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MLB Archives
Pennsylvania small-business owner furious with National League
READING, PA -- Dan Kostansky, 41, is absolutely furious today with the National League All-Star team for robbing him of potentially the most productive workday of the year. "We've got eight [continue reading...]
Posted on July 16th, 2008
PETA protests Favre’s return
GREEN BAY, WI -- A protest by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals went horribly awry on Monday, leaving many longtime supporters confused and thousands of Brett Favre fans [continue reading...]
Posted on July 14th, 2008
Jones left behind after team picnic
LOS ANGELES, CA -- The Los Angeles Dodgers announced today that they accidentally left Andruw Jones behind after last night's team picnic, and that while the search for the center [continue reading...]
Posted on July 14th, 2008
Eva Longoria thrilled to be voted in to the All-Star Game
NEW YORK, NY -- Actress Eva Longoria told SSNN that she is "excited and thrilled" to have been selected by the fans as the final member of the American League [continue reading...]
Posted on July 13th, 2008
80’s singer Corey Hart wins online All-Star vote
NEW YORK, NY -- In a victory deemed by many baseball experts as a shocking upset, singer Corey Hart won an online fan vote for the final spot on the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 13th, 2008
Bob Gibson to stage Cardinals comeback
ST LOUIS, MO -- In a move designed to keep up with their National League Central rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals announced today that Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Gibson [continue reading...]
Posted on July 12th, 2008
Steroid prices to reach all-time high as demand increases
NEW YORK, NY -- Wall Street analysts are predicting a steep increase in the price of anabolic steroids worldwide due to increased demand this summer, with some market watchers are [continue reading...]
Posted on July 11th, 2008
Chipper Jones softball team wins first game of season
ATLANTA, GA -- Chipper Jones tasted victory for the first time this year Thursday, when the co-ed softball team on which he plays won a 21-18 thriller over their bitter [continue reading...]
Posted on July 11th, 2008
Marlins launch eco-friendly team shuttle
MIAMI, FL -- In an effort to at once save the environment and reduce the amount that they have to pay in mileage expenses, the Florida Marlins have announced a [continue reading...]
Posted on July 10th, 2008
Scratched DVD added to AL All-Stars
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In a surprising turn of events, MLB has decided to add another roster player to the 2008 American League All-Star team. While most thought the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 10th, 2008
Rays’ Maddon hailed as Second Coming
TAMPA, FL -- Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon has, by the standards of many baseball experts, performed a miracle in leading his previously hapless squad to first place in [continue reading...]
Posted on July 10th, 2008
CC Sabathia confused by new nickname
MILWAUKEE -- CC Sabathia had an unusual request of reporters in Milwaukee upon arriving with the team Tuesday – no more periods. "I've just decided to go with CC, without periods," [continue reading...]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
Sabathia settles Brewers rotation debate by eating Sheets
MILWAUKEE, WI -- When the Brewers traded for C.C. Sabathia yesterday, there was a lot of debate as to whether the incoming "ace" would replace the current "ace" of the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
SSNN forced to pull A-Rod story when it actually becomes true
CHICAGO, IL -- The Serious Sports News Network is reeling today after an ironic twist of events which resulted in a scheduled story for the satire site being pulled from [continue reading...]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
Cynthia Rodriguez seeking half in divorce filing
MIAMI, FL -- Citing irreconcilable differences, Cynthia Rodriguez has filed for divorce from New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez, seeking half of her husband's money and assets, including at least half [continue reading...]
Posted on July 7th, 2008
Source: Sabathia demanded trade to Milwaukee
CLEVELAND, OH – Mere hours after the trade of C.C. Sabathia to the Milwaukee Brewers was reported by ESPN's Buster Olney, sources within the Cleveland Indians organization say the team [continue reading...]
Posted on July 7th, 2008
Changes in store for All-Star Game
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After a wildly popular voting session that boasted an all-time high 20 million votes, MLB commissioner Bud Selig announced today that there will be a [continue reading...]
Posted on July 7th, 2008
Manny looking to alleviate summer boredom
BOSTON, MA -- As June comes to a close and baseball reaches the heart of its season, the wear of eighty-plus games is starting to take its toll on the [continue reading...]
Posted on June 30th, 2008
Rangers to sponsor “Josh Hamilton Night” in Arlington
ARLINGTON, TX -- The Texas Rangers sent out a press release early Monday announcing that the Friday, July 11 home game against the Chicago White Sox has officially been designated [continue reading...]
Posted on June 30th, 2008
A-Rod’s heart touched by Katy Perry single
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- With the New York Yankees hovering in third place in the AL East, 5.5 games behind the surging Tampa Bay Rays, Alex Rodriguez has been [continue reading...]
Posted on June 30th, 2008
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