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Sosa: “See, that corked bat thing doesn’t look so bad now, does it?”

CHICAGO, IL—Amid revelations that he tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, Sammy Sosa took the opportunity yesterday to address different allegations, specifically those that arose after he was discovered [continue reading...]

Posted on June 17th, 2009

American public still under impression baseball players of old wouldn’t have used steroids

NEW YORK, NY—A recent poll conducted by Major League Baseball and ESPN in the wake of the firestorm of controversy following Alex Rodriguez’s admission of steroid use during his [continue reading...]

Posted on February 12th, 2009

Canseco ready to beat up more Hollywood stars (maybe)

PHILADELPHIA -- Training in a seedy Philadelphia gym on the wrong side of town, washed-up major league steroid user Jose Cancesco has found a new outlet for ‘roid rage’ that [continue reading...]

Posted on January 27th, 2009

Tell-all book reveals McGwire took steroids, had facial hair, played for Cardinals

ST. LOUIS -- A tell-all book by controversial slugger Mark McGwire’s estranged brother Jay is being met with interest by the sporting world thanks to the revelation that the book [continue reading...]

Posted on January 24th, 2009

Scandal rocks hot dog eating contest

Controversial back-to-back champ Chestnut stretches before a contest

CONEY ISLAND, NY -- Less than a week after the 93rd annual Nathan's International July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest, controversy continues to swirl around the competitive eaters who participated [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

Pujols adds insult to injury

Albert Pujols is simply terrifying

ST. LOUIS, MO -- After injuring the San Diego Padres' Chris Young and Josh Bard earlier this week, an emotional Albert Pujols called a press conference today – in an [continue reading...]

Posted on May 24th, 2008

Canseco’s testicles, Selig’s dour expression lead Cooperstown’s steroid exhibit

COOPERSTOWN, NY -- The Baseball Hall of Fame announced today that it has begun planning for an exhibit on steroids. The centerpiece of the exhibit will be a case displaying [continue reading...]

Posted on March 7th, 2008

Bonds furious over attention paid to McGwire and Sosa after release of Mitchell Report

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Despite the widespread media attention he has received as a result of the federal investigation into his relationship with BALCO, Barry Bonds was livid [continue reading...]

Posted on December 13th, 2007

Local fantasy owner files protest seeking money back, championship trophies

SANTA CLARA, CA -- Accountant John Donovan is furious today at what he perceives to be "gross injustices" in the way that the Santa Clara Fantasy Baseball Association has handled [continue reading...]

Posted on December 13th, 2007

FROM THE ARCHIVES: ESPN, MLB to debut The Syringe Life

Sports and reality TV collide! Finally, the marriage we've all been waiting for... NEW [continue reading...]

Posted on December 12th, 2007

LaRussa explains unusual batting order

ST. LOUIS, MO -- At a press conference after Monday's game, Tony LaRussa had a number of interesting things to say. Perhaps most interesting was the insight offered by the [continue reading...]

Posted on August 20th, 2007

MLB still toying with All-Star format

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- In 2003, Major League Baseball adopted the slogan "This Time It Counts" for the All-Star Game, after the previous year's game resulted in a tie. Commissioner [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2007

ESPN, MLB to debut The Syringe Life

NEW YORK, NY -- For the first time in history, one of the [continue reading...]

Posted on March 23rd, 2007

“Dubya” pardons Canseco, McGwire, Palmeiro, Sosa

WASHINGTON, DC -- At a hastily-convened Rose Garden press conference yesterday afternoon, President George W. Bush announced that he had just signed a Presidential Pardon clearing Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2007


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