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Michigan Wolverines Archives

Michigan’s Rodriguez: “You were serious about how much you want to beat Ohio State?”

COLUMBUS, OH -- Shortly following a 42-7 drubbing at the hands of the Ohio State University, University of Michigan Wolverines head coach Rich Rodriguez was stunned at the angry reaction [continue reading...]

Posted on November 22nd, 2008

Residents of Ohio town refusing to bathe in Michigan water

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. MONTPELIER, OH -- There's been a new stink added to the epic Ohio State-Michigan rivalry. Residents of the town of Montpelier, in [continue reading...]

Posted on November 22nd, 2008

Rich Rodriguez thought he could bring his old team with him to Michigan, was wrong

ANN ARBOR, MI — New Michigan Wolverines coach Rich Rodriguez’s debut campaign has been anything but a fairy tale. After losing to rival Michigan State and two non-BCS teams [continue reading...]

Posted on October 31st, 2008

Buckeyes eyeing another BCS Championship thrashing

COLUMBUS, OH -- As the spring football season winds down, many teams have dreams of conference championships and bowl victories. The Ohio State Buckeyes, however, have a different goal [continue reading...]

Posted on May 12th, 2008

Jake Long demands trade from Dolphins

MIAMI, FL -- Miami Dolphins tackle Jake Long is not happy, and wants out. According to reports received by SSNN, the Michigan product – expected to be the first pick [continue reading...]

Posted on April 23rd, 2008

Residents of Ohio town refusing to bathe in Michigan water

MONTPELIER, OH -- There's been a new stink added to the epic Ohio State-Michigan rivalry. Residents of the town of Montpelier, in northwest Ohio, have sworn off bathing since learning [continue reading...]

Posted on April 7th, 2008

Harvard archeologists uncover suspected Paterno fossil

CAIRO, EGYPT -- A group of stunned archeologists from Harvard University made a historic find early Tuesday, when they unearthed an ancient fossil believed to be a human tibia at [continue reading...]

Posted on April 2nd, 2008

Terrelle Pryor having surgery to remove coaches

COLUMBUS, OH -- Terrelle Pryor's college career will begin this fall at Ohio State, after an intense and protracted recruitment battle. But the nation's number one recruit will have to [continue reading...]

Posted on March 25th, 2008

West Virginia claims Rodriguez is an illegal alien

MORGANTOWN, WV -- The divorce between Rich Rodriguez and West Virginia University has been anything but civil. Squabbling between the two parties has seemingly turned into a weekly event ever [continue reading...]

Posted on January 29th, 2008

Sooners pre-emptively decline all future Fiesta Bowl bids

NORMAN, OK -- Following a second consecutive loss at the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, the Oklahoma Sooners announced in a press conference this morning that they are officially refusing all future [continue reading...]

Posted on January 3rd, 2008

Miles to coach LSU, Michigan in 2008

BATON ROUGE, LA -- College football coach Les Miles announced Saturday that he will coach both the Louisiana State University Tigers and the University of Michigan Wolverines during the 2008 [continue reading...]

Posted on December 14th, 2007

Devil exercises option, Miles must move to Ann Arbor

BATON ROUGE, LA -- In agreement with a contract signed in 2005, rumors have surfaced that Satan has exercised his option with Les Miles, thereby forcing the LSU coach to [continue reading...]

Posted on November 29th, 2007

Carr expected to move as far from Tressel as possible

ANN ARBOR, MI -- Sources close to Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr told SSNN that Carr has yet to determine where he will relocate to after Michigan's bowl game – [continue reading...]

Posted on November 29th, 2007

Ohio State’s pre-emptive choke leaves college football gods furious

COLUMBUS, OH and HEAVEN -- The college football gods are absolutely irate today after The Ohio State University took matters into their own hands with a preemptive choke against Illinois, [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2007

Chris Webber consensus number one pick in Greek fantasy basketball

ATHENS, GREECE – Even though Chris Webber is far from coming to terms with Greek powerhouse Olympiakos, Webber has caused quite a stir in Greece's fastest rising industry, fantasy basketball. According [continue reading...]

Posted on October 12th, 2007

Patriots send extra videotape to NFL, prove cheating did not help

FOXBORO, MA -- When the NFL receives the series of tapes that the New England Patriots are sending them as part of the spygate scandal, there will be one extra [continue reading...]

Posted on September 17th, 2007

Michigan nabs early commitment

ANN ARBOR, MI -- The University of Michigan announced Friday that they have received a commitment from their quarterback of the future. Tom Brady told school officials over the weekend that [continue reading...]

Posted on April 17th, 2007

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