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Mike Tirico Archives

Korhnheiser makes MNF execs wistful for halcyon days of Dennis Miller

CHICAGO, IL -- As yet another season's worth of Monday Night Football featuring Tony Kornheiser draws to a close, the higher-ups who handle the ESPN's sole pro football property are [continue reading...]

Posted on December 23rd, 2008

Kornheiser spends most Sunday nights sleeping in a Dumpster

HOUSTON, TX -- A Burger King employee was startled this morning to find ESPN Monday Night Football announcer Tony Kornheiser fastasleep in the bottom of the trash receptacle. "I'm a big [continue reading...]

Posted on December 1st, 2008

Jaws totally drank from Kornheiser’s soda last night; “Act of War,” says Kornheiser

PHOENIX, AZ -- In what was either a complete accident or an overt act of war, Ron Jaworski reached down and took a sip of soda last night, setting off [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2008

God actually went to bed before Kurt Warner thanked him in post-game interview

PHOENIX, AZ, and HEAVEN -- A red-faced God apologized to Kurt Warner today after revealing that indeed he had already shut off his television set and gone to bed before [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2008

ESPN scrambling for Wednesday programming

BRISTOL, CT -- With the trade of Brett Favre from the Green Bay Packers to the New York Jets completed late last night, panic struck at ESPN headquarters. "Boy, was that [continue reading...]

Posted on August 7th, 2008

Anchor Van Pelt still not sure what ‘ESPN’ stands for

BRISTOL, CT -- SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt is easily one of the more popular broadcasters on the leading sports network in the nation. With a quick wit and the [continue reading...]

Posted on January 10th, 2008

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