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Ohio State Buckeyes Archives

1,000,000th American man masturbates while thinking about Erin Andrews

POUGHKEEPSIE, NY -- Though he had no idea of the importance of his actions at the time, Poughkeepsie resident Gene Wilkinson made history somewhere around 12:30 A.M. Eastern Time Wednesday [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2009

Michigan’s Rodriguez: “You were serious about how much you want to beat Ohio State?”

COLUMBUS, OH -- Shortly following a 42-7 drubbing at the hands of the Ohio State University, University of Michigan Wolverines head coach Rich Rodriguez was stunned at the angry reaction [continue reading...]

Posted on November 22nd, 2008

Residents of Ohio town refusing to bathe in Michigan water

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. MONTPELIER, OH -- There's been a new stink added to the epic Ohio State-Michigan rivalry. Residents of the town of Montpelier, in [continue reading...]

Posted on November 22nd, 2008

Buckeyes eyeing another BCS Championship thrashing

COLUMBUS, OH -- As the spring football season winds down, many teams have dreams of conference championships and bowl victories. The Ohio State Buckeyes, however, have a different goal [continue reading...]

Posted on May 12th, 2008

Herbstreit nominated for Sexiest ESPN Employee

COLUMBUS, OH -- College football analyst Kirk Herbstreit spoke briefly with SSNN via phone from his home Monday morning, hours after the former Ohio State quarterback was notified he has [continue reading...]

Posted on April 15th, 2008

Residents of Ohio town refusing to bathe in Michigan water

MONTPELIER, OH -- There's been a new stink added to the epic Ohio State-Michigan rivalry. Residents of the town of Montpelier, in northwest Ohio, have sworn off bathing since learning [continue reading...]

Posted on April 7th, 2008

Pryor visits Ohio State campus, meets teachers for first, probably last time

COLUMBUS, OH -- High school phenom Terrelle Pryor visited the campus of Ohio State University this weekend for a guided tour of classrooms, science labs and lecture auditoriums that he [continue reading...]

Posted on March 27th, 2008

Terrelle Pryor having surgery to remove coaches

COLUMBUS, OH -- Terrelle Pryor's college career will begin this fall at Ohio State, after an intense and protracted recruitment battle. But the nation's number one recruit will have to [continue reading...]

Posted on March 25th, 2008

NCAA to strip UCLA of at least seven titles

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Perhaps the most dominant run for any one team in any sport will soon become tarnished. At the urging of jealous university presidents across the country, [continue reading...]

Posted on February 21st, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Nike releases new Ted Ginn, Jr. jersey

With Ohio State once again jumping to an early lead and blowing the BCS National Championship, we thought we would revisit the news surrounding last year's game... [continue reading...]

Posted on January 8th, 2008

LSU backup hoping to top last year’s exploits

BATON ROUGE, LA –- LSU backup quarterback Ryan Perrilloux told reporters that he plans to "shock and awe" fans and coaches alike before this year's Sugar Bowl, by topping his [continue reading...]

Posted on December 20th, 2007

Carr expected to move as far from Tressel as possible

ANN ARBOR, MI -- Sources close to Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr told SSNN that Carr has yet to determine where he will relocate to after Michigan's bowl game – [continue reading...]

Posted on November 29th, 2007

New BCS Rankings out, confusion at the top

SOUTH BEND, IN -- The latest BCS rankings have come out, and while things are predictable at the top in terms of the teams, anything goes as far as predicting [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2007

Ohio State’s pre-emptive choke leaves college football gods furious

COLUMBUS, OH and HEAVEN -- The college football gods are absolutely irate today after The Ohio State University took matters into their own hands with a preemptive choke against Illinois, [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2007

LSU fan claims honest mistake after barbecuing Saban’s dog

TUSCALOOSA, AL -- Alabama head coach Nick Saban discovered things can indeed go from bad to worse following his team's loss to LSU on Saturday. Reports out of Tuscaloosa revealed that [continue reading...]

Posted on November 6th, 2007

USC petitions ESPN to keep “dynasty” label

LOS ANGELES, CA -– Despite losing their second game of the season, SSNN has learned that The University of Southern California has filed a petition with ESPN to keep their [continue reading...]

Posted on November 1st, 2007

Greg Oden crushes his NBA debut

PORTLAND--Greg Oden is not one who is shy about entrances. Oden made his NBA debut on Tuesday night, and though Portland lost, his impact was immediately felt as he sat at [continue reading...]

Posted on November 1st, 2007

Ohio State excited about possibility of another undefeated season and another humiliating bowl defeat

COLUMBUS, OH -- Ohio state head coach Jim Tressel is very excited about the possibility of his Buckeyes winning the Big Ten and finishing the regular season undefeated. "I think [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

Corso bravely picks Ohio State while being attacked by Nittany Lion

COLLEGE STATION, PA -- ESPN College GameDay announcer Lee Corso boldly announced that he was picking the Ohio State Buckeyes to win their showdown with Penn State today, even while [continue reading...]

Posted on October 27th, 2007

Ravens draft Smith, admit mistake

BALTIMORE, MD -- During Sunday afternoon's second day of the NFL Draft, the Baltimore Ravens announced that they planned to release former Ohio State quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Troy [continue reading...]

Posted on April 30th, 2007

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