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MLB Archives
Youkilis storms out of spinning class at local gym in protest over lack of Hannukah music
BOSTON, MA -- Volatile Red Sox infielder Kevin Youkilis stormed out of a spinning class today after just 37 minutes in a vicious protest over what he felt was an [continue reading...]
Posted on December 22nd, 2008
ESPN discovers 28 other MLB squads
BRISTOL, CT -- With the help of a research team numbering in the hundreds, sports media giant ESPN made a startling discovery this weekend that, over time, could prove to [continue reading...]
Posted on December 21st, 2008
ESPN discovers 28 other MLB squads
BRISTOL, CT -- With the help of a research team numbering in the hundreds, sports media giant ESPN made a startling discovery this weekend that, over time, could prove to [continue reading...]
Posted on December 20th, 2008
Hamilton wins best season by dude who once had a heroin addiction
ARLINGTON, TX -- Much was made in baseball circles of the lack of activity during last week's Winter Meetings in Las Vegas, but fans may be surprised to learn that [continue reading...]
Posted on December 17th, 2008
Yankees make a play for another big-named pitcher
BRONX, N.Y. -- Following the historic signing of pitcher C.C. Sabathia, the New York Yankees are in talks with another big name, announcing Thursday that they are going to pursue [continue reading...]
Posted on December 12th, 2008
First unanimous vote elects steroids to Hall
COOPERSTOWN, NY -- The Baseball Hall of Fame opened in 1939 with the induction of Babe Ruth and 12 other living legends of baseball. In the 68 years since its [continue reading...]
Posted on December 12th, 2008
Hampton injures himself while signing contract
HOUSTON, TX -- Mike Hampton crumbled to the ground in pain Monday while signing a contract with the Houston Astros. "Hammy had just finished signing his name to the multi-year, [continue reading...]
Posted on December 1st, 2008
Obama to spend entire day Friday giving sports advice to others
WASHINGTON, DC -- President-elect Barack Obama is spending Friday working on helping out the nation's sporting scene by blasting out free and unsolicited advice to various leagues, teams and athletes. [continue reading...]
Posted on November 21st, 2008
SEC decides Cuban’s punishment: he must purchase the Chicago Cubs
NEW YORK, NY -- In what will stand forever as a unique example of professional sports leagues and the federal government cooperating, a committee convened by the SEC, MLB and [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2008
Yankees fax offer to Sabathia who promptly eats it
NEW YORK -- The New York Yankees confirmed today that they have sent a contract offer to lefty CC Sabathia, but that unfortunately the pitcher devoured the fax. "It's no [continue reading...]
Posted on November 18th, 2008
ARCHIVE: Man’s wife spends fantasy winnings in single trip to grocery store
Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. ANN ARBOR, MI -- Last week Brian Babbit, 36, was on top of the world. The avid fantasy sports participant won his [continue reading...]
Posted on November 16th, 2008
Cy Young winner Lincecum anticipating severe dehydration and flulike symptoms tomorrow
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Emergency medical staff and hospital personnel throughout the Bay Area are on high alert after news broke Tuesday that Tim Lincecum would be receiving the 2008 [continue reading...]
Posted on November 12th, 2008
Joe Buck arrested outside of B.J. Upton’s hotel room holding a boombox over his head blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes”
PHILADELPHIA, PA -- When the Tampa Bay Rays decided to spend Wednesday night in Philadelphia, they knew they were taking a calculated risk. With their young team of burgeoning millionaires, [continue reading...]
Posted on October 30th, 2008
Poll conducted by Zambrano shows Zambrano as NL MVP
CHICAGO, IL -- Carlos Zambrano has election fever. The star pitcher for the Cubs has taken it upon himself to take a poll concerning the National League MVP voting that has [continue reading...]
Posted on October 29th, 2008
Rays ask MLB to refund costs of non-refundable plane tickets
PHILADELPHIA, PA -- The Tampa Bay Rays have made an unusual request to Major League Baseball today, asking Bud Selig if they can have the cost of 50 non-refundable plane [continue reading...]
Posted on October 29th, 2008
Without irony, McCarver refers to Buck as ‘pompous’
ST. LOUIS, MO -- Tim McCarver was just having a normal dinner conversation when someone asked him a question that changed the whole evening -- "What do you think of [continue reading...]
Posted on October 28th, 2008
Rays forfeit first game of World Series
TAMPA BAY, FL -- In an unusual move, the Tampa Bay Rays have officially forfeited the first game of the 2008 World Series, under the provision that Phillies pitcher Cole [continue reading...]
Posted on October 20th, 2008
Joe Torre abandons Chad Billingsley in Nebraska
OMAHA, NE—The Cornhusker State has been making headlines in recent weeks, with its “safe-haven” law—allowing parents to abandon their children at local hospitals without fear of reprisals—being prominently used by [continue reading...]
Posted on October 16th, 2008
Red Sox hoping to trade for a big bat for the rest of the postseason, like Manny Ramirez
BOSTON, MA -- A panicked Theo Epstein spent the entire evening Tuesday working the phones and his BlackBerry, attempting desperately to obtain a power hitter for the Red Sox lineup [continue reading...]
Posted on October 15th, 2008
Joe Buck walking around telling people about the significance of mundane events
LOS ANGELES and PHILADELPHIA -- Fox baseball announcer Joe Buck, overtaken with excitement about the National League Championship Series, has taken to describing the immense importance of ordinary events to [continue reading...]
Posted on October 14th, 2008
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