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Mark Cuban Archives

Cuban uses blog to challenge J.R. Smith to steel cage match

Cuban will eat your face off if you fuck with his team.

DALLAS, TX -- Days after being assessed a $25,000 fine for improper interaction with an opposing player, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is pushing the envelope again – this time [continue reading...]

Posted on January 18th, 2009

Stern attributes dress code to increase in quality of crime

NEW YORK, NY -- When David Stern institutes the controversial NBA dress code a couple seasons ago, he never thought it would work this fast. "It's only been a couple [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2008

SEC decides Cuban’s punishment: he must purchase the Chicago Cubs

NEW YORK, NY -- In what will stand forever as a unique example of professional sports leagues and the federal government cooperating, a committee convened by the SEC, MLB and [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2008

Cuban confused NBA with real-life, lawyers assert

DALLAS, TX—Controversial Mavericks owner Mark Cuban was indicted yesterday by the Securities and Exchange Commission yesterday after it was revealed Cuban sold 600,000 shares in Mamma.com after learning privately that [continue reading...]

Posted on November 18th, 2008

Josh Howard refuses to bow to Queen of England

LONDON, ENGLAND—Dallas Mavericks Small forward Josh Howard found himself embroiled in yet another controversy yesterday during a team trip to the United Kingdom. The Mavericks had the honor of meeting [continue reading...]

Posted on September 25th, 2008

Josh Howard joins Al-Qaeda

DALLAS, TX--Fresh off his recently uncovered disparaging remarks about the national anthem and subsequent media controversy, Dallas Mavericks small forward Josh Howard announced yesterday that he would be giving up [continue reading...]

Posted on September 23rd, 2008

Stern maintains no criminal acts by NBA referees

Stern says the refs don’t cheat, they just stink

LOS ANGELES, CA -- In an apparent attempt to silence critics in the wake of game-fixing allegations leveled by former referee Tim Donaghy, NBA commissioner David Stern addressed the media [continue reading...]

Posted on June 15th, 2008

Electronic Arts announces recall, delayed release of NBA Live ‘09

REDWOOD CITY, CA -- Electronic Arts, maker of the EA Sports line of video games, announced today that they are pushing back the release of this year's version of their [continue reading...]

Posted on June 12th, 2008

Cuban loses control, fires self

DALLAS, TX -- When he arrived at work on the morning after his Mavericks team's second straight first-round exit from the NBA playoffs, Mark Cuban was on a rampage – [continue reading...]

Posted on April 30th, 2008

Cuban trying to reverse Kidd trade before Game Five

NEW ORLEANS, LA -- A source within the Dallas Mavericks organization has confirmed that owner Mark Cuban is attempting to undo the much-ballyhooed trade for point guard Jason Kidd, "hopefully [continue reading...]

Posted on April 29th, 2008

Kidd trade involves Nets janitor and some old guy

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ -- After a preponderance of proposals and days of debate, the trade between the New Jersey Nets and the Dallas Mavericks surrounding Jason Kidd has finally been [continue reading...]

Posted on February 20th, 2008

Cubs ready for overdue vacation

CHICAGO, IL -- After the Chicago Cubs were swept by the Arizona Diamondbacks in the NLDS, there was relief in the Chicago locker room. "To be honest, I was kind of [continue reading...]

Posted on October 7th, 2007

Cuban likely to declare war on Rockets

DALLAS, TX -- Mark Cuban held a press conference on Monday to announce the Dallas Mavericks "newest acquisition," but it was quickly established that the team did not have a [continue reading...]

Posted on August 6th, 2007

Cuban no longer interested in buying Cubs

CHICAGO, IL -- A really fun afternoon ended poorly for Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, and has left fans of the Chicago Cubs stunned and depressed. Cuban, a billionaire, applied [continue reading...]

Posted on July 26th, 2007

NBA officials send Wade to line

SAN ANTONIO, TX -- After a late-night meeting, the NBA officiating committee has decided to call a preemptive flagrant foul on the Dallas Mavericks for the next time they face [continue reading...]

Posted on June 12th, 2007

Cuban holding grudge

DALLAS, TX -- Dallas Mavericks' owner Mark Cuban refuses to let his feud with former Mavs head coach Don Nelson die. Cuban announced Monday that he has purchased the Utah [continue reading...]

Posted on May 8th, 2007

Thomas planning more additions

NEW YORK, NY -- In a strange move late last week, the New York Knicks signed Randolph Morris directly out of the University of Kentucky. "Man is this cool," general [continue reading...]

Posted on March 26th, 2007

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