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MVP Archives

Dominican baseballer A-Rod responds to charges — “No hablo Ingles.”

NEW YORK -- Controversy exploded this weekend when Dominican-American baseballer Alex Rodriguez was accused of using steroids. Rodriguez, widely considered the greatest player in the game, went into seclusion virtually immediately. [continue reading...]

Posted on February 9th, 2009

Kurt Warner orders Whopper, declares faith to drive through attendant

PHOENIX, AZ -– Kurt Warner had just led the Arizona Cardinals a heartwrenching defeat in Super Bowl XLIII against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and he was exhaused. When the aging quarterback [continue reading...]

Posted on February 4th, 2009

Furious Manning blames MVP award for playoff loss

INDIANAPOLIS, IN—Peyton Manning joined a very exclusive and elite club on Friday, becoming only the second man ever to win three NFL MVP awards in the modern era, equaling the [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2009

2008 Top 20, #14: Phillies extend Hamels with an 28-year, $937 million contract

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Following a dominant National League Championship Series in which the lefthander won the MVP award, Cole Hamels has been given a contract extension by the Philadelphia Phillies [continue reading...]

Posted on December 28th, 2008

Justin Morneau all pissed off at teammates over lack of Boxing Day well-wishes

MINNEAPOLIS, MN--Justin Morneau's teammates didn't call him to wish him a happy Boxing Day, and he is pissed off. "I spent the whole morning waiting for my mobile phone to buzz," [continue reading...]

Posted on December 26th, 2008

Ryan Howard is nailing chicks as if he won the MVP

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Albert Pujols may have the National League MVP trophy, but Ryan Howard is absolutely nailing chicks like he's the NLMVP. "He's definitely exhibiting some MVP-level sexuality right now," [continue reading...]

Posted on November 21st, 2008

Pedroia making Youkilis carry his MVP award around

BOSTON, MA--Red Sox Second baseman Dustin Pedroia became just the 2nd second baseman in the past 50 years to win the AL MVP Award. Pedroia was almost moved to tears [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2008

Confused voters mistakenly choose Pedroia as MVP

BOSTON, MA -- Many baseball writers around the country have egg on their face today, and are trying desperately to explain themselves, after failing to understand the rules governing MVP [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2008

Pujols told he’s MVP — responds, “Of the Cardinals?”

ST. LOUIS, MO -- When he found out he was named MVP, Albert Pujols was floored. "I honestly cannot believe this honor," Pujols said. "I'm so thankful to my teammates [continue reading...]

Posted on November 18th, 2008

Poll conducted by Zambrano shows Zambrano as NL MVP

CHICAGO, IL -- Carlos Zambrano has election fever. The star pitcher for the Cubs has taken it upon himself to take a poll concerning the National League MVP voting that has [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2008

Phillies extend Hamels with an 28-year, $937 million contract

Posted on October 16th, 2008

White Sox star Carlos Quentin injured while being treated for injury

CHICAGO, IL – Only days after the Chicago White Sox suffered a potentially fatal blow to their season at the hands of the poor decision-making skills of star Carlos Quentin, [continue reading...]

Posted on September 8th, 2008

Overly nice human being Chase Utley withdraws self from All-Star Game

PHILADELPHIA -- Chase Utley has withdrawn himself from the baseball All-Star Game on the grounds that he is getting too much positive attention, and that it would just be "so [continue reading...]

Posted on July 3rd, 2008

Pierce injures leg, unable to take out garbage

Pierce’s leg injury appears to be recurring

BOSTON, MA -- While Boston fans were celebrating their 17th NBA championship on Tuesday night, one of the key cogs from their latest championship squad was suffering déjà vu. Mere [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2008

Kobe demanding trade again after Game 4 loss

Kobe is going to make this face until he gets traded

LOS ANGELES, CA -- During a spectacular regular season that ended with the Lakers in the top spot in the Western Conference, and a playoff run that landed them in [continue reading...]

Posted on June 14th, 2008

Suns future in doubt after Shaq steps on Nash

PHOENIX, AZ -- Just when it seemed that things couldn't get any worse for the Phoenix Suns – they did. After making a late-season deal to acquire center Shaquille O'Neal from [continue reading...]

Posted on May 27th, 2008

Garnett apologizes to Celtics fans for “uncharacteristic” post-season performance

Kevin Garnett has disappointed with his great play

BOSTON, MA -- After helping his Celtics demolish the eighth-seeded Atlanta Hawks in game one of the their first-round NBA playoff series, a tearful Kevin Garnett apologized to fans for [continue reading...]

Posted on April 22nd, 2008

Waitress feels stupid after realizing Prince Fielder is not actually heir to any crown

PHOENIX, AZ -- Phoenix waitress Angela Lariano is feeling ashamed today, after she slept with Prince Fielder because she mistakenly believed the 250-lb. slugger was a real member of a [continue reading...]

Posted on February 25th, 2008

New, foolproof system developed to predict Super Bowl winner

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- A group of Harvard grad students, who claimed to have found a foolproof system for predicting football scores, may have experienced some setbacks. The group of young [continue reading...]

Posted on January 18th, 2008

One game left: Manning shifts focus to Pro Bowl

A frustrated Peyton Manning blamed his first Super Bowl win on Rex Grossman, and then lashed out at his Pro Bowl teammates for celebrating too early. "What are you doing?" Manning [continue reading...]

Posted on January 1st, 2008