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Milwaukee Brewers Archives
Hoffman to participate in sausage race instead of pitch
MILWAUKEE, WI -- The Milwaukee Brewers proudly announced that they have found a role for Trevor Hoffman on their club. "Yeah, that was a biggie, finding a way to get Trevor [continue reading...]
Posted on February 19th, 2009
CC Sabathia “so freakin’ pumped” for Springsteen halftime show
TAMPA BAY, FL—Like much of America, Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia is looking forward to tomorrow's Super Bowl. Unlike the overwhelming majority of his countrymen, however, Sabathia will not be tuning [continue reading...]
Posted on January 31st, 2009
Sheets using Rosetta Stone to learn Spanish in hopes of being signed by Minaya
NEW YORK -- Citing that "el saber de otra lengua es un cualidad de lanzadores muy buenos," Ben Sheets announced today he is desperately trying to learn Spanish in hopes [continue reading...]
Posted on January 28th, 2009
Yankees fax offer to Sabathia who promptly eats it
NEW YORK -- The New York Yankees confirmed today that they have sent a contract offer to lefty CC Sabathia, but that unfortunately the pitcher devoured the fax. "It's no [continue reading...]
Posted on November 18th, 2008
Sabathia loses control; weight expected to balloon.
MILWAUKEE, WI--Fresh off his disappointing performance in the Brewers' opening-round elimination, CC Sabathia has vanished, leaving friends and family concerned about the ace's weight and safety. ''It's no secret CC has [continue reading...]
Posted on October 6th, 2008
Philadelphia fan commits ritual suicide after dominant start by Cole Hamels
PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Cole Hamels dominated the Brewers for eight innings yesterday, propelling the Phillies to a 1-0 lead in their best-of-five playoff series, and tragically ending the life of [continue reading...]
Posted on October 2nd, 2008
Bush leaving work early to watch MLB playoffs
WASHINGTON, DC -- U.S. President George W. Bush announced that he's finishing work at 3:00 pm eastern time today, in plenty of time to get over to the residence and [continue reading...]
Posted on October 1st, 2008
Brewers have Sabathia throw a 180-pitch side session Tuesday
MILWAUKEE -- A "bored" Milwaukee Brewers team had ace pitcher CC Sabathia throw a 180-pitch side session Tuesday to help pass some time, a day before the team takes on [continue reading...]
Posted on September 30th, 2008
Selig proposes plan to make things right with Astros
HOUSTON, MILWAUKEE, NEW YORK, and PHILADELPHIA -- Bud Selig, apparently feeling "really bad" after ruining the Astros season last week and then demonstrating a total and complete double standard this [continue reading...]
Posted on September 25th, 2008
Selig to Astros: “Stop complaining, or I’ll make you play the entire 2009 season in Montreal.”
HOUSTON, TX -- As many Houston Astros players and fans express their outrage at Bud Selig's decision to force the Astros to play two makeup "home games" in Milwaukee, Selig [continue reading...]
Posted on September 22nd, 2008
Sabathia credits Boss for NL dominance
MILWAUKEE, WI -- Recently acquired Brewer's pitcher CC Sabathia has gone on a tear as of late – with an 8-0 record and an ERA of 1.60 in his nine [continue reading...]
Posted on August 22nd, 2008
Sabathia-Fielder combo devastating to Milwaukee buffet owners
MILWAUKEE, WI -- The recent acquisition of pitcher CC Sabathia has sent Milwaukee all-you-can-eat buffet owners running for the hills. "Prince Fielder was bad enough, but at least he was [continue reading...]
Posted on August 12th, 2008
Brewers cut Braun, Torres
MILWAUKEE, WI -- The Milwaukee Brewers made a stunning move following their four-game sweep of the Cardinals Thursday, when they released Ryan Braun and Solomon Torres, two of the best [continue reading...]
Posted on July 25th, 2008
80’s singer Corey Hart wins online All-Star vote
NEW YORK, NY -- In a victory deemed by many baseball experts as a shocking upset, singer Corey Hart won an online fan vote for the final spot on the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 13th, 2008
CC Sabathia confused by new nickname
MILWAUKEE -- CC Sabathia had an unusual request of reporters in Milwaukee upon arriving with the team Tuesday – no more periods. "I've just decided to go with CC, without periods," [continue reading...]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
Sabathia settles Brewers rotation debate by eating Sheets
MILWAUKEE, WI -- When the Brewers traded for C.C. Sabathia yesterday, there was a lot of debate as to whether the incoming "ace" would replace the current "ace" of the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
Source: Sabathia demanded trade to Milwaukee
CLEVELAND, OH – Mere hours after the trade of C.C. Sabathia to the Milwaukee Brewers was reported by ESPN's Buster Olney, sources within the Cleveland Indians organization say the team [continue reading...]
Posted on July 7th, 2008
NL Central teams petition to have games ended after eight innings
NEW YORK, NY – In an unprecedented move, management from four of the teams within the National League Central Division have petitioned MLB commissioner Bud Selig to allow their teams [continue reading...]
Posted on May 12th, 2008
Brewers’ mediocre play leading Uecker to drink again
MILWAUKEE, WI -- Entering the season, Milwaukee Brewers fans had reason to be optimistic about their team's chances to win a division title in 2008. After all, the Brew Crew [continue reading...]
Posted on April 30th, 2008
Men accidentally kiss after selecting Escobar at fantasy draft
ERIE, PA -- Things are a little awkward these days for a pair of friends from Erie's South Side, following an awkward incident that took place at this weekend's fantasy [continue reading...]
Posted on April 5th, 2008
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