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Matt Leinart Archives

Kurt Warner regularly thanks God for Matt Leinart sucking

TAMPA, FL -- As a successful man of faith, Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner has often found himself giving thanks to his creator for the many good things that have [continue reading...]

Posted on January 27th, 2009

Anquan Boldin only Cardinal to not watch inauguration; shunned by teammates

GLENDALE, AZ—Along with an estimated two-thirds of their countrymen, the Arizona Cardinals took a break from their team meeting Tuesday morning to watch the inauguration of Barack Obama as the [continue reading...]

Posted on January 21st, 2009

Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. TEMPE, AZ -- With fellow receiver Anquan Boldin out due to injury last weekend, third-year wideout Larry Fitzgerald led the Arizona Cardinals [continue reading...]

Posted on November 23rd, 2008

Favre and Belichick to create douchebag magnet Sunday; expected to lure thousands to Foxboro

FOXBORO, MA—Scientists are scrambling this week, as supercomputers from the University of Chicago’s Yerkes Observatory have forecasted that this coming Sunday, in Foxboro, the presence of Patriots head coach Bill [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2008

Matt Cassel prays science experiment ends world before Sunday

FOXBORO, MA—Newly-minted Patriots starting QB Matt Cassel has begun to pray that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiment in Geneva, Switzerland induces a cataclysmic reaction and ending all life on [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2008

St. Louis Cardinals bench Matt Leinart

ST. LOUIS, MO -- St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa shocked the world today by announcing that he was proactively benching Matt Leinart in favor of and older, more experienced [continue reading...]

Posted on September 4th, 2008

Transcript of an audio recording capturing an exchange between Ken Whisenhunt and Kurt Warner of the Arizona Cardinals

[The following is an audio recording capturing an exchange between Arizona Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt and Cardinals QB Kurt Warner] Kurt Warner: “Hey coach…” Ken Whisenhunt: “Hey Kurt, how’s [continue reading...]

Posted on September 2nd, 2008

Leinart claims he always drinks out of bong

PHOENIX, AZ -- Photos showing former USC and current Arizona Cardinals QB Matt Leinart holding court with some young ladies in a hot tub and utilizing a beer bong made [continue reading...]

Posted on April 7th, 2008

Cardinals players, coaching staff outraged by Leinart party photos

GLENDALE, AZ -- After photos of Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart partying last weekend at his Arizona home become public via the internet, the young starlet's teammates and coaches angrily [continue reading...]

Posted on April 3rd, 2008

Kurt Warner’s wife mistaken for Jimmy Clausen

Kurt Warner thought his visit back to the Super Bowl would recreate fond memories of his former self at his best. The 1999 MVP performance. The 73-yard touchdown completion to [continue reading...]

Posted on January 1st, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv

On a day when Larry Fitzgerald carried many fantasy teams, SSNN looks back at an amusing story starting #11 from earlier this year in our daily From the Archives feature. TEMPE, [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2007

Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv

TEMPE, AZ -- With fellow receiver Anquan Boldin out due to injury last weekend, third-year wideout Larry Fitzgerald led the Arizona Cardinals to a 34-31 victory over their division foes, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 12th, 2007

Arizona Cardinals’ mascot job not all it’s cracked up to be

GLENDALE, AZ -- Standing outside of the storage closet that acts as his dressing room at University of Phoenix Stadium, Arizona Cardinals mascot and local community theater actor Michael Johansen [continue reading...]

Posted on August 22nd, 2007

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