and number two golfers in the first two rounds of the U.S. Open, [continue reading...]
Posted on June 13th, 2008
Mickelson misses his breasts, will get implants
SAN DIEGO, CA -- PGA Tour golfer Phil Mickelson will soon fit in the same category as Pamela Anderson. And it has nothing to do with a sex tape – [continue reading...]
Posted on May 7th, 2008
Fellow golfers recommend months, perhaps years of rest for Woods’ ailing knee
HILTON HEAD, SC -- Members of the golf world are unanimous in their undying support for Tiger Woods, after the four-time Masters winner underwent arthroscopic surgery to repair a cartilage [continue reading...]
Posted on April 16th, 2008
Tiger admits being intimidated by self on Masters Sunday
AUGUSTA, GA -- Sunday at the Masters is usually a place where Tiger Woods thrives. With four Masters titles already under his belt and a bulldog demeanor that frightens even [continue reading...]
Posted on April 14th, 2008
Immelman given jacket, trophy meant for Tiger
AUGUSTA, GA -- Trevor Immelman's triumph yesterday at The Masters in Augusta, Georgia should have been the highlight of his life. Instead, the 28-year-old from South Africa was surprised and [continue reading...]
Posted on April 14th, 2008
Daly to play supporting role in Beerfest sequel
NAPLES, FL -- Embattled professional golfer John Daly scored a victory of sorts off the course Wednesday, as sources close to the former British Open champion tell SSNN that Daly [continue reading...]
Posted on March 26th, 2008
Woods seeks to renegotiate pact with Satan after disappointing loss
DORAL, FL -- After a disappointing fifth-place finish in the CA Championship at Doral, Tiger Woods has reportedly been seen at the crossroads, seeking out Old Harry (a.k.a. the Devil) [continue reading...]
Posted on March 25th, 2008
John Daly’s friends fear golfing habit interfering with drinking, carousing
CORDOVA, TN -- Friends of John Daly have expressed grave concern over the Cordova resident's apparent preoccupation with golfing, and the toll it is exacting over his lifestyle of excessive [continue reading...]
Posted on March 21st, 2008
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