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Missouri Tigers Archives

Cornell fan devises diabolical plan to get Big Red past Mizzou in NCAAs

ARLINGTON, VA -- Local patent attorney Mark Westeschtein is known for three things among his friends: his searingly intellectual prowess (normally viewed in application of the American patent process), his [continue reading...]

Posted on March 17th, 2009

Longhorns face difficult road to national championship

AUSTIN, TX -- It almost seems like the BCS doesn't want Texas to win a second national championship in five years this year. "Obviously, we're not biased against any [continue reading...]

Posted on December 5th, 2008

Chase Daniel awarded 2008 Heisman trophy

JEFFERSON CITY, MO -- In another startling move from the Missouri legislature, the body has decided to award Mizzou quarterback Chase Daniel the 2008 Heisman trophy. "I'm pleased to [continue reading...]

Posted on September 24th, 2008

Missouri legislature promotes Mizzou to NFL; removes Chiefs and Rams

JEFFERSON CITY, MO -- In an unprecedented and likely illegal tour de force, the Missouri state legislature passed a bill today that would remove the Kansas City Chiefs and St. [continue reading...]

Posted on September 24th, 2008

MIT simulation finds Self, Jayhawks on short end of stick

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Kansas Jayhawks fans are presumably up-in-arms today, after published reports claim a group of researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have unanimously concluded that KU has [continue reading...]

Posted on April 5th, 2008

Nick Barkman, accountant, retiring from pro sports dream

ST. LOUIS, MO -- At a small press conference held in his living room, 24-year-old Nick Barkman shocked the world today by announcing his retirement from dreaming about playing on [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2008

Fan dies of Jayhawk fever

LAWRENCE, KS -- David Winchester was what some people refer to as a 'die-hard fan.' One glance around his dorm room was enough to see that – its walls adorned [continue reading...]

Posted on December 15th, 2007

BCS formula actually Magic Eight Ball

TAMPA, FL -- School presidents, coaches and fans reacted with varying degrees of surprise when it became known late Sunday that the supposed BCS selection computer formula is really no [continue reading...]

Posted on December 3rd, 2007

KU and Mizzou set to battle for BCS title berth, bragging rights, tractors

KANSAS CITY, KS -- The heated rivalry between sworn enemies Kansas and Missouri became even hotter on Friday as local alumni bet fifty tractors on their respective teams. "This one's [continue reading...]

Posted on November 23rd, 2007

New BCS Rankings out, confusion at the top

SOUTH BEND, IN -- The latest BCS rankings have come out, and while things are predictable at the top in terms of the teams, anything goes as far as predicting [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2007

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