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Miami Dolphins Archives
Confused Shockey thinks he was traded to the Dolphins
MIAMI, FL -- A giddy Jeremy Shockey arrived in Florida hours ago, his head spinning with excitement at the prospect of joining the Miami Dolphins and performing again in the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 22nd, 2008
Parcells swayed by 2010 sixth-rounder
MIAMI, FL -- "One man's throw-in is another man's treasure," said a visibly enthused Bill Parcells, reeling with excitement after obtaining a 2009 second round pick and a 2010 sixth [continue reading...]
Posted on July 21st, 2008
Taylor offers to teach Parcells to dance
MIAMI, FL -- Miami Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor has made the first move in trying to repair his relationship with Bill Parcells, Miami's new Executive Vice President of Football [continue reading...]
Posted on May 29th, 2008
Dolphins may hold dance contest to lure Taylor back
MIAMI, FL -- Contrary to public reports stating otherwise, SSNN has learned that the Miami Dolphins are desperate to bring back Pro Bowl defensive end Jason Taylor. In recent months, [continue reading...]
Posted on May 22nd, 2008
Chiefs’ GM arrested for drafting while intoxicated
KANSAS CITY, MO -- NFL fans around the league knew something had gone horribly awry when it was announced that the Kansas City Chiefs had selected punter Brian Ross from [continue reading...]
Posted on April 28th, 2008
Chris Long, Jake Long plan identity switcheroo at draft
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- OT Jake Long of Michigan and DE Chris Long of Virginia, rumored to be the first two picks of this year's NFL Draft, are planning [continue reading...]
Posted on April 25th, 2008
Raiders have special plans for McFadden
OAKLAND, CA -- The Miami Dolphins surprised everyone Wednesday when they announced that the organization had come to terms with Michigan offensive tackle Jake Long, preemptively making the All-American the [continue reading...]
Posted on April 24th, 2008
Jake Long demands trade from Dolphins
MIAMI, FL -- Miami Dolphins tackle Jake Long is not happy, and wants out. According to reports received by SSNN, the Michigan product – expected to be the first pick [continue reading...]
Posted on April 23rd, 2008
Favre accidentaly signs with Dolphins while completing routine paperwork
GREEN BAY, WI -- While filling out paperwork that should have officially concluded his career with the Green Bay Packers, Brett Favre inadvertently signed his name in the wrong place [continue reading...]
Posted on March 27th, 2008
Dolphins DVD features non-fumbled handoffs, occasional yardage gain
MIAMI, FL -- Dolphins '07!, the highlight DVD for the 2007 Miami Dolphins, hits video stores Monday and features a scintillating array of moments from the 2007 season that do [continue reading...]
Posted on March 24th, 2008
Steelers linebacker James Harrison sentenced to 5-10 years with Cincinnati Bengals pending parole
CINCINNATI, OH -- Despite emotional pleas for leniency from his family, Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison was sentenced to 5-10 years of hard labor with the Cincinnati Bengals after pleading [continue reading...]
Posted on March 23rd, 2008
Saban compares signing day to September 11
TUSCALOOSA, AL -- Alabama Crimson Tide head football coach Nick Saban was visibly excited about his inaugural recruiting class at a press conference following national signing day. So excited, in [continue reading...]
Posted on February 12th, 2008
Miami parade to honor Giants, ‘72 Dolphins
MIAMI, FL -- The Miami Department of City Planning has announced that on Friday, February 8 at noon there will be a parade – formally the "Reebok Still Perfect Parade" [continue reading...]
Posted on February 6th, 2008
‘72 Dolphins remain most pretentious team ever
MIAMI, FL -- Though it came late enough this season to give them all a good scare, the 1972 Miami Dolphins got together on Monday for their traditional champagne toast [continue reading...]
Posted on February 5th, 2008
Shula: Patriots not undefeated until they win NCAA Tournament, World Series of Poker
GLENDALE, AZ -- Don Shula, coach of the 1972 Dolphins, hastily called a press conference outside University of Phoenix Stadium Thursday morning to make an important announcement about the New [continue reading...]
Posted on January 31st, 2008
Big Tuna adds marine biologist to packed staff
MIAMI, FL -- Bill Parcells announced Wednesday that he has added a marine biologist to the already packed staff that he has put in place for the Miami Dolphins. Dr. Donald [continue reading...]
Posted on January 23rd, 2008
New, foolproof system developed to predict Super Bowl winner
CAMBRIDGE, MA -- A group of Harvard grad students, who claimed to have found a foolproof system for predicting football scores, may have experienced some setbacks. The group of young [continue reading...]
Posted on January 18th, 2008
Parcells confident his man boobs won’t distract Dolphins
MIAMI, FL -- Legendary NFL head coach Bill Parcells insists his unsightly man boobs – otherwise known as "bitch tits" – will not become a distraction to the Miami Dolphins. [continue reading...]
Posted on December 31st, 2007
Awkward mistletoe encounter threatens Patriots’ chemistry
FOXBORO, MA -- For the New England Patriots, a team that has relied on such precision timing and an uncanny ability to avoid trouble for the past four months, Wednesday [continue reading...]
Posted on December 20th, 2007
NFL teams sponsor Peterson cloning experiment
MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- SSNN has received word that at least four NFL teams have reached an agreement with the Minnesota Vikings to attempt to clone Adrian Peterson. NFL organizations in [continue reading...]
Posted on December 20th, 2007
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