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NHL Archives
Toronto fans confused to see Buffalo and Pittsburgh play football, not hockey
TORONTO, CA -- Canada received its first taste of American football last week, but there is a lot of evidence suggesting they didn't fully understand what was happening. Fans exiting [continue reading...]
Posted on August 21st, 2008
Ovechkin wants Russian women only - DA!
Goodbye, Ocho Cinco....HELL-O, Sashen'ka Ovechkin! My new favorite athlete is even more hilarious-er than Chad, pretty cute despite the missing teeth, and he's looking for a Russian wife. OOO, ooo! Pick [continue reading...]
Posted on August 14th, 2008
Stanley Cup confiscated by airport security
PITTSBURGH, PA -- After a tiring 82-game regular season and 4 grueling playoff series, the Detroit Red Wings finally got their hands on hockey's most illustrious prize. But only hours [continue reading...]
Posted on June 6th, 2008
Malone breaks nose during post-game press conference
DETROIT, MI – After being thoroughly beaten up throughout the Stanley Cup Finals, Ryan Malone suffered a broken nose – again – during a press conference following Game 5. The [continue reading...]
Posted on June 4th, 2008
Hundreds of Red Wings fans hospitalized
DETROIT, MI -- Hospitals all over Detroit reported an unusual number of patients Monday, due in large part to Red Wings fans having octopi stuck in a very uncomfortable place. [continue reading...]
Posted on June 2nd, 2008
Dallas radio personality alleges Wings equipped with strategically placed rockets
DALLAS, TX -- A local sports talk show host has an interesting theory as to why his Dallas Stars are down 3-0 to the Detroit Red Wings and suddenly facing [continue reading...]
Posted on May 14th, 2008
Police find body frozen underneath ice at Joe Louis Arena
DETROIT, MI -- Police in Detroit have had strange murder cases before, but nothing quite like this. In the hours before the Red Wings' Saturday playoff game with the Colorado [continue reading...]
Posted on April 30th, 2008
NHL to get in on celeb dance craze, pair players with figure skaters
NEW YORK, NY -- Americans have a well-documented obsession with celebrities and reality television. So combining the two makes all the sense in the world, right? Well, that's something the [continue reading...]
Posted on April 3rd, 2008
Group of Russian NHL players set to block new MLS ruling
WASHINGTON, DC -- A formidable assembly of both current and former NHL players gathered before the governing body of Major League Soccer Monday morning, where they plan to protest the [continue reading...]
Posted on March 31st, 2008
NHL playoffs rumored to begin soon
BRISTOL, CT -- Over the past week, sources within the NHL have been whispering that the league intends to begin its annual playoffs soon, although the exact date remains in [continue reading...]
Posted on March 12th, 2008
FROM THE ARCHIVES: Crosby leads NHL All-Star ballotting
With Sid the Kid hitting the injury list for 6-8 weeks, he's not gonna get a chance to play in the All-Star game, even though he did finish as the [continue reading...]
Posted on January 22nd, 2008
Crosby leads NHL All-Star ballotting
PITTSBURGH, PA -- Pittsburgh Penguins center Sidney Crosby is on his way to reaching another milestone after NHL officials announced that the third-year phenom is leading the league in All-Star [continue reading...]
Posted on December 8th, 2007
New study reveals hockey is actually a sport
MONTPELIER, VT -- A groundbreaking new study by researchers at the University of Vermont has resulted in a startling finding – hockey is actually a sport. The study, conducted over the [continue reading...]
Posted on September 7th, 2007
Stanley Cup to go under knife
ANAHEIM, CA -- The Stanley Cup trophy has been in California for only a few weeks; but that was enough time for it to realize that it wants to get [continue reading...]
Posted on June 21st, 2007
Bettman moving for major changes
CHICAGO, IL -- NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman – known for spending each night in a new bed – was spotted at an MLS game in Chicago last week. There, with [continue reading...]
Posted on June 19th, 2007
Bettman discovers Cup has been won
NEW YORK, NY -- National Hockey League Commissioner Gary Bettman was delighted yesterday to hear that one of the thirty teams in his league had won the Stanley Cup. "Oh really? [continue reading...]
Posted on June 14th, 2007
Blackhawks to play 2007-08 on Lake Michigan
CHICAGO, IL -- After a season of miserably bad attendance, the once-proud Chicago Blackhawks have announced plans to leave the United Center and play their 2007-08 home games on Lake [continue reading...]
Posted on May 28th, 2007
Major changes on tap for NHL
NEW YORK, NY -- The 2007 NHL Playoffs are not yet over, and already league officials are planning big changes for next year's season. The league is in desperate need of [continue reading...]
Posted on May 15th, 2007
Crosby wins, whines, wins
OTTAWA, CANADA -- In a press conference before the Pittsburgh Penguins' Saturday afternoon win over the Ottawa Senators, the NHL presented young Penguin star Sidney Crosby with the first annual [continue reading...]
Posted on April 14th, 2007
Hockey to hold playoffs despite lack of attention
NEW YORK -- In a poorly attended Sunday afternoon press conference, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman announced that the league plans to hold their semi-annual postseason tournament despite the fact that [continue reading...]
Posted on March 4th, 2007
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