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masturbation Archives

1,000,000th American man masturbates while thinking about Erin Andrews

POUGHKEEPSIE, NY -- Though he had no idea of the importance of his actions at the time, Poughkeepsie resident Gene Wilkinson made history somewhere around 12:30 A.M. Eastern Time Wednesday [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2009

Turns out Cooley masturbates fully clothed

WASHINGTON, DC -- It turns out that Chris Cooley masturbates fully clothed, SSNN has learned, after revelations surfaced that the star tight end studies his playbook naked. Cooley mistakenly posted a [continue reading...]

Posted on September 16th, 2008

Man picks Sharapova trading card over mother

FT. LAUDERDALE, FL -- A Florida man was arrested, but ultimately released Saturday after forcing his mother out of their Coral Springs home when he was given an ultimatum to [continue reading...]

Posted on October 28th, 2007

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