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Favres forgot to cancel Monday Night Football party

KILN, MS -- Dozens of friends of Brett and Deanna Favre were puzzled Monday when they arrived at the Favre residence for a Monday Night Football viewing party, only to [continue reading...]

Posted on September 22nd, 2008

Packer fans disgusted: Favre would’ve thrown 4 tds

GREEN BAY, WI—Aaron Rogers has impressed the football world in his first two NFL starts, leading the Packers to a 2-0 start and throwing no interceptions thus far. On Sunday's [continue reading...]

Posted on September 16th, 2008

Matt Cassel prays science experiment ends world before Sunday

FOXBORO, MA—Newly-minted Patriots starting QB Matt Cassel has begun to pray that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiment in Geneva, Switzerland induces a cataclysmic reaction and ending all life on [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2008

Favre surprised, hurt that he’s not on McCain VP short list

Favre is really sad that he’s not a VP candidate.

NEW YORK, NY -- A disgruntled Brett Favre told reporters Thursday morning that he is "a little surprised and hurt" that he's not being seriously considered as a potential running [continue reading...]

Posted on August 14th, 2008

Rodgers asked for autograph for first time ever

Rodgers was thrilled to sign his first autograph.

GREEN BAY, WI -- After watching a reassuringly average performance against the Cincinnati Bengals, six year-old Green Bay resident Justin Fitchburg asked new Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers to sign his [continue reading...]

Posted on August 12th, 2008

ESPN scrambling for Wednesday programming

Van Peezy is looking for new, non-Favre material for his radio show.

BRISTOL, CT -- With the trade of Brett Favre from the Green Bay Packers to the New York Jets completed late last night, panic struck at ESPN headquarters. "Boy, was that [continue reading...]

Posted on August 7th, 2008

Jets can’t decide which weak-armed QB should start

Eric Mangini has a fat face and a QB controversy

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- New York Jets coach Eric Mangini has a problem that many football coaches have this time of year – he can't decide on his starting [continue reading...]

Posted on June 5th, 2008

Taylor offers to teach Parcells to dance

Imagine if that hottie was Bill Parcells… mmmm…

MIAMI, FL -- Miami Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor has made the first move in trying to repair his relationship with Bill Parcells, Miami's new Executive Vice President of Football [continue reading...]

Posted on May 29th, 2008

Faneca says little known skill helped in contract negotiation

LAMAR, TX -- Alan Faneca recently became the highest-paid offensive lineman in NFL history when he signed a four-year contract with a Jets team that struggled mightily last season, particularly [continue reading...]

Posted on March 18th, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Real-life Patriots outperform Bill Simmons-led Video Game Patriots

The Pats may not have been beating teams this bad lately, but chances are they'll smack the Giants worse than Bill Simmons ever could in a video game... NEW YORK, NY [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2008

Mangino eats Mangini in battle over nickname

MIAMI, FL -- In perhaps the oddest ending to a college football game of all time, University of Kansas Jayhawks head football coach Mark Mangino ate New York Jets head [continue reading...]

Posted on January 5th, 2008

Putin backs Belichick as successor

MOSCOW -- Russian leader Vladimir Putin has backed New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick to replace him as president next year, according to a Russian media report obtained by [continue reading...]

Posted on December 10th, 2007

Patriots sell Jets game film to Iran

belichick_hoody.jpg

NEW ENGLAND and TEHRAN -- In a surprise move, the New England Patriots have agreed to sell game film of the New York Jets to Iran's controversial nuclear program. "They were [continue reading...]

Posted on December 7th, 2007

Holtz pep talk forces ESPN to replace cameras

BRISTOL, CT -- ESPN got more than it bargained for last week when the network was forced to replace over $300,000 worth of camera equipment after analyst Lou Holtz performed [continue reading...]

Posted on November 29th, 2007

Testaverde’s buddies preferred him as armchair QB

CHARLOTTE, NC -- When the Carolina Panthers signed 43-year-old, veteran NFL Quarterback Vinny Testaverde last week, not everyone was happy about the deal. "We miss our boy," said Long Island, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 24th, 2007

Patriots send extra videotape to NFL, prove cheating did not help

FOXBORO, MA -- When the NFL receives the series of tapes that the New England Patriots are sending them as part of the spygate scandal, there will be one extra [continue reading...]

Posted on September 17th, 2007

Real-life Patriots outperform Bill Simmons-led Video Game Patriots

NEW YORK, NY -- The New England Patriots, in their 38-14 drubbing of the New York Jets, far exceeded the accomplishments of the Bill Simmons-led Madden 2007 Patriots, [continue reading...]

Posted on September 12th, 2007

NFL reviews confiscated tape, won’t penalize Pats

NEW YORK, NY -- Almost as soon as the spy camera scandal began, the National Football League put it bed. A source close to the league said that after careful [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2007


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