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Anquan Boldin only Cardinal to not watch inauguration; shunned by teammates

GLENDALE, AZ—Along with an estimated two-thirds of their countrymen, the Arizona Cardinals took a break from their team meeting Tuesday morning to watch the inauguration of Barack Obama as the [continue reading...]

Posted on January 21st, 2009

UPDATE: Kurt Warner actually not giving a full $500 per player to charity this year

PHOENIX, AZ -- A very upset Kurt Warner contacted SSNN late Friday to inform the staff of a critical error in a story published Friday. SSNN published a story Friday that [continue reading...]

Posted on January 17th, 2009

Local man not really interested in trading places with Donovan McNabb

mcnabb

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- As the Philadelphia Eagles were sewing up their victory over the New York Giants, Simon Humphries noted that it must be nice to be Donovan McNabb. "I was [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2009

Two dudes in Tampa pretty nervous about getting stabbed by Ray Lewis’s entourage three weeks from tonight

TAMPA, FL -- Juan Montanez and Cecil "Lucky C" Whitman are freaking out today, with the anticipation that one of them will almost surely be stabbed by one of [continue reading...]

Posted on January 12th, 2009

Local man promises nephew that the Chicago Bears will make the playoffs

CICERO, IL--Richard Montanez kept putting off getting a Christmas present for his eight-year old nephew David, which ended up being a huge mistake. "I kept delaying and procrastinating," Montanez said. "For [continue reading...]

Posted on December 28th, 2008

Cutler misses crucial practice when stuck in line buying fleece throws at Old Navy (for only $3!)

DENVER, CO -- Broncos starting quarterback Jay Cutler took a personal day Tuesday, blowing off a crucial practice so he could shop at Old Navy. "I was on my Twitter this [continue reading...]

Posted on December 23rd, 2008

Simpson’s “Ginormous bozangas” may have been distraction to Romo

IRVING, TEX - NFL commentators are providing a variety of analysis for the many probable reasons for the NY Giants 21-17 NFC [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2008

Madden not that excited for playoffs

PITTSBURGH, PA – John Madden is dismayed today after waking up and finding himself only partially excited for the Playoffs. "Normally I wake up on one Saturday in January, and BOOM!, [continue reading...]

Posted on January 5th, 2008

Putin backs Belichick as successor

MOSCOW -- Russian leader Vladimir Putin has backed New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick to replace him as president next year, according to a Russian media report obtained by [continue reading...]

Posted on December 10th, 2007

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Patriots to sim rest of season on Madden ‘08

The Patriots were only 9-0 when Bill Belichick began to consider simulating the remainder of the season using Madden '08. That option has to be looking even more attractive now, [continue reading...]

Posted on December 9th, 2007

Patriots to sim rest of season on Madden ‘08

FOXBORO, MA -- At his press conference on Monday, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick announced the team will simulate the rest of the season using the Madden '08 [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2007


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