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MNF Archives

Man spends entire afternoon figuring out how Andre Johnson can score 37.4 points in fantasy

LITTLETON, CO -- Frank Spaggs had a lot of stuff to do this afternoon, but it's all going to have to wait for tomorrow. That is because Spaggs spent his [continue reading...]

Posted on December 1st, 2008

Kornheiser spends most Sunday nights sleeping in a Dumpster

HOUSTON, TX -- A Burger King employee was startled this morning to find ESPN Monday Night Football announcer Tony Kornheiser fastasleep in the bottom of the trash receptacle. "I'm a big [continue reading...]

Posted on December 1st, 2008

Jaws totally drank from Kornheiser’s soda last night; “Act of War,” says Kornheiser

PHOENIX, AZ -- In what was either a complete accident or an overt act of war, Ron Jaworski reached down and took a sip of soda last night, setting off [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2008

God actually went to bed before Kurt Warner thanked him in post-game interview

PHOENIX, AZ, and HEAVEN -- A red-faced God apologized to Kurt Warner today after revealing that indeed he had already shut off his television set and gone to bed before [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2008

TO declares Monday night performance “best three-catch game ever in NFL history”

IRVING, TX -- Terrell Owens brashly declared that his three-catch, 79-yard, two touchdown performance was the "best three catch performance ever in the history of the NFL." Owens caught [continue reading...]

Posted on September 17th, 2008

Owens doesn’t want to talk about McNabb all the time; only 95 percent

IRVING, TX -- Terrell Owens informed local media today that he doesn't want to talk about Donovan McNabb and the Philadelphia Eagles all of the time leading up to the [continue reading...]

Posted on September 14th, 2008

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