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Minnesota Twins Archives

Gardenhire wants to go double or nothing; Guillen reluctant

CHICAGO, IL -- An hour after the Chicago White Sox beat the Minnesota Twins in a one-game playoff, Ozzie Guillen received an unusual phone call from Twins manager Ron Gardenhire. "Yeah, [continue reading...]

Posted on September 30th, 2008

Delmon Young apparently thinks today’s game decides the World Series championship

CHICAGO -- An apparently confused Delmon Young arrived at U.S. Cellular Field convinced that today's one-game playoff between the White Sox and the Twins will decide the 2008 Major League [continue reading...]

Posted on September 30th, 2008

White Sox’ Ozzie Guillen proposes to “swap teams” with Twins’ Ron Gardenhire

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Following a crushing defeat in the third game of a three-game sweep that vaulted the Minnesota Twins into first place in the AL central, Ozzie Guillen made [continue reading...]

Posted on September 26th, 2008

Ken Griffey tears hamstring

Griffey hit the shelf before he ever got to the field for the Sox.

CHICAGO, IL -- In what can only be described as a freak accident, new Chicago White Sox centerfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. has torn his hamstring before ever setting foot on [continue reading...]

Posted on August 1st, 2008

Twins prepare Liriano defenses

Only a few days after the Minnesota Twins were seemingly discovered to be conspiring to limit Francisco Liriano's service time, SSNN got a hold of an internal memo that [continue reading...]

Posted on July 31st, 2008

Twins give Liriano ultimatum

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- For seemingly the first time all season, Francisco Liriano and the Minnesota Twins are on the same page. Liriano has spent much of this year dominating for the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 26th, 2008

Twins defect to NL, lead West division by four games

Mauer spearheaded the Twins’ move to the NL West

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- In what has been called a daring midnight escape, the entire Minnesota Twins organization defected from the gray, dreary American League Central to the sunny climes of [continue reading...]

Posted on June 28th, 2008

Escobar comes clean about injury

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Minutes following his team's 1-0 victory over the Minnesota Twins Wednesday night, Los Angeles Angels starting pitcher Kelvim Escobar revealed the real cause of the inflammation that [continue reading...]

Posted on April 3rd, 2008

Naked Twins GM discusses Livan Hernandez, new clothes

FORT MYERS, FL -- A completely naked Minnesota Twins general manager Bill Smith addressed stunned reporters today at a press conference about Twins opening day starter Livan Hernandez. "I know everyone's [continue reading...]

Posted on March 24th, 2008

Twins manager Gardenhire falls irrationally in love with Monroe

FORT MYERS, FL -- Twins manager Ron Gardenhire ended weeks of speculation by declaring his irrational love for outfielder/designated hitter Craig Monroe yesterday evening. Monroe joins infielder Nick Punto and [continue reading...]

Posted on March 17th, 2008

Hernandez, Twins at odds over unusual contract provision

FORT MEYERS, FL -- Tension erupted in the Minnesota Twins' camp as an obscure clause in starting pitcher Livan Hernandez' contract surfaced after yesterday's game. After losing veterans Johan Santana and [continue reading...]

Posted on March 12th, 2008

Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building part of deal for Santana

NEW YORK, NY -- Controversy is whipping through the streets of New York City today, as previously undisclosed details from the Mets' trade for Johan Santana have come to light. Residents [continue reading...]

Posted on February 5th, 2008

Red Sox add Simmons to package for Santana

BOSTON, MA -- According to sources within the organization, Boston Red Sox GM Theo Epstein is now willing to include ESPN.com columnist Bill Simmons – more popularly known as The [continue reading...]

Posted on December 18th, 2007

Mets trade for Santana

NEW YORK, NY -- Who would have thought this morning that trading for Brian Schneider and Ryan Church would only be the second-worst trade that Omar Minaya would make this [continue reading...]

Posted on December 1st, 2007

Garland gets Sox back on track

CHICAGO, IL -- After splitting a series with the Baltimore Orioles and improving to 8-3 over their last 11 games, fans and players alike were beginning to wonder whether the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 6th, 2007

MLB changes rules to suit sensitive players

MILWAUKEE, WI -- Due to forecasts of frigid temperatures and high winds, the Chicago White Sox and Minnesota Twins game scheduled for Friday night was postponed, as was a game [continue reading...]

Posted on April 8th, 2007

Justin Morneau has only 34 friends on MySpace

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Reigning American League MVP Justin Morneau is dismayed that, despite his rise in popularity and his MVP award, his MySpace page has failed to generate him the [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2007

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