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NCAA Archives

BCS chief: We’ll try and have a national champ in place by April at the latest

NEW YORK, NY -- In a hastily-called press conference, BCS officials made clear today that the public should prepare to wait awhile to know who is the 2008 National Champion. "There [continue reading...]

Posted on December 4th, 2008

Kiffin to quit as Vols coach: “My work here is almost done”

KNOXVILLE, TN -- Citing that he'd "accomplished everything [he] wanted to," Lane Kiffin announced this morning that he's resigning as coach of the Tennesse Volunteers football team after allegedly committing [continue reading...]

Posted on December 2nd, 2008

Residents of Ohio town refusing to bathe in Michigan water

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. MONTPELIER, OH -- There's been a new stink added to the epic Ohio State-Michigan rivalry. Residents of the town of Montpelier, in [continue reading...]

Posted on November 22nd, 2008

Obama to spend entire day Friday giving sports advice to others

WASHINGTON, DC -- President-elect Barack Obama is spending Friday working on helping out the nation's sporting scene by blasting out free and unsolicited advice to various leagues, teams and athletes. [continue reading...]

Posted on November 21st, 2008

Syracuse thinking about signing Matt Millen as football coach

SYRACUSE, NY -- Syracuse University is considering hiring former Detroit Lions GM Matt Millen as their head football coach, in an attempt to revitalize their sagging program. "We feel like Matt [continue reading...]

Posted on November 20th, 2008

Father of four asks Danny Fortson for autograph in T.G.I.Friday’s

DUBLIN, OH -- Accountant Greg Garland is on cloud nine today after an amazing turn of events last night when he was out to dinner with his wife Barbara and [continue reading...]

Posted on November 15th, 2008

Cowell receives surprising position at ESPN

BRISTOL, CT -- ESPN officials announced Saturday that brash American Idol judge Simon Cowell will be hired as the new Director of College Scouting for the network’s talent evaluation organization [continue reading...]

Posted on May 10th, 2008

Residents of Ohio town refusing to bathe in Michigan water

MONTPELIER, OH -- There's been a new stink added to the epic Ohio State-Michigan rivalry. Residents of the town of Montpelier, in northwest Ohio, have sworn off bathing since learning [continue reading...]

Posted on April 7th, 2008

MIT simulation finds Self, Jayhawks on short end of stick

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Kansas Jayhawks fans are presumably up-in-arms today, after published reports claim a group of researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have unanimously concluded that KU has [continue reading...]

Posted on April 5th, 2008

NCAA to sanction multiple coaches for giving change to homeless

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Several years ago, the NCAA came down on then University of Utah men's head basketball coach Rick Majerus for buying one of his players, Keith Van Horn, [continue reading...]

Posted on March 24th, 2008

NCAA to pay athletes in McDonald’s gift cards, laundry tokens

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- In a move designed to placate increasingly noisy critics, NCAA president Myles Brand announced Thursday that beginning in the Fall 2008 term, the NCAA will compensate all [continue reading...]

Posted on March 13th, 2008

Nick Barkman, accountant, retiring from pro sports dream

ST. LOUIS, MO -- At a small press conference held in his living room, 24-year-old Nick Barkman shocked the world today by announcing his retirement from dreaming about playing on [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2008

Referee’s raised hand goes unnoticed at NCAA meeting

NEW YORK -- Mark McAnany, a referee who later served as a back judge during Friday night's Louisville-Connecticut game, failed to get the attention of instructor Joe Brinkman during a [continue reading...]

Posted on January 5th, 2008

U of L fan leaves game earlier to catch “Flip This House” rerun

LOUISVILLE, KY -- When it comes to Louisville football, loyalties run deep. UofL fan Dave McConnell and his wife, Lynn, left the Louisville-Pittsburgh game early in the fourth quarter [continue reading...]

Posted on January 5th, 2008

Mangino eats Mangini in battle over nickname

MIAMI, FL -- In perhaps the oddest ending to a college football game of all time, University of Kansas Jayhawks head football coach Mark Mangino ate New York Jets head [continue reading...]

Posted on January 5th, 2008

NCAA Bans Notre Dame from entering non-BCS Bowl Games

After dodging speculation over the past week, NCAA officials finally acknowledged yesterday that they secretly altered bowl affiliation rules shortly after the 2007 bowl season to exclude Notre Dame from [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2008

Rupp Arena banner to honor Duke’s four-game losing streak

Kentucky Athletic Director Mitch Barnhart announced Sunday night that the school plans to recognize Duke’s four-game losing streak by unveiling a banner before their next home game against LSU on [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2008

UK fan no longer wants Donovan after Florida loses 3 of 4

Kentucky fan Jay Marcum expressed frustration at Florida coach Billy Donovan after the Gators lost at Tennessee Tuesday night, marking the team's third loss in four games. "I [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2008

Brooks accepts coaching position at Tulsa

Rich Brooks accepted the special teams coaching position at Tulsa Saturday, ending a longstanding courtship among several schools who were seeking the coach that guided the Kentucky Wildcats to an [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2008

Stanford mathletes solve famous Trojan Theorem

After the surprising upset of Southern California, nine "mathletes" at Stanford University proved that it was possible for an incompetent football team coached by a psychotic ex-quarterback dud to defeat [continue reading...]

Posted on December 30th, 2007

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